When Will The Sun Come Out?
by Gotfandomsuperwholock
Summary: Clary and Jace are orphaned and are forced to live in the same house. Both have mixed up past, will they be able to find console in each other? Rated M for language and brief sexual content
1. Chapter 1

When Will The Sun Come Out?

CPOV

I was running and running, through the rain, trying to get away, but my little ten-year-old wouldn't take me any further. I tripped over a branch that appeared in my path, and into a pool of mud. The bad man caught up to me in a manner of seconds and scooped me up in his arms. I thrashed and screamed, but my attempts were futile. All the while he kept saying that he wasn't going to hurt me, that he was gonna take me to a nice home. But I knew better, big brother told me where they were going to take us. I blacked out.

I woke with a start to a little runt pushing me in the shoulder over and over. _Damn that dream to Hell_, I thought. Slowly I turned my head to see Max with an annoyed expression on his face. Even when annoyed, Max was the cutest nine year old I had ever seen.

"Come on, Clary! Breakfast is getting served and I don't want to miss out on the pancakes again!" He informed me in a huff.

"Alright, alright, I'm up." I said as I kicked off the covers and rolled out of bed. I had planned on brushing my teeth and getting dressed first, but Max had other plans. He took hold of my hand and dragged me down stairs and into the kitchen. I saw Izzy, Alec, and Simon standing in line to get to the food. Jace, of course, was already seated at the table and eating a stack of pancakes and plenty of bacon. Jace was one of those annoying early-bird types, and since he was always the first one up, he was always the first one to get breakfast.

Also at the table was Robert, our foster dad, reading the newspaper and quietly sipping coffee. Mayrse, our foster mom, had already left for work. It was an unspoken rule that Robert would stay and look over the kids in the morning, while Mayrse immediately headed for work. For a foster home we were relatively small, only five kids, and three of them were the actual biological kids of Robert and Mayrse. Those would be Izzy, Alec, and Max. I guess that's why didn't adopt a lot of kids, like they normally do, because they already had three of their own. Even though Simon was here a lot, even for breakfast, he didn't live here so he didn't count. _Because unlike me, he actually has parents_, I thought bitterly. I don't usually think that way about Simon, he is my best friend after all, but sometimes I can't help but be jealous that he still has his parents and I don't.

I was suddenly taken out of my reverie when I small hand tugged on my shirt. "Come on Clary, Izzy's gonna steal all the pancakes again!"

"Hey," Izzy exclaimed. "I did not take all of them last time! Simon helped."

"Hey now!" Simon said

"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me," She replied matter-o-factly.

"Okay," I said "Stop bickering you two."

I grabbed me and Max plates from the cupboard, and handed one to him. When we finally made it to the food, there was only one pancake left, which I gave to Max. Leaving me with an egg, and a couple of strips of bacon. Truthfully it wasn't too bad, I don't usually eat that much anyway, but it would have been nice to have a pancake.

As if reading my thoughts Jace chimed in. "Should have got up earlier, Fray," He said with a smirk.

"Shut up, Wayland." I replied calmly as I started to cut up my egg. Jace was the only other one that lived here that was also an orphan. You'd think this would help us bound right? You know, the whole I get you and you get me? Nope, ever since I showed up here when I was ten, Jace has been a complete and total ass to me. Unlike me, he has been here since he was five, and from what I can tell, it was not a good five years before he ended up here. I don't take his assyness personally, though, he treats everyone like that, except Max. Sometimes, though, it seems like he goes out of his way to be extra mean to me.

"Both of you," Robert started. "Be nice to each other."

Jace snorted, "Fat chance."

I didn't even dignify that with an answer and just took a bite out of my bacon. Robert shook his head, but said nothing. The rest of breakfast went pretty much like it always does. Max went on and on about his new comic books. Alec sat in sullen silence. Izzy and Simon sat very closely to each other, whispering and laughing at their jokes. They were 'secretly' going out because they think it would be weird, my best friends going out. Of course they are both very bad at keeping secrets, so it was actually painfully obvious that they were. And there was Jace, who loved glaring at me throughout all of it, and only occasionally speaking when Max said something directed at him. Normally I'd be angry that Jace would choose to sit there and glare at me, however it did keep him from speaking to much, and that my friend is proof of miracles.

I finished breakfast quickly and put my dishes in the dishwasher, then turned to walk out, but before I could Robert spoke up. "Me and Maryse have to go to a dinner with some potential clients so we will be out late. I expect each and everyone of you to be on your best behavior."Looking at each on of us sternly and finally landing on Jace, where he stayed a little longer than the rest of us. Mayrse and Robert owned Lightwood Law. Which is basically this big law firm that is the reason we live in this humongous house, that they saw fit to name the Institude. I know, its sounds like a correction facility, but that's just how they are.

We all chimed in with our 'Yeah Sures' and 'Of courses'. We didn't normally get in trouble, minus Jace, so that satisfied Robert. Finally he got up and I took that as a cue that I could leave. I went up stairs and into my room to grabbed some fresh clothes, a pair of worn out jeans and t-shirt Simon gave me that said I 3 Nerds. I was just about to enter the bathroom across from my room, when I heard a voice say, "Mind if I join you?"

I knew who it was the minute he said it, still I turned around to see Jace right behind me.

"As a matter of fact, I do." I said snidely. I didn't usually let him get to me, but I was cranky today.

"Ah come on," He drawled. "What's that saying 'Save water, shower with friends'?"

"Yes, but that would be implying that your my friend. Which, your not."

"Mhmmm, we could start." He said it teasingly, but something in his eyes shifted.

I ignored it. "I'll pass thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to take my shower now."

He bowed and swiped his arm out gesturing for me to enter the bathroom. "Of course."

I rolled my eyes at him and went into the bathroom, and made sure to _lock_ the door. I put my clothes down on the toilet seat and stripped out of my pajamas. I turned the water on a little warmer than usually and slipped in. As the water drenched me from head to toe, I thought about the dream I was having before Max had woken me up. I'd had the dream plenty of times before, and it was always the same. It was about the night my neighbor found out that our parents weren't taking care of us anymore.

I was still mulling over it when I was suddenly sucked back into reality by a knock at the door. "Have you ever heard of global warming? Were suppose to be conserving water, not using up half the Pasific Ocean!" I heard Izzy screech from the other side of the door.

"Yeah I hear ya." I yelled back. I turned off the water, realizing that I had used up all the hot water. She is really going to be pissed about that, _oops_. I stepped out of the shower and quickly toweled off and put my clothes on. I ran a brush through my hair, once I was satisfied with my look I opened the door, which invited Izzy to come barging through.

"It's about time!" She yelled. She was just about to go on her usual rant about how her getting ready was a 'process' when she noticed how tired I looked. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She looked skeptical so I threw on a bright, fake smile. "Really Iz, I'm fine."

She still didn't look like she believed me, but knew that trying to get information out of me was futile so she gave in. "Alright."

I walked out and ran right into the bane of my existence. "Hello Jace." I said.

"Why hello there Reds, you know you were in there for quite awhile."

"Yeah, so?"

"Were you thinking of me?" He said with a grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame.

"God don't be gross. Wait, no, scratch that, don't be such a _guy_."

"I'm sorry but last time I checked I was a guy."

"You sure about that?"

"Want me to prove it to you?" He asked with that annoying-ass cocky grin of his.

"I suppose I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

At this he actually smiled. "Yeah I suppose you did." We stood there for a while in a sort of awkward silence before I finally spoke up.

"Well, I'm gonna go to my room now."

"Yeah, right, of course." He said. Neither of us moved. We just stood there and stared at each other for awhile. His eyes were a perfect gold that reminded me of a lion stocking its prey. I saw a million emotions sweep through his eyes, irritation, cockiness, sadness, and vulnerability? Finally I shook myself and stepped around him and into my room. As soon as the door was shut, I slid down it and onto the floor. Did Jace really look vulnerable for a second? No I must be seeing things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright so this took me a long time to write, but that is mostly due to the fact that I was**

**playing with my new gadgets that I got for Christmas :) But here it is and here**

**It will stay. I hope you enjoy and I'd like to thank all my peeps for the feedback.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of or having to do with the Mortal Instruments! The sad truth of reality :'(**

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CPOV

I got up and walked over to my nightstand and grabbed my sketch book and sharpened pencil , and walked over to my windowsill. I sat on the small ottoman that sat just under my window and looked around my room for inspiration. My room was a fairly good size, and even though Mayrse wouldn't let me paint the walls, I was still able to plaster them with posters. My bed was a double, and covered in a bright green, satin comforter and plush white pillows. Next to it was my nightstand that had a lamp on it and a glass of water. On the opposite end of my room was a desk cluttered with papers, drawings, homework, and just about anything else you could think of. My floor pretty much resembled my desk, except my floor was cluttered with clothes and shoes.

Not finding inspiration in my room, I turned to look out my window. I was on the second story and my window looked down on the streets of New York. Truly it wasn't a horrible sight, except when I looked up to the sky. It down near brought tears to my eyes, the sad display of twinkling lights being clouded by smog. When ever I drew my view, everything looked to scale except for the sky. I always drew the sky like I thought it should look, bright and glorious.

As I looked I noticed a bench, just beneath a light-post. On the bench was a single, silhouetted figure with their head in their hands. I don't know why, but I was drawn to the figure so I slowly began to draw the scene below me. As I drew I tried to come up with a story for this faceless person. I decided by the size of the person that it was a man, and that he was probably only about five years older than me. From the way he was sitting it was obvious he sad about something, but there had to be more to it than that. Maybe he regretted something. _Yes_, I decided, _he was regretting something, _but what_?_

I finished the out line and had just started shading it, when I heard a knock at the door. I put down my sketchpad and pencil and turned off the sounds of the All American Rejects before walking over to the door, tripping once on an old discarded shirt. I opened the door to find none other than Jace standing in my doorway with his trade-mark smirk on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"May I come in?" He asked as he walked through, not even bothering to wait for an answer.

"Sure, why not." I said sarcastically as I closed my door and tuned to him. He was looking around my room like he was inspecting it.

"You know your living and a total pigsty right?" He said.

"Not all of us choose to live like monks you know."

"Yes, well I'm not asking you to live like that, I'm just pointing out that it wouldn't kill you to clean up every once in awhile." He considered this for a moment. "In fact it could actually kill you not to, I mean this has got to be a fire hazard."

"Oh as if you really care about my well-being."

He whispered something I didn't quite catch, but if I had to guess, sounded a lot like 'More than you know.' He shook his head and turned back to me.

"What do you want, Jace? I'm sure you didn't come here just to tell me that my room is messy."

"No, actually, I didn't." He said, not caring to elaborate.

"So... What did you come here for?" I said getting a little irritated at this point.

"What I can't come up here just to hang with you." He asked, just trying to get my goat. And I'll be damned if it wasn't working.

"No you can't because we," I said gesturing between us. "don't just hang, we yell until the other goes away."

"Did you ever think that maybe we should at least try to have a civilized conversation?" He asked also getting irritated.

"Once," I said. "When I first got here, but as soon as I started talking you, you said that I had a disease and started running around the house, telling everyone that I had rabies. In fact, as I recall, Izzy and Alec refused to talk to me until their parents could convince them that I didn't have a disease." I finished in a huff, as I recalled the insident.

"Come on Fray," He started. "I was a eleven year old boy, I thought all girls had a disease." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You didn't react that way to Izzy, _Wayland,_" Making sure to use his last name.

"You weren't even here when I first moved in, how would you know how I reacted?" He asked incredulously.

"Izzy and me happen to be best friends, remember? She told me that when you got here you ran up straight up the stairs and ran into a room, refusing to come out for a whole day."

"Why did she tell you about the day I came here?" He asked.

"I asked," Blushing furiously, not even really knowing why. I just knew I didn't want Jace to think that I asked about him a lot. Which I didn't.

"Why?"

"Jeez Jace, I really don't know. It was about a month after I had moved in and you still continued to treat me like complete crap, and I guess I was just trying to figure out why." He considered this for a moment rubbing his chin like he was contemplating world hunger, or something.

"That makes sense, I guess. I mean I suppose I would want to know why someone was randomly treating me like crap too." He conceded. There was a silence after that as I contemplated whether or not I should ask the next question that came to mind after that conversation.

Finally I decided this might be the only chance I get to ask him. "Jace, why do you hate me?"

Immediately he said, "I don't hate you Clary. I just..." He looked at lost for words. That's a first, Jace Wayland lack of a witty comeback. He sighed and finally gave up. "It's complicated."

"So simplify it." I said, starting to get really pissed off. The man treats me like dog crap, and then won't even tell me why? I don't think so.

"There is no simple answer Fray, its, just...complicated."

That's it, the final straw. The bucket has tipped over, my friend. "Ugh! You, Jace Wayland, are the most infuriating, difficult, stupid, arrogant, narcissistic bigot I have ever had the displeasure of meeting! Now just tell me what you came up here to tell me or get the hell out of my room!"

"You know what, just forget it, it was stupid anyway."

"I suppose it would be since it was coming from you!" I knew I was being harsh, but I just didn't care anymore. He gave me one last good glare and left my room with a slam of the door.

JPOV

I can't believe _I_ just said that. I'm so stupid. I can't believe _she _just said that. She's so stupid. I can't believe _we_ just did that. People are _really_ stupid. I mean seriously, you go up there, trying to do a good thing, maybe make amends, and I completely screwed it up. But hell if talking to her wasn't like trying to negotiate a peace treaty with North freaking Korea.

I don't even know why I tried. I mean really, why would I want to make amends with her any way? _You know exactly why_, a voice shot back. Shut up stupid voice! Am I really having a conversation with my self? I should be committed.

I walked down stairs and was going to take a walk, before it got dark, when I ran into Isabelle. Literally.

"Hey, what are you blind? I'm walking here." She bitched at me.

"Sorry, I'm just out of it, alright?" I tried to step around her, but she placed herself right in my path.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"What makes you think something is wrong?"

"Because you just apologized for bumping into me, and you would never do that unless you were just trying to get me off your back. And you'd only do that if something was wrong."

"If what you said is true, than don't you think that you should do as I want and get off my back."

"No, why would I do that?" She asked as if that was the dumbest thing she had ever heard.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because when something is wrong, I just want to be left alone."

"So you admit something is wrong."

"Yes, okay Izzy, I admit it, something is wrong. Now," I stepped around her. "if you don't mind I'd like to leave now."

I just about made it to the door when she said, "You know if you stopped being such a douche to her, I'd bet she'd talk to you." I ignored her comment and went out the door and into the smoggy air.

~X~X~X~

CPOV

I ran downstairs in a rush. Today was I had forgot to oversleep and was running late for school. I finally got to the kitchen and grabbed an apple and ran outside. The car was still there, and I could see Alec and Izzy getting into it. I ran over there and threw open the car door and slid inside.

"Just made it I see." Izzy remarked as Alec pulled out of the driveway. Alec was the only one of us with a car, because he was the eldest, so he got to drive. I think this kind of annoyed Jace. He seems like the type that would want to be in control of that kind of thing. _I bet if I was his girlfriend, he'd never let me drive. _Woah, where did that come from?

"Um, yeah, I forgot to set my alarm. How come none of you came and woke me up?"

"We figured you didn't feel good and were staying home." Izzy said.

"Ah, I see. Well next time let's check, just to be sure."

"We were going to, but Jace said that if you were sick, you wouldn't want to be disturbed."

"Thanks a lot Jace," My voice dripping with sarcasm. "I almost missed school because of you."

He turned around in his seat up front, riding shotgun of course. "Yes because that would be a tragedy. And for your information, I was trying to do something nice for you."

This brought me up short. "Well, don't do it again." I finally said.

"What, something nice for you?" He asked incredulously. "Fine, next time I think your sick I'll have Max come running in there banging on a pot with a spoon yelling at you to get up."

"Jerk-off" I said. If I really thought about it, I suppose it was actually kind of nice. But Jace didn't do nice things for me, so I worked under the assumption that he was just trying to piss me off, and was covering by making it look nice.

He turned more directly toward me and opened his mouth to say something, but caught Izzy's eye and quickly shut it again. He turned back around in his seat and grumbled something incoherent. Maybe Izzy had told him to back off, but I highly doubt that he would have, even if she threatened him.

We pulled up to the school and found a parking space very far away from the actual building, because we got here a little later than usual, and all the closer spots were taken. We all got out of the car and Alec quickly stocked off, no doubt to meet Magnus for some secret make-out session. Alec still hadn't come out to Mayrse and Robert yet. Izzy hung back a little, until she spotted Simon and made a mad dash for him. That left just me and Jace to make the long hall back to the school. _Oooo goodey, this going to be fun_, I thought sarcastically. I really needed to stop hanging around Jace.

We walked in silence for a little while, until Jace finally spoke up. "Do you think they'll be serving mystery meat, or last weeks tacos?" He asked.

"I don't know, I usually pack lunch so I- Oh shit." I said throwing my palm to my forehead.

Jace stopped short and turned to me. "What?"

"Nothing, just in my rush to get out the door this morning, I forgot to pack lunch."

He seemed relieved and started walking again. Why was he worried? "Oh that's all, you can just share with me."

Now it was my turn to stop. "You would share your lunch with me?"

"Um, well, yeah."

"Just out of the kindness of your heart?" I asked warily.

"Contrary to common belief Fray, I do have a heart. And there is kindness in it."

"Well if there is, I've never seen it." I said walking again.

"Sure you have, you saw just now. When I offered to share my lunch with you."

"You'll have to forgive me Jace, but since you've been making my life hell since I moved here, so I'm a little bit wary that you would all of sudden start being nice to me."

"Look, Clary, people have changes of heart all the time. It's really not all that uncommon, in fact were reading about one in English."

"And that's what this is, Jace. A change of heart?" I asked.

"What else would it be?" We walked in silence a for a few minutes until we finally made it to the building, just in time too. We said an awkward goodbye and went our separate ways for class. School was school as always, boring and uneventful. At lunch Jace really did share lunch with me, though we didn't talk about it. Simon and Alec kept giving us funny looks, but Izzy kept staring at us with that dreamy look on her face she gets when we watch movies like The Holiday and The Time Traveler's Wife. Once I think I even saw her give a wink to Jace. Whatever was going on between those two, I did not want to know.

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**Alright so that was a little on the long said I suppose but, I always liked long chapters better anyway.**

**I wanted to know something, when I was writing this, I was trying to fill it with a lot of funny and i was wondering if, you know, it's actually any funny.**

**So if you so choose to leave a review I ask that you tell me if it was even remotely funny or not. Don't be shy, I can take it ;)  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Alright people's I've been getting some good reviews, so thank you for **

**the boost in my ego. Just a heads up this whole chapter is basically the last**

**chapter from Jace's point of view, cause I know that you want to know**

**what he mumbles under his breath.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with the mortal instruments. Sad but true.**

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JPOV

Beep...beep...beep..beep..BEEP. _What the hell_, I thought, _oh right the alarm clock_. BEEEEP! I quickly slammed down on the off button to stop the insistent beeping. _Jesus Christ you'd think I had personally bitch slapped its mother, the way it kept beeping at me._ Note to self, get quieter alarm clock.

I rolled out of bed and grabbed some fresh clothes, and made my way to the bathroom, to yell at Clary to get out, like I do every morning. I got to the bathroom and was just about to bang on the door, when I noticed that there wasn't a sound coming from the other side of the door. As proof of my complete lack of respect for people's privacy, I barged in only to find it completely empty. That's odd, maybe she got up early this morning. Either way I appreciated the extra bathroom time.

I quickly stripped out of my jamma pants and boxers and stepped into the shower. I turned the water on to medium and let the water roll down my back. Slowly working out the knots in my neck. I'd been having some problems sleeping lately. Don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger to restless nights, but these were different. Normally I can't sleep because I don't want to have dreams of my past. But lately, my problem wasn't my past, it was my present. Clary to be exact. She was the most annoying, beautiful, self-riotous, talented, moody, delicate person I had ever met, and I was loosing sleep over her.

I turned off the water and wiped my self off with a towel and put on my clothes. A pair of blue denim, white t-shirt, and a pair of black converse. I walked out of the bathroom and jogged down the stairs and headed to the kitchen. From the smell of it, Izzy had not cooked, thank the Angel. Izzy was good at a many things, but that girl burns microwave burritos. I grabbed a plate down from the cupboard and grabbed two eggs, two pieces of bacon, and two pieces of toast. I sat down at the table and poured some OJ, that was left on the table, into a glass that had already been set out.

Everyone was at the table by now eating, except for Clary. "Hey," voicing my question. "Where's Fray?"

They all turned to me. "We thought she was with you." Izzy said.

"Why the hell would she be with me?" I asked. Izzy gave me a look that said, 'Don't play dumb'

"Well she's obviously not with me, so where is she."

"Maybe she's sick," suggested Alec.

"Someone should go check on her." Izzy said, getting out of her chair.

"Wait," I said. "If she's sick she wont want to be disturbed."

"Yeah, but what if she just overslept?" Izzy quistioned.

"Oh come on, Fray? Oversleeping? I don't think so. Let's just leave her in peace."

"Maybe I should bang a pot next to her head and yell really loud." Max chimed in unhelpfully.

"Fine" She finally conceded, sitting back in her seat to finish her breakfast. When everyone was finished I announced that it was time to go and I grabbed my leather jacket, aviator sunglasses and my bag. We had all finally piled into the car, Alec driving, which makes sense because it's his car, but still cheezes me off, when Clary came bounding down the porch steps and into the seat behind me. _Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap_, I thought, _she is gonna be pissed_.

"Just made it I see." Izzy chimed in as Alec pulled out of the driveway.

"Um, yeah, I forgot to set my alarm. How come none of you came and woke me up?" Clary said awkwardly. Great, just my luck, the one time I try and do something nice for her, and the impeccable Fray sleeps in.

"We figured you didn't feel good and were staying home." Izzy said.

"Ah, I see. Well next time let's check, just to be sure." Clary said as if she was talking to a baby.

"We were going to, but Jace said that if you were sick, you wouldn't want to be disturbed." Izzy chimed in. Great, now she's gonna throw a bitch fit.

"Thanks a lot Jace," Her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I almost missed school because of you."

And there it is. I turned around in my seat so I could look at her. Even though she was a little ruffled from hurrying, she still looked amazing. In fact her slightly tousled curls made her look sexy, even. I didn't voice this out loud, though, what I said in reality was, "Yes because that would be a tragedy. And for your information, I was trying to do something nice for you."

This brought her up short. Good. "Well, don't do it again." She finally said in a defeated voice.

"What, something nice for you?" I asked incredulously. "Fine, next time I think your sick, I'll have Max come running in there banging on a pot with a spoon yelling at you to get up." I said, recalling the earlier conversation at breakfast.

"Jerk-off" Was all she said.

I turned even more directly to her and was just about to tell her that she probably thought about me jerking-off, when I caught Izzy's eye. She conveyed a message to me with her eyes that reminded my of our earlier conversation. _"You know if you stopped being such a douche to her, I'd bet she'd talk to you."_ I quickly shut my mouth and turned around in my seat. "Yeah and when exactly does she start talking to me?" I mumbled quietly enough that I knew that no one would here me.

We pulled up to the school, and of course had to park as far away as possible, because we were running late. Which I guess was good in hindsight, seeing as Clary was able to catch us before we left.

We piled out of the car and Alec quickly shuffled off, probably to go make out with his sparkly boyfriend in the janitor's closet or something. Izzy, Clary, and I started to make our way to the building together, until Iz spotted Simon and ran off to meet him. How she did that in high heels I will never understand. That left me and Clary to fill in the space. _Wonderful,_ I thought to myself.

"Do you think they'll be serving mystery meat, or last weeks tacos?" I finally asked in a sad attempt to make conversation.

"I don't know, I usually pack lunch so I- Oh shit." She said totally pulling a face-palm fail move. I stopped mid-stride. _Oh no_, my insecure little voice squeaked, _did she realize that she was having a normal convo with me and is totally disgusted with herself?_ Don't be stupid, that would never happen, pull yourself together, you sound like such a girl.

With that little Sargent pep talking going through my mind I asked, "What?"

"Nothing, just in my rush to get out the door this morning, I forgot to pack lunch."

Despite my talking to, I still sighed in relief, and I started walking again. "Oh that's all, you can just share with me." I said before I could think about what I was saying. I have really got to start working on that whole thinking before speaking thing.

Now it was her turn to stop. "You would share your lunch with me?" She asked me with- _Were those Bambi eyes? _This girl is trying to kill me.

"Um, well, yeah." I said nervously. This is so stupid, I do not get nervous, I'm Jace Wayland, I am _the _Alpha male_. _Yeah, that's right, people grovel before me! And I will have a normal conversation with Clary, if it's the last thing I do.

"Just out of the kindness of your heart?" She asked warily.

"Contrary to common belief Fray, I do have a heart. And there is kindness in it." Whoa, where did that come from?

"Well if there is, I've never seen it." She said walking again.

Mayday, Mayday, I'm screwing this up, quick make up for it. "Sure you have, you saw just now. When I offered to share my lunch with you." Ouch, I don't think that came out like it did in my head.

"You'll have to forgive me Jace, but since you've been making my life hell since I moved here, so I'm a little bit wary that you would all of sudden start being nice to me." She said. Had I really been making her life a hell? I knew I didn't make it easy, but I didn't know I was totally ruining it for her. Damn, I really am an ass.

"Look, Clary, people have changes of heart all the time. It's really not all that uncommon, in fact were reading about one in English." Not knowing where it was coming from, but deciding to go with it because it sounded good.

"And that's what this is, Jace. A change of heart?" She asked.

"What else would it be?" I asked. Maybe she thought I was yanking her chain. Angel how I wanted to just tell her what was going on, that I wanted to be her friend. _Yeah, just a friend, right_, a pesky little sarcastic voice said. _Who the hell are you, Jimminy Cricket_, I thought back. Crap I'm having another conservation with myself. I really needed a cat scan. We finally arrived at the building and walked off toward our classes. School went as to be expected, lots of dosing off in class, and lots of teachers handing me detention that I wouldn't go to anyway. The only really good part was lunch, when I shared my lunch with Clary, as promised. Simon and Alec gave us funny looks at that. However Iz kept smirking at me and even winked a couple of times. Way to be subtle Iz why didn't you just post it on your head that you were helping me tell Clary that I lov- Oh shit.

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**Did Jace finally realize that he was in love with Clary? Will Clary return his feelings? And will we get to read more about Jace in the shower?**

**Find out next time on WWTSCO? lol I hoped you guys loved it, and yes I know that Jace sounds a little crazy but you would be **

**to if you had the sorted past he did *wink, wink*  
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	4. Chapter 4

**First off I'd like to give a shout out to all my peeps who have been leaving**

**the wicked ass reviews! I have been, how you say, inspired by you.**

**So thank you kind Gents and Ladies!**

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CPOV

I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes. I was so tired today, what with getting up late and having to sit through class after class of teachers droning on about God knows what. Of course there's also Jace, who all of a sudden decided to be nice to me. He was confusing before, but now, just thinking about him makes my head spin.

Just then there was a knock at the door, and Jace walked in. _Speak of the devil and he shall appear, _I thought humorlessly.

Before he even got a chance to speak I said, "Look, Jace, I'm tired and I don't want to fight right now so, if you'll please," I said pointing to the door, closing my eyes again.

Instead he walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. I didn't think he was going anywhere so I sat up in my bed. He stared at me for a long time with that stupid smirk on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes. In fact he did it for so long that I was just about to ask him if he had recently become a mute when he spoke up.

"Come on a walk with me." He said smoothly.

I did a double take. "What?" I asked confused.

"Come-on-a-walk-with-me." He said slowly like he was talking to a mentally retarded person.

"Yeah I heard you the first time jackass. I just don't understand why you would ask me something like that."

"You know we've lived in the same house for six years and all we know about each other is that neither of us have parents. Don't you think that's a little odd?" He asked out of nowhere.

"I would if you hadn't refused to talk to me beyond calling me stupid."

"Well now I'd like to talk to you without calling you stupid. Unless you like that, in which case I can think of a lot of colorful ways to call you stupid. Moronic, Idiot, retard, dumbass-"

"No Jace, that's okay, I don't want you to call me stupid," I said shooting him a look that said I thought he was stupid.

"Then it's settled, we'll go on a walk."

"Whoa, I didn't agree to go with you." I said outraged.

"So I was thinking we would go after Mayrse and Robert leave for dinner."

"Look Jace-"

He got up and walked out my door saying as he left, "See you at dinner."

~X~X~X~

We all watched as Mayrse and Robert walked out the door telling us to be good and that they would be out late. We all walked back to the kitchen and put our dishes away. I tried to finish as quickly as possible, but Jace still finished before me and was waiting for me by the front door. When I did finish, I tried to slip away to my room, but I had no such luck.

"Oh Clary," He sang from the front door. "You didn't forget about our plans did you?"

I thanked God that no one was in here. "Of course not," I said turning around and heading toward him as slowly as possible.

He opened the door with a wide sweeping motion. "Then let us go."

I didn't say anything and just walked through the door. He followed me out and we walked down the street for awhile until I noticed that I didn't know where we were going. I stopped and turned to him. "Where are we going?"

"Oh," He said nonchalantly. "Nowhere particular." I stared at him and he just walked past me. I stared at his back for a little until I realized what I was doing and ran after him.

When I reached him I asked, "So you said you wanted to know me better right? What do you want to know?"

"Everything," He said simply. I mulled over this for awhile. He was asking for a lot, I haven't told anyone everything there was to me. Not Izzy, or even Simon, so why would I tell Jace? Why would I spill my guts to someone who already hates them anyway. _Maybe that's why_, I thought, _He already hates me so I don't have to worry about him judging me._

I don't know if that made sense or not, but it didn't have to because it was enough to get me talking. "My favorite color is yellow because I loved Big Bird, when I was young." I started and then I couldn't stop. "My middle name is Jane, because my mother loves Jane Austen. My favorite class is art, but I hate my art teacher, because she's always trying to dictate how we draw. My favorite food is sushi," And it went on and on like that I told him as much as I could, but I definitely, there's no way I could tell him all of it. I don't know if I'd ever be able to tell anyone all of it.

By the time I finished talking we had wondered into a park. Jace led me over to an old swing set. "So I've told you a lot about me, but I still don't know anything about you," I said.

"There really isn't a lot to know," He said.

"How 'bout we start with why you hate me, that seems as good a place as any," I said, needing to know and seeing the opportunity.

"Oh, that, well I already mentioned that, that was complicated."

"And I already said that you could simplify it."

"There is no simple answer, Clary."

"So give me the long one, and don't make that into anything!" I said noticing the slip in my speech that Jace was sure to make into something sexual.

"Oh come on, I wouldn't do it so much if you didn't make it so damn easy."

I didn't even dignify that with an answer, I just waited for him to answer my original question.

"Well the first part of this is easy, when you first moved in, I mean." He said a little awkwardly. I just sat there and looked at him, it was my turn to listen and his turn to talk. "I had been living with Mayrse and Robert for five years when you moved in, and I was still scared that they were going to kick me out. After five years, can you believe that? Anyway when they told me that you were coming, I, well, I just," He started to fumble with his words and wonder what the in the world could make Jace Wayland fumble over words.

Finally he was able to spit it out, "I was jealous. I thought you were coming to steal my new family away and I couldn't stand it. It wasn't your fault, Clary, I hated you before you even showed up. It was stupid, I know," He finished.

"It wasn't stupid, Jace," Whoa, did I really just say that? I guess I did. "You were ten years old and you didn't have any parents, not really. If are positions had been switched, I would have been jealous too."

He looked at me and something passed in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. That had been happening a lot lately. Jace giving me funny looks that I couldn't figure out.

I was glad I he told me that, but there was still something that I wanted to know. "But you must have figured out that I wasn't there to steal your family, so how come you still treated me like crap?"

He looked away from me, like he was embarrassed. Jace, embarrassed, no, that's impossible. But there he was sheepishly looking away from me.

"Oh," He started still not looking at me. "A number of reasons I guess. One was that I was just used to it."

"So what your saying is, your a jerk-off to me on a regular basis, because you were used to it?" I asked a little incredulously.

"Well that's not all of it I also-" He suddenly cut off and looked down. He did that for a long time refusing to look at me. Finally he said, "It's getting late we better go." And he stood up. I didn't push whatever it was he was going to say, I had already got a lot more out of him than I had expected.

We walked back to the house in silence, but it wasn't awkward. It was comfortable, I didn't feel any need to fill in the gap, and apparently neither did he. Finally we got into the house and we walked up the stairs. We reached my bedroom first, because mine was closest to the stairs. I opened the door and I turned to Jace.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked sheepishly.

"Yeah I suppose so." I looked back at him once more and then went into my room and shut the door. _What just happened?_

JPOV

I stood there for a long time just staring at her door. I could not believe that just happened. I walked down the hall to my room and walked in. The clock said that it was already 10:30 pm., but I was still wired. We had talked, really just talked. No fighting, or yelling, just a normal conversation between the two of us.

I walked over to my window and looked outside, staring down at the path me and Clary had walked down. As I looked, something caught my eye. There was a shadowed figure sitting on a bench on the other side of the institute. He had his head in his hands, but he kept looking up to stare at the house, just to look back down again. Did he want to come here? _Maybe he was homeless and just wanted to come in here to warm up_, I thought.

_Oh well_, I thought, and I walked away from the window. I went over to my bed and laid back down on it, putting my hands behind my head. I stared up at my ceiling and thought about Clary. What exactly was I trying to accomplish from this. Did I want to be her friend? More? Maybe I just wanted dirt on her so I could make her life even more of a hell. I don't think that was it though. Finally a wave of exhaustion hit me and I fell asleep to thoughts of Clary.

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**So I decided to leave this one off and a sweet note and I know it wasn't as funny as they usually are**

**but you gots to understand! It was time for a little fluff! So I hope you liked it and be sure to keep lots reviews,**

**because those are what make me want to update ;D  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay guy this chapter is like super long, and sorry if you hate that and**

**your welcome it you love that. I've been reading your reviews and I'd like to thank all of you**

**and I'd like to tell you that I will be doing a little more hate and a little **

**less love in this chapter so here goes...**

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JPOV

_My mother and I walked through the door with our hands full of groceries, and quickly carried them to the kitchen. Mom asked me to go close the door while she put away the cold stuff. I ran over to the door and shut it without looking and was turning back toward the kitchen, when the door burst open. I looked over in shock to see my father, fuming in the doorway._

_ "Want to explain to me why the hell you just slammed the door in your father's face?" He yelled at me. _

_ "I'm sorry, Daddy, I didn't see you." I said tentatively._

_ "So you just ran up to the door and shut it without even looking, is that what your telling me?" By now his voice was booming, and I was slowly shrinking into myself, trying to make myself smaller._

_ I was just about to answer when my mother came in from the kitchen. "Darling," She started warily. "I'm sure Jace didn't mean to, there's really nothing to get upset about."_

_ "Nothing to get upset about," He exclaimed. "There's a fucking hoard of reasons to be upset right now! I come home from working all day, just to give this little runt a roof over his head, and how does he repay me, Cecile? He slams the fucking door in my face!" My father was really getting worked up now. It was bad when daddy came home like this, I remember what happens when daddy comes home like this._

_ "Sweety, he really didn't mean it," Then my mother turns to me. "Jace tell your father your sorry."_

_ I look up at him from underneath my wild hair that had grown over my eyes. "I'm sorry daddy."_

_ This just seemed to piss him off even more. "Oh your sorry, well whoopdey fucking doo. Now I fell so much better," He said sarcastically._

_ My mother interjected before he could go on. "Steven, don't talk to our son that way." _

_ "Oh that's rich, 'Don't talk to our son that way,'" He said mimicking my mother's voice. "Bullshit Cecile, I bet he's not even mine anyway, you get around. Besides, I think its about damn time _your _son started growing up."_

_ "Don't be ridiculous Steven, of course he's yours. And _our_ child is only four-years-old. Do you really expect him to grow up right here and now?" My mother asked incredulously. At this point it was pretty much a screaming match between my parents so I tried to slip out of the room, but my father caught me by the shoulder and turned me around ruffly._

_ "No, no, your not going anywhere, you should see this. What life is really like. It's not like in your precious little Disney movies that you waste your time watching. You don't get to live happily ever after, with your true love. You want to see real love, Jace? This is it," He said gesturing between my mother and himself. "It's just a bunch of yelling and pain. You want some advice son? Don't ever fall in love, it will make you weak. Love only brings you one thing and that is pain. Love is a load of hypocritical bullshit, that is glorified by a bunch of scamming ass-holes. And don't you ever forget it!" He finished. By this time he was squatting in front of me and gripping my shoulders painfully tight._

_ My mother pulled him off me and told him that they would finish this discussion later. My father mumbled something like whore and stalked out of the room, walked to his den, and slammed the door._

I sat up in my bed and crazily looked around my room. It was bathed in cool moonlight and everything was still and quiet. _It was just a dream_, I it wasn't, not really. Yes I had just had a dream, but what I had dreamed about was real. That scene where my father told me the most heart-breaking truth about the world. At the time I hadn't thought much about it, I just wanted to know what the frig hypocritical meant.

Later though, not even a whole year had passed, and all of sudden it made sense. On the day that my mother died. On the day that my mother was killed by my father. My dad had come home one day and walked straight up the stairs to my parents room. I followed him up because I was an innocent five year old and I just wanted to know why my dad was in such a hurry.

I wouldn't stay innocent for long, though, because when I went up there I saw the most horrific sight. I quietly opened my parents door just in time to see my dad pull the trigger to kill my mother and then put the gun to his own head and send a bullet flying into it.

Later, after the investigation was all wrapped up and the nice social worker lady took me away in her car, I finally got it. What my dad had been telling me. I had loved my parents and they died, and now I was left with nothing. I had let them in and now I was broken and hurt. _Never again_, I decided. _Never again would I let someone in._

And so far that has worked, I haven't let a single soul in since, and I haven't once gotten my heart broken. My dad only had one thing wrong, my life was like one Disney movie. _Bambi_, I thought bitterly.

I realized at that moment that I was making a huge fucking mistake. I was letting Clary in and she was just going to break my heart. No I won't let that happen. And just like that I had once again hardened my heart.

~X~X~X~

CPOV

I woke up the next morning with a sense of warmth and comfort. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled up closer in my bed and stayed that way for as long as I could. Finally though I had to get up, or else Max would barge in here and do the waking for me.

I sat up in my bed and stretched, that typical movie stretch, where my arms are stretched high above my head. First coming together, then spreading in a Y form, and then finally coming down to rest by my sides. I looked at my window with warm sunlight pooling in through my lime green, slightly transparent, curtains.

I slid out of my comfy bed, much to my dismay, and started to walk over to my dresser to pull out some clothes for the day. That's when I noticed that I was wearing the same clothes as I was yesterday. And that's when images of yesterday night came flooding into my head. My walk with Jace to the park. _I wonder what that was all about anyway_. Either way I was surprised to find that I was happy that it happened. That I had sort of opened up to Jace and he had sort of opened up to me.

I grabbed the clothes from the dresser, a pair of jeans and a plain green v-neck. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom, happy that it was Saturday and I could take my time in the shower. I locked the door, and then quickly stripped and turned on the water. I slipped into the shower and started to shampoo my hair. As I ran through the normal routine I let my mind wander, and of course it wandered head first into thoughts of Jace.

About a million questions went through my mind. Will he act differently toward me? Am I suppose to act differently toward him? Are we going to tell the others about last night? Are we going to act like nothing happened? What exactly did happen?

All these questions swam around in my head, but answers to them remained unseen. I gave up on trying to answer them after I finished my shower. I dried myself off and slipped into my clothes. I brushed my hair out long and good and then wrapped it up in a messy bun. _I'll just have to let the chips fall where they may_, I thought as I stepped out of the bathroom.

And it looks as if they'll be falling soon because just then Jace came bounding up the steps, dressed in workout clothes. I could tell he had already done his workout, because I could see the sweat dripping from his hair. His white t-shirt clung to his body enough that I could see the tight muscles hiding underneath. For a moment I just admired the way his muscles constricted and released as he moved. He looked amazingly sexy, and I'm talking put Brad Pitt to shame sexy.

_Wait a minute_, _lets just stop the Jace is sexy bus and back track a little. Since when is Jace sexy? Okay dumb question, but since when have _I_ thought he was sexy?_

I was pulled out of my little inner monologue when I felt someone brush past me. It was Jace, he had walked past me without even acknowledging my existence. I quickly turned to seem him walking briskly down the hall.

"Hey Jace," I called out to him, but he was already gone. _Maybe the chips weren't ready to fall_, I thought to myself.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where I found Max sitting at the table, looking extremely depressed. I pulled up a chair next to him and asked him what was wrong.

"Izzy wants to cook breakfast and I'm really hungry," He whined.

Izzy turned around from where she was standing at the stove. With spatula in hand, "You know I am capable of making something as simple as eggs, you know." Then she turned back to the stove.

"Yeah, maybe in an easybake oven," I whispered to Max, and he cracked up.

"I heard that," Izzy chimed in, not even bothering to look around this time.

"Heard what?" Asked Alec as he walked in.

"Oh, nothing, I was just making fun of Izzy's cooking," I said.

Alec groaned. "Iz, you know we love you, but you've got to stop cooking, your going to kill us one day," Alec said as nicely as possible.

"You say this now, but you haven't even tried my eggs yet. And with that she spooned some eggs onto plates and brought two over to Max and me, and then went back to get Alec's. I stared in dismay at the poor excuse for food sitting in front of me.

We all just stared at our plates until Izzy finally said, "Well, why don't you dig in?"

"Well," I started. "No offense Iz, but mine are burnt to hell and I'm pretty sure that if Max ate his, he'd get salmonella poisoning."

"What?" She asked incredulously and went over to where Max was sitting and inspected the eggs. "I don't see anything wrong with them," She said and picked up a piece and popped it in her mouth. She started to turn green and she ran over to the sink and spit out the slimy piece of breakfast.

"Quick, call poison control," I heard a voice chime in from behind me. I turned around to see who else than Jace, standing in the doorway. I just stared at him for a little bit, whereas he refused to look at me.

Izzy finished spitting up her concoction and left the room in a huff. "To go brush my teeth," she said as she left.

There was an awkward silence after that until, finally, I hopped up from my seat and announced that I was going to get some cereal. I got out bowls for everyone and put them on the table, then I got down all the cereal we had which consisted of Froot Loops, Special K, and Cocoa Pebbles. I went over to the fridge and took out the milk and put it on the table.

I poured myself a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles, and poured Max a bowl of Froot Loops. I had just poured the milk into both our bowels when I noticed we were missing something.

Jace apparently noticed to, because he decided now would be a great time to start talking to me again. "Smooth move Sherlock. What, were you gonna eat them with your hands. I mean I guess you could, but it would be really hard to get the milk _and_ the cereal in your mouth at once. And really what kind of example would we be setting for the children?" He asked as he feigned seriousness.

"So I forgot one thing, your lucky I even got you anything in the first place," I said defiantly.

"Well next time do us a favor and don't, because your just going to fu-" He cut himself short when he caught sight of Max. "Screw it up anyway." He finished.

"I wouldn't have a chance to screw it up if you got off your lazy-ass and actually got something for yourself, would I?" I asked really getting riled up now. Why was he being such a dick.

"Fine," He said and got up, walked deliberately to the drawer, carefully opened it, picked out a spoon, strode back over to the table and sat down. "There, now I've done something for myself, happy?"

"Ecstatic," I said as I got up and got the rest of us spoons and brought them back. I passed one to Max and another to Alec. We ate in silence after that. Izzy finally came back down and she quickly caught drift of the mood in the room, and poured herself a bowl of Special K in silence. Finally I finished and I brought mine and Max's bowls to the sink and dumped them. I walked up the stairs ready to go scream at my pillow that this was all its fault when, much to my dismay, Max followed me up.

"Hey Clary?" He asked.

I sighed. "Yeah Max?"

"Can we do something today, I mean its Saturday and I have, like, nothing to do." He said in one big jumble of words, that I wouldn't have been able to make out if I hadn't been used to his nine-year-old-talk.

I wanted to say no, I wanted to go in my room and slam the door a couple times, but as I looked into those cute little Bambi eyes, I just couldn't say no.

I let out a gust of air, "Yeah, alright, what do you want to do?"

"Oh, um..." He put his little finger to his chin and looked up in thought. "I know we can go to the comic book store!" He exclaimed.

I smiled at this, even though I was a teenage girl, I loved comic books. Probably one of the reasons Simon is my best friend. "Okay, that's sounds perfect, let me just grab some shoes and a jacket, alright?" I said starting to walk into my room.

"Okay, lemme just go to tell Jace," He said and he turned around to leave, but I caught him by the shoulder.

"Why would you do that, Max?" I asked.

"So that he can come with us of course," He said in his best 'Duh' voice. That was the only problem with Max, he looked up to Jace, and really that's not the best to look at, seeing as his head is so far up his ass.

"Max, I don't think Jace would want to go to a comic book store," I started as I saw Max's face fall. "But I bet Simon would," I added.

"Okay," He said, getting excited again.

"Okay, let me just tell him, alright? He'll meet us there," I said and with that, I walked into my room and shut the door. I could here max bound down the steps and I hoped to God he was not going to invite Jace. I don't know what was going on in that perfectly fucked up head of his, but I didn't want to have to worry about it. I pulled on my sneakers and grabbed a light, plain gray jacket, and got my phone from my nightstand and texted Simon.

**C: Hey meet me&max at cmic store, 20min**

** S: y?**

** C: Cuz I got to take max sumwhr & if I suffer, u suffer**

** S: How do u figure**

** C: easy u=best friend, best friend=suffers w/me**

** S: is tht so?**

** C: yes thts so**

** S: thn ill meet u in 20**

** C: k**

I finished my conversation with Simon and walked out of my room. Max was down stairs waiting for me. "Alright Max you ready to go?" I asked with a big smile.

"Yup, Jace is waiting for us outside," He said all innocent like and then was out the door in a flash. My big smile just turned into pill of dung. I walked out the door and there he was in all his damn glory.

"Max I told you, Jace wouldn't want to come to a comic store, you really shouldn't have asked," I said as I tried to keep my voice under control.

"Oh, I didn't," He said. "I just told him where we were going and he asked if he could come, and I said sure."

Finally I turned to Jace, "Really Jace, you don't have to go if you don't want to, or even if you do. In fact I'll pay you to not come," I said pleadingly.

"Ah, but then how would you pay for Max's comic books?" He asked with that stupid cocky grin.

"Simon will be there, he can pay," I said quickly.

"But then what money would he have to spend on Iz. I mean I'm only guessing here, but I imagine dating her can't be the cheapest thing in the world." I figured out by now that this was hopeless. Jace wanted to go, and when Jace wanted something, nothing in the world could stop him.

"Fine, let's get going. I told Simon we would meet him in twenty minutes."

"Oh, yes, and we mustn't keep your lap dog waiting," He said as he started to walk down the street, with Max on his shoulders.

I started after him, "Simon is not my lap dog, he's my best friend."

"A best friend that would jump off a freaking building, just because you asked him to," He said.

"I would never ask Simon to jump of a building for any reason. You on the other hand, I would _push_ off, just for the funsies of it," I said really starting to get pissed off now. This is not how I had wanted my day to go

"Would you two just quite it already!" Max yelled at us unexpectedly.

"I'm sorry Max, it's not my fault Fray's a frigid bitch who can't take a joke," He said matter-of-factly.

"And it's not my fault that Wayland is a stubborn asshole who doesn't know when to shut up," I said right back.

"Ugh!" Was all Max was able to get out. We walked in silence for about a block until Max finally spoke up. "Can we go to the one with the funny name?" He asked.

"You mean Seelie Court?" I asked.

"Yeah that one," He said excitedly.

"Sure," I said. I quickly texted Simon to tell him which one, and he said that he had figured it would be that one and was already on his way. I put the phone back in pocket.

"Have a nice chat with lap dog?" Jace asked.

"Would you stop calling him that?" I practically screamed at him.

"Why does it upset you?" He asked in that cocky way of his.

"As a matter of fact, it actually pisses my off to no end," I said through gritted teeth.

"Good," Was all he said. We finally made it to the Seelie Court and walked in to see Simon already scoping out the place. Jace put Max down and let him roam. I walked over to Simon to see what he was looking at. We started talking about the pros and cons of this series versus that series and it was all good, until I noticed Jace standing by the front door awkwardly.

I smirked at that and shouted his way, "Not sure what to do with yourself there, Wayland?" I asked, loving the fact that his face was contorted in a mask of confusion.

"I know exactly what to do with myself, and that's get out of here before I get caught with you dorks," He said, though it was half-hearted because he was still trying to get his bearings on his new surrounding.

"Hey, comic books aren't for dorks!" Max said creeping out from behind one of the shelves.

"Of course not, Max, I was just kidding," He said immediately backtracking. I shot him a look that said I was loving this all to much, but to be careful not to hurt Max's feelings. We finally picked out our comics, and payed for them up front. When we walked out Jace noticeably relaxed.

"That was just to funny," Simon said.

"What?" Jace asked.

"The way your face soured up as soon as you got in there. Like you were in some foreign country that you had forgotten to take the shots for," Simon said.

"And how he kept looking around as if something was going to pop up and scare him," I said between laughs.

"Priceless," Simon chimed in.

"Well I'm glad you guys had fun. However I think I'll be going home now." He turned to leave but Max caught his hand.

"Wait, you can't leave," He whined at him.

"I'm sorry, Max-" He started but I cut him off.

"Actually we all better be going home Max," I said.

"Yeah," Simon said. "I've actually have to meet someone soon so..."

At this Jace completely turned around to face us. "What, do you need to go play lap dog for Izzy now?" He asked nastily. I couldn't believe this, I knew Jace wasn't particularly nice to Simon, but he had always left his and Izzy's relationship alone. If only for the sake of Izzy.

I voiced my surprise, "How dare you, Jace. That is none of you business!"

"Oh the hell it isn't!" He shot back. "Iz is my sister and I have every right to make sure lap dog over there is worth it."

"Oh like you give a shit, I bet you never-" I was cut off when Simon whispered something that I barely even noticed. "What did you say, Simon?" I asked trying to control my temper when I was talking to him.

"I said, You knew. You all knew about us," The last one was more of a question and he looked up at me with pleading eyes. Asking me to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn't.

"Yes, Simon, we knew," I started. "But it's okay, really. You guys didn't have to hide it in the first place," I put my hand on his forearm. "Really I'm okay with it."

"Then why didn't you tell me, or Isabelle? If you knew then you should have told us. That way we wouldn't have had to hide it anymore," He said quietly. Whenever Simon was really mad or upset he would always get really quiet. And I could tell he was angry because he was making cotton balls sound extremely loud.

"I thought you were happier that way," I said in my sooth-the-pissed-person-voice.

This time Simon spoke up. "Happier? You think it made us happy sneaking around behind our best friends back?" He asked incredulously.

"Well I did, until you put it that way. Look I'm really sorry Simon. To you and to Izzy," I said trying to fix this.

"I just wished you would have told us," Simon said looking away now.

"Like you told the rest of us about you guys," Jace finally spoke up. Damn it, I hoped he'd learned a lesson and just shut his trap.

"That was different," Simon said defensively. "We were trying to protect Clary. We thought that maybe it would be weird if she knew that her best friends were going out. We didn't want to make her feel like a third wheel," He finished.

"Maybe I didn't need protecting Simon!" I yelled, knowing it was just making it worse, but I couldn't help it. "You know I'm not some fragile flower that you have to protect all the time. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."

"I didn't know you felt that way," Was all he said.

"Well I do," Was all _I _said.

"I'd think I'd better go, I'll see you later Clary," He turned toward the others. "It was nice seeing you Max," He completely ignored Jace and then left. Just like that.

"I hope your happy Jace," I said.

"Oh I'm thrilled. It's about time he manned up and owned up to it," He said angrily.

I didn't say anything I just grabbed a hold of Max's hand and started to steer him away. "Come on Max, let's go,"

He didn't even complain, he just grabbed a hold of my hand and started to walk back to the Institute with me. Jace didn't say anything, but I could hear him following us from behind.

When we got back to the institute, Max went up to his room to go read his new comic books, and I made a beeline for my room. Trying to keep in the tears in 'til I got there. Before I could though, Jace caught me.

"You know it really is for the better," He said behind me.

I put my hand on the doorknob, "For who Jace?" And then I walked into my room and shut the door.

* * *

**Intense I know, but it's all for the better I promise.**

**I know this chapter was super long but if you'll please be so kind as to leave some reviews**

**I will be happy to comply with your needs as pertaining to this story.**

**In other words, you want it, you got it ;)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright this chapter is either going to make you ecstatic or really piss you off.**

**Which is why I love it so much ;) One thing you'll all be happy about, though, is**

**that it is long! It took forever to write but here it is. **

**Also I don't own anything that has to do with the Mortal Instruments so, um, yeah.**

**Also you guys should listen to Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer because it's really good**

**and I think it kind of fits the situation.**

**

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**

CPOV

I woke up to the sound of The Only Exception by Paraomore going off near my head. I slipped one eye open, from where I was lying on my bed, to see my phone buzzing and lighting up. I slowly reached out and clicked the alarm off. _God how I loathe Mondays_.

I kicked off my covers, so there was no going back to sleep, and slowly sat up. I had, had a bad weekend and the last thing I wanted to do was go to school. Simon still refused to return my calls or texts and when I went to his house, his mother said he wasn't feeling well. Bull shit, he just didn't want to talk to me. _And why should he?_

I pushed aside my thoughts and rolled out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans off the floor and grabbed a dark blue t-shirt that had a pretty black flower design on the bottom, left-hand corner. I really liked the shirt, but I didn't wear it a lot because it always depressed me, however, seeing as I'm already depressed anyway, it seemed appropriate. I had taken a shower the night before so I just slipped out of my pj's and into my clothes. I put on a pair of navy blue high-tops and left my room and went to the bathroom.

I took my brush off the counter and slowly ran it through my hair. There were plenty of knots in it because I was tossing and turning in my bed all night. No matter how many times I brushed my hair though, it refused to cooperate, so it ended up in a braid. After that I brushed my teeth and did other such hygienic things until I was decent.

Eventually I made the slow decent down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. I was the first one down, since I had taken my shower last night. Max wasn't even down yet. I grabbed the bread out of the pantry and slowly opened it up. I grabbed two pieces out and put them in the toaster and pushed the lever down. While my bread was toasting I closed up the bread and put it back in the pantry. Then I grabbed the _I can't believe it's not butter _out of the fridge and set it on the counter next to the toaster. I grabbed knife out of the drawer and set it atop of the butter. Finally I grabbed a cutting board out from behind the toaster and set it down next to the toaster.

After all of that my toast still hadn't come out yet so I went over to the fridge and got out the half of my subway sandwich that we had, had for dinner last night and put it in a paper sack for lunch. I was just grabbing an apple to put in there when the toast popped up. I jumped at the sound of it, but managed to keep my hold on the apple. I quickly put it in the paper sack and went over to the toaster and buttered my bread.

Once I deemed my toast a-okay to eat, I sat down at the table and started to nibble on one of my pieces. Finally I heard the familiar hustle and bustle of the morning and soon after Max bounded down the steps and into the kitchen.

"Hey Clary," He said happily.

"How's it going Max?" I asked, brightening up a little when I saw that cute little nine-year-old's face.

"Oh really good, those comics we got are wicked cool," He said excitedly

"Really?" I asked. "Wicked cool?"

"Totally."

"Good, I'm glad your enjoying them. Now what do you want for breakfast?"

"Froot Loops, but I can get it Clary," He said.

"Is that so?" I asked a little amused.

"Yeah, I mean I'm in the fourth grade Clary. I'm practically a grown up," He said as he grabbed a bowl down from the cupboard.

"You must be if your using words like practically," And with that I watched as Max got all the stuff down for his cereal and slowly poured himself a bowl. I finished one of my pieces of toast and was starting on the next one when Alec came down.

"Hey Alec, guess what?" Max asked through a mouthful of cereal.

"What?" Alec asked.

"Chicken butt!" Max exclaimed and then broke up laughing.

"I would have never guessed that," Alec said as he got his own breakfast together.

"I know," Max said. "That's why it's so funny."

"What's so funny?" Jace asked as he walked into the kitchen. I purposely avoided having to even catch a glimpse of him and he apparently did the same to me.

"I asked Alec guess what and when he asked what, I said chicken butt," This of course sent Max into another fit of laughter.

"You know Max," Jace said. "You really shouldn't laugh at that when certain persons in the room," He paused to look at me pointedly. "Actually have a chicken butt."

I was going to make a snarky remark about Jace looking at my butt in the first place, but to my utter surprise, Max beat me to it.

"I thought you liked Clary's butt," Max said innocently. "You sure do look at it a lot." He said looking up in thought, as if recalling all the times he caught Jace looking at my butt. This of course caused me to go into a fit of laughter that seemed to never end. My side eventually started to hurt, but I could not stop myself from laughing, it was just too much. I literally thought I was going to lapse into a laughing coma.

"Thank you, Max, for that observation. However you should now that if I ever to look at Fray's butt, it was to try and figure out how anybody's butt could so closely resemble that of a chicken's."'

"You can try to redeem yourself all you want, but the fact is Wayland, you were looking at my butt," I said smugly, full of much satisfaction.

"Whatever, chicken butt," He said and went back to making his breakfast.

I was starting to feel better and thought maybe the day wouldn't suck, when Izzy entered the kitchen, and I came down from that dream real fast. Iz wasn't as mad at me as Simon was, but she was still hurt.

"Hey Izzy," I said tentatively

"Good morning, Clary," She said very formally. At least she was talking to me.

I finished my toast and wiped my face off with the napkin and threw it away. I grabbed my bag and threw my lunch inside. I made some excuse about putting my bag in the car and quickly left the kitchen. Once I made out into the New York air and free of that tension filled atmosphere, I felt a weight being pulled off my shoulder.

Which was immediately replaced when the door opened and Jace stepped out. I decided my best line of defense was to completely ignore him. I walked to the car and put my bag in, and slipped in after it. Of course Jace walked up the car and put his bag on the floor of the car and sat down in shotgun.

After a _very_ awkward silence Jace spoke up, "So how come you didn't snag shotgun?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Because I knew you'd throw a bitch fit," I said simply.

I heard him suck in a breath to say something, but he just blew it out and mumbled, "Yeah, probably." We sat there until the others came and piled into the car. The ride to school was pretty much silent, except for the occasionally groan of the car as it lurched to a stop at a stop sign or two. We arrived on time today, so we got a space up front and once everyone was out, I quickly made my way to the building. I really didn't want to deal with them right now.

I walked down the halls of Iris High and quickly reached my locker. I opened it and put my stuff in it, grabbed my bio book out and closed it. And I almost had a heart attack. Why you ask. Because Sebastian Verlac was standing on the other side of it staring down at me with a wicked smile. It definitely didn't compare to Jace's, that could melt a girl on sight, but it definitely made a girl swoon.

"Hello Clary," He said while still smiling. What, what did he say?

"Hi Sebastian," I said quietly while looking at my feet.

"How have you been?" He said, totally comfortable with the whole situation while I on the other hand, was trying desperately to figure out how to speak English again.

"Oh, um, good, I guess. What about you? How have you been I mean?" I asked, it's not as if I didn't talk to people a lot. It's not even that I didn't talk to guys. I just didn't talk to Sebastian Verlac, and he did not talk to me.

He chuckled a little and it was nothing like when Jace did. When Jace chuckled it was almost melodic, whereas Sebastian's just sounded rough. "I've been good. Can't complain too much, but there is one thing," He said giving me this smile that made me shiver, and not in a good way.

"Oh?" Was all I was able to get out.

"You see there's this girl I really like and I want to ask her out, but I don't know how too," He said still giving me that smile like we were sharing some inside joke. Only I didn't know the punch line.

"So are you asking me for advice? Because if that's so I really don't have any I mean I don't get asked out a lot and I definitely don't ask out other people. Especially girls-" I was cut off from my incoherent ramble when Sebastian hooked a finger under my chin and forced me to look up at him. His touch sent a chill down my spine, and I did not like it, not one bit.

"Clary, the girl is you," He said exasperated. I stared at him like he was a monkey in a cage at the zoo. What did he say? Did he just ask me out?

"Oh okay," I said, still dazed.

"Okay as in you'll go out with me or okay as in you know that I was taking about you?" He asked and I could tell he was getting a little impatient.

"Um, both," I squeaked out without thinking.

"Great, I'll pick you up around seven tonight," He said and turned to leave then thought better of it. "Oh and wear something you won't mind getting wrinkled," He said, winked, and then walked away. _What the _fuck_ just happened?_

JPOV

I followed Clary through the halls of our high school. I wasn't stalking her or anything, my class just happens to be by her locker and I figured I could get a sarcastic remark in before the bell rang. However when I turned the corner to Clary's locker she was already preoccupied with talking to someone else. Verlac to be more specific.

I couldn't here what was going on but he kept smiling at her like a dufas and she kept blushing and looking at her feet. _Three guesses as to what's going on here_, I thought as I discretely moved closer to hear what was going on. By the time I was close enough to hear what was going on I could tell the conversation was wrapping up.

"Okay as in you'll go out with me or okay as in you know that I was taking about you?" I heard Verlac ask her impatiently. _Jeez this man really knows a way into a woman's heart_, I thought sarcastically. I waited for Clary's rejection to come, but it never did, in fact the exact opposite came.

"Um, both," She squeaked out. What? Did she just say yes? To that douche bag?

Verlac seemed very smug about this, but as if he expected nothing less. "Great, I'll pick you up around seven tonight," He said turning to walk away only to turn back with one last thought. "Oh and wear something you won't mind getting wrinkled," And then winked at her. He fucking winked at her while pretty much telling her he expected to get lucky tonight!

Son of a-

CPOV

The rest of the day passed in a blur and my only coherent thought was, _crap_. Just that no what the hell just happened? No why did I say yes? Not even a, What am I going to wear. Just a simple, crap. Crap!

~X~X~X~

I came home and around four o' clock I finally got up the courage to tell Iz what had happened. She immediately forgot she was mad at me, and I thanked god that at least one good thing would come out of this.

"Omg! I cannot believe that Sebastian Verlac asked you out! I mean not that your not attractive or a great catch or anything like that. He just usually goes out with more flamboyant girls, you know? But of course he asked you out, you are so pretty. Please tell me you'll let me help you get ready," Izzy gushed, practically hopping with excitement.

"Uh, actually I was kind of hoping you would," I said nervously.

"Oh my god of course I will. Thank you so much Clary. Don't even worry about the thing with me and Simon. Consider yourself cleared of all charges. This is going to be so much fun," She squealed and just like that we were best friends again.

She hauled me up stairs, sat me down on my bed and started going through my closet.

"Girl, no offense, but you seriously need a new wardrobe," She said as she went through all my clothes.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" I asked a little defensively.

"Nothing, if your a nun. I mean don't you have anything that will make the guy's eyes pop out of their heads?" She asked.

"Um, I don't think so, I usually try to dress in a way that would keep body parts attached to people's bodies." I said.

"Well we'll just have to fix that won't we? Come on I think I have something in my room that I think will be perfect," She grabbed a hold of my hand and pretty much dragged me down the hall, into her room and sat me down on her bed. She rummaged in her closet a bit before pulling out a dress that if I had a grandmother, she'd be turning in her grave.

"Oh no Iz, I don't think I could wear that," The dress was a deep black sequined dress that had two spaghetti thin straps and it looked as if it would barely reach about mid thigh on me. If that.

"Why not? It will really bring out your curves and I think it will do good things to your hair," She said pretty much pouting.

"Iz it's our first date, don't you think I should wear something a little more, I don't know, conservative?" I asked not actually knowing much about dating.

"Of course not! You want to hook the boy not bring him to church," She said incredulously. "I also have this wicked pair of black lace tights that will go perfect with this. Ooo an the perfect shoes..." She trailed off as she threw the dress on the bed next to me and started running around her room, finding the articles of clothing she was referring to.

After all was said and done I finally agreed to wear the ridiculous outfit and let her do my makeup. Which even though I acted like I was doing her a favor, I really would have no idea how to do it myself. She did a good job, too. Smoothing the dark make up over my eyes giving them a smoky look and putting a coat of lip gloss on. "Because your lips are such a pretty color by themselves," she had said. Half of my hair was twisted up in some complicated bun and the other half ran down my back, in curls. She was right, the black in contrast with my red hair really looked good.

When I was finished, Iz gave me the once over about six times and decided that I was ready to go. And that was good to, because her hello kitty clock radio(don't ask) said that it was 6:52.

I walked as quickly down the stairs as I could in the ridiculous high heels that Iz had forced me to wear and found Jace, Max, and Alec all waiting for me downstairs. You'd think I was going off to the army the way they were all lined up.

"Wow Clary, you look very pretty!" Max exclaimed when he saw me.

"Thanks Max," I said and ruffled his hair with my hand that wasn't holding my clutch purse.

"Yeah I guess Iz didn't do half bad with you," Alec said looking a little uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Alec," I said at the same time Iz said, "Half bad?" I laughed nervously and finally turned my eyes to Jace. He had absolutely no expression on his face, and I think that scared me more than if he had been angry. He just stared at me, and as I looked I noticed that a flurry of emotions were going on behind his expressionless mask. He looked like he was having some inner battle with himself.

I was just about to ask him what was wrong when the doorbell rang and my stomach jumped into my throat.

"I guess I'll get it," I said nervously and walked to the door. I opened it to see Sebastian leaning against the wall. He was dressed in dark jeans and wearing a black dress shirt that had way to many buttons open on the top so that instead of looking sexy, it just looked tacky.

When he saw me his eyes widened, and I knew what Izzy met when she said their eyes would pop out of their head because his just about did.

"Wow, uh, Clary, you look really hot in that," He said, stumbling over his words a little.

"Thank you," We stood their awkwardly for a little bit before he finally suggested we get going.

"Oh okay," I said and unsteadily started to make my way toward his car. I turned back one last time and waved back at everyone, but Jace wasn't there anymore. _Got bored I guess_.

I walked over to the car and Sebastian opened the door for me,I slid in as smoothly as I could, making sure that my dress wouldn't ride up. I thanked Sebastian for opening the door for me and he got in on the other side. We drove in silence for a little while, I was looking out the window, until something occurred to me.

"Where are we going," I asked.

"Pandemonium," He said while making a left.

At least it was somewhere I've been before, I used to drag Simon there all the time. "Cool," I said.

We arrived there around 7:30, which was early for a place like this, but it was already pumping with activity. Most of them were high school kids, like us, because we all had to get back by curfew. We parked down the street and walked back toward the club. Sebastian kept trying to grab a hold of my hand as we walked but I just brushed him off. _We are _not_ a couple_.

When we got to the door, I stopped to chat with the bouncer a little bit, because it had been so long. We talked about the usually stuff, where you been? Have you beat anybody up lately? The last one was for him because as a bouncer, sometimes the drunks wouldn't leave so quietly, and he had to take care of that. I noticed Sebastian getting a little antsy from waiting so I said a friendly goodbye and we went in.

"Did you really have to stop and talk with the friggin' bouncer?" He asked as we made our way toward the bar.

"He's a friend of mine, of course I was going to say hello," I said incredulously.

"Well next time, just say hello," He said. Yeah as if there is going to be a next time. He ordered a beer and asked me what I want.

"Oh, um, I don't drink, exactly," I said as Sebastian grabbed a hold of his beer, the bartender didn't even bother to card him!

"What do you mean you don't drink? How are we supposed to have a good time if were not totally wasted?" He asked like that was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

"For your information, I have had plenty of good times without being drunk," I said, and then realized what I had just said.

"Plenty of good times, you say?" He said suggestively. I looked at him in disgust and then sat down at one of the bar stools.

"What are you doing, we didn't come here to sit," He said, setting down his beer and pulling me toward the dance floor.

"I just thought we could, I don't know, talk first. You know cus this is the first date and all," I said but it was futile, he wanted to dance.

Once we were somewhere toward the middle he grabbed a hold of my hips and started swaying, completely out of rhythm I might add. I felt uncomfortable with hands on my hips so I reached down and put them on my waist. But that didn't make it any better, and I quickly realized that anywhere he touched me would make me uncomfortable. I tried my best not to let it show and tried dancing with him, but I just couldn't do it. It just felt, wrong.

So I told him I was going back to the bar and without waiting for an answer I made my way through the sea of bodies to the bar. I was startled when Sebastian came up behind me and put his hands on my waist. He leaned in real close and whispered in my ear, "That's okay babe, we should probably get out of here anyway. How 'bout we move the party to my place and see where that leads us," He said and then started to place sloppy kisses on my neck.

I pulled away and turned so I could look at him, "No, really Sebastian, I'd rather just go home," I said uneasily, hoping he wouldn't get mad.

He closed in on me again and put his hands on my hips and pulled my too him. "Ah come on sugar, I promise I don't bite," Then he leaned in real close and put his mouth right next to my ear. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as it curled down my neck. "At least not much," He said and then chuckled in my ear. He moved his mouth down to my neck and started leaving slobbery kisses there again.

I pushed against him, "Sebastian stop," I said, the more firmly "Sebastian, get your hands off of me," I gave him a good shove and he finally got off of me. However my victory was short lived because he put his hands back on my hips and squeezed to the point I was sure there would be bruises.

"Don't be such a cockblocker Clary. You come here in that dead sexy dress and keep brushing up against me with you tight ass and your going to tell me you don't want it?" He said getting a little worked up.

"I, what? Look I don't know what your talking about Sebastian, but if I've been sending you any signals, then I didn't mean to and I'm sorry about that. But I am not going to do, it, with you," I said a little tentatively at the end.

"Ah that's sweet, you can't even say it. I bet your still a virgin too," He said and lunged at me again and rubbed his, uh, nether regions against mine. I was utterly disgusted, but when I tried to push him off me this time, he wouldn't budge. I pushed and pushed but he just wouldn't move. I gave one last futile effort, and to my surprise he actually moved. It wasn't because I had pushed him, though.

"Would you stop molesting the nice lady in front of all these people, Seb?" Jace said as he jerked him off me and spun him so he was facing Jace.

"Ah come on Jace, we were just havin' some fun. Wasn't hurtin' no one," He slurred. That boy could not hold his liquor.

"I beg to differ and I'm sure the nice lady here would too," And he punched Sebastian in the nose, which made a horrible cracking noise.

He was to drunk to take notice, though. "Oh no Jace I promise, she wants it," He said and tried to grab me again.

I was going to tell him I most certainly did not, when I saw this blur and next thing I knew Sebastian was on his back a couple feet away with Jace standing over him.

"The only thing she wants, is to go home and that's exactly where she's going," As if to prove his point he kicked Sebastian one more time in the ribs and walked over to where I was. "Come on, let's go," He said and grabbed a hold of my arm and dragged me through the club and finally made it outside. He still didn't let go and rushed me over to where Alec's car was sitting across from the club. How he managed to get a parking space that close I will never know. He put me in shotgun and then got in on the driver's side.

Once we were driving away I finally spoke, "What the hell just happened Jace?" I asked incredulously.

"What do you mean? I saved the damsel in distress," He said but he wasn't smiling his usual cocky smile when he did.

"Did it ever occur to you that the damsel in question was handling it herself," I said starting to get angry and I didn't even know why.

"Oh yeah, you really looked like you were handling it while he was practically raping in front of everyone."

"He was not practically raping me!"

"Really, Clary, so he wasn't rubbing his groin up against you?"

"Yes but-" I was cut off.

"So your saying next time I should let him rub up against you like that?" He asked.

"That's not what I meant," I started but was cut off again.

"And what did you mean?"

"I don't know Jace! I don't know what the hell is going on, I'm just pissed okay," I yelled at him.

"Why are pissed at me?" He asked, or rather yelled back.

"I'm not, alright. I'm just pissed in general. I'm pissed that he asked me out. I'm pissed that I said yes. I'm pissed that he groped me in front of all those people. And I'm just plain out pissed!" I gradually got louder and by the time I finished I was pretty much screaming at Jace.

Jace didn't say anything he just pulled the car over on the side of the road. We were about a block away from our house and it was pretty much deserted.

"Why the hell did you pull over?" I asked, still pissed.

"Were not going anywhere until you calm down," He said plainly.

"I could always get out and walk the rest of the way," I said.

"Yeah right, in those ridiculous shoes? Plus I locked the doors so..." He said refusing to look at me.

"Great so I managed to get molested and kidnapped all in one night. I am really starting to become popular around here," I said sarcastically.

"Look would you just chill for a second. I know your upset about what happened but you need to calm down," He said turning in his seat to look directly at me. I did the same.

"How the hell am I suppose to calm down after what just happened?" I asked him.

"I don't know, this doesn't happen to me as often as you'd think," He said jokingly, probably trying to lighten up the mood.

It didn't work. "Really because I would have thought that men threw themselves at you all the time," I said sarcastically.

"I know right? Now I'm not saying they don't throw themselves at me, but one has never actually molested me before," He said still joking, which really seemed to piss me off.

"Would you just shut up Jace!" I screamed at him.

"Would you just calm down Clary!" He yelled back.

"God you are insufferable. I cannot wait til I can move away and never have to look at you again! You are the single most slimiest, annoying, stupid, retarded, cocky bastard the planet as ever know! And I hope-" I was cut off when Jace crashed his lips onto mine in a crazy, hungry, passionate kiss.

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**So right about now I imagine your happy they kissed but really pissed that I ended it there and I'm sorry**

**trust me I hate cliffys as much as the next crazed fangirl, but I had to do it so don't get to angry.**

**I hope to post the next chapter soon so you won't have to wait too long, I'm not that mean.**

**Oh and please review I tend to write more when I get lots of reviews! :D**

**And to see Clary's out fit go to:** http(colon,backslash,backslash)www(dot)polyvore(dot)com(backslash)cgi(backslash)app#

**or go to my profile and click on the link**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay guys, sorry I didn't get this up sooner! I've just been so**

**busy what with school and all. However I hope it won't take up to**

**much of my time because I really don't like to keep my readers waiting**

**trust me it pisses me off just as much as you. However keep in mind that finals**

**are coming up so lots of studying to do :( **

**Anywho enough of my problems let's get to Jace and Clary's problems**

**Also you guys need to listen to this song, it's perfect for Jace it's called**

**Lonely September by the Plain White T's  
**

**Disclaimer:I don't own the mortal instruments so...um...yeah.**

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CPOV

My pencil brushed lightly over the crisp, white paper that was currently residing in my lap. I wasn't really trying to draw anything in particular, I just let my pencil run over the paper and eventually an image would appear. A dip here, a shade here, a stroke there, it was if my hands just knew what they wanted to draw and I didn't stop them. When I felt that it was finished I looked down to see what I had drawn. A pair of eyes, bright, and under a thick pair of lashes. A sharp nose that fit squarely in between the pair of eyes, and it curved in just the right way to be smooth, yet still masculine. A smooth dip underneath the nose led to the most perfect pair of lips I had ever seen, to bad they were used make such sarcastic and assy remarks.

Of course I had drawn Jace, lately that's all I've been able to draw, ever since he had kissed me. Oh no, you heard me right, I said kiss. As in full blown, lips on lips kiss. The thing is I just couldn't figure out why he would do that. I don't even know what had really happened I just remember being really angry and distraught at what had happened, and then he kissed me. I also remember kissing him back, which scares me. I mean this boy, who had gone out of his way to make my life miserable, then took me on a midnight stroll through the park, and then was a total ass about it later had kissed me. I mean seriously, _what the hell_?

Fed up I through my sketch book, which was now full of pictures of Jace, down and left the safety of my room to venture out into the house. Jace hadn't spoken a word to me since, probably because I avoided him whenever it was possible. And when we were in the same room, I would put my earphones in and turn my iPod up really loud. I didn't think he was in the house today so I deemed it safe to leave my room and get something to eat.

I went into the kitchen a grabbed a green apple and started to cut it up. Once it was in slices I got some peanut-butter and put it in a small container. This was one of the only good memories I had of my childhood, before I moved here. I remember my mom had come home one day, in such a good mood, and made this up for me and her. Then we moved all the furniture to one side of the living room and we sat on the floor and ate our apples and peanut-butter. Once we had finished, my mom put my favorite CD, Sugar Beats, into the stereo and she grabbed a hold of my tiny hands and we danced around the floor for hours. Then we moved a whole bunch of blankets and pillows to the middle of the floor and watched a movie. Finally dad and Sebastian came home and joined us on the floor, and we eventually all fell asleep there. That was the last memory I had of my mother before she died.

"How can you do that?" I heard a voice ask me, bringing me back to the present. I looked up to see Jace had since entered the kitchen.

"Do what?" I asked curiously.

"Space off into your own little world without being aware of anything around you," He said looking at me intently.

"Oh, I don't know. A lot of practice, I guess," I said, dipping one of my apple sliced into the peanut-butter and taking a bite.

"What are you eating?" Jace looking down at my carefully prepared concoction.

"Apples and peanut-butter, want to try some?" I asked offering him my snack. He gave me a skeptical look but took a slice and dipped in the peanut-butter all the same. He placed it in his mouth and chewed it up slowly, deliberately. All the while he stared at me with a hungry glint in his eyes that made my stomach do all kinds of flips. Finally he swallowed and licked his lips slowly and leaned in real close, so that our foreheads were almost touching, almost.

"Delicious," He said with a smirk that made my knees want to buckle.

"So, um," I started trying to clear my head. "Why are you here? I mean in this house?"

"I'm sorry, I was under the impression I lived here," He said straitening up, effectively braking the trance.

"That's not what I meant, I thought you were going somewhere today," I said taking more bites of my snack.

"Changed my mind," He said.

"What made you do that?"

"I don't know, just didn't feel like going anywhere today. What about you why aren't you out and about?"

"Honestly I just didn't feel like leaving my room," I said.

"Oh, and why is that?" He asked. What is with him and all these stupid questions, what is he Sherlock Holmes now?

"Do you want the truth or a carefully laid out lie?" I asked and chuckled nervously.

"Both," he said intrigued.

"Well the carefully laid out lie was that I was cramping up, so I didn't want to walk around," I said. He laughed but didn't say anything. I scowled at him, but continued, "And the truth..." I said trailing off, trying to find the right words.

"The truth..." He said.

"Is that I was avoiding you," I said in one gust of wind.

"Why would you do that," He asked, even though I knew that he knew the answer.

"Because of what happened between us, Jace," I said exasperated.

"What did happen between us Clary?"

"Jesus would stop answering my questions with questions. What are you my fucking psychiatrist now?" I asked getting a little angry that he was tip-toeing around the subject.

"Do you want me to be?" He asked.

"No! I want you to tell me what was going on in your head when you kissed me!" I yelled at him, since when do I have anger-management problems?

"Nothing really," He said completely calm. "You were just yelling at me and I _had_ to get you to stop yelling. So I kissed you, at the time it seemed very effective, now I'm not so sure that it was worth it," He said looking me up and down.

"So that's it?" I asked incredulously. "You got tired of me yelling at you, so you decided to just up and kiss me, just like that?"

"Well, yeah, pretty much," He said scratching the back of his head.

"That doesn't make any sense, you don't just kiss someone if you don't feel anything for them," I said.

"What are you talking about, of course you do. I do it all the time, whenever I'm with a girl. Don't kid yourself sweetheart, that kiss was nothing special," He said giving me his best player look.

"And don't kid yourself," I said angry at first, but then giving up completely. I was just too tired, emotionally and physically to do this right now. "I never thought it was," I whispered and walked out of the kitchen.

JPOV

_What is wrong with that girl? _I mean she's known me long enough, she knows I kiss girls all the time without it meaning anything. It's what I do, I kiss woman, take them out on dates, make them swoon with sweet nothings, make them melt like putty in my hands, but none of it ever means anything. Because I can't let them in, I won't. Not even Clary.

But God how I wanted too, how I wanted to taker her in my arms and never let go. I couldn't do that, though, because soon enough she would break my heart. She would take my heart in her hand and crush it tell it bled, and I couldn't handle that again. Especially if it was Clary doing the breaking. _How do you know she would break it though?_ Because that's what I had been taught from birth, that love would just bring me pain, and I believed it because I had felt it first hand.

She was already starting to squeeze my heart, I thought as I remembered her words from just before. 'I never though it was.' Did it really mean nothing to her, that kiss. Because I had been lying through my teeth, that kiss had meant more to me than I cared to admit, even to myself. But why should it have meant anything to her, I've been a douche to her all her life, and then when I tried to make it up to her, I threw it back in her face. If I were her, I'd never want to see my bastard of a face again. She probably didn't either, seeing as she's been avoiding me ever since. When did my life get so complicated? Why did I ever think in the first place that it would be a good idea to let her in. I didn't even let her in all the way, yet I was already feeling the pain of love.

There's that word again, that word that always seems to pop up whenever I think of her. The big L, the L-bomb, that one word that could ruin my life, Love. Did I love her? No it's just not possible, I wouldn't allow it! _Oh like you can control it dumbass!_ That voice said that started sound more and more like Clary as timed passed. Well she, I mean it, was wrong, I can control it. It's my life and I can choose whether or not to fall in love. _That's not how it works and you know it!_ God would you stop yelling at me your giving me a headache. I really needed to stop with this inner monologue shit, it was really starting to put a damper on my social life. _Well it you'd just accept that I am always right, you wouldn't have a headache right now._ I needed to get out of the house.

I walked out the door and power walked half a block before I noticed it was raining.

CPOV

I looked out of my window in disdain as I saw Jace rush out of the house and walk/run out into the rain. _What the hell is he trying to get pneumonia?_ Not that I care. Why should I care, in fact if I do care it's because I hope he _does_ get it. Stupid douche. In fact if he does get it, it's because he deserves it. I mean how can he say that kiss meant nothing! That night he had kissed me with such passion and resolve. Like he was trying to put every emotion into that one kiss and pass it on to me. Maybe that's just how he kisses all girls.

I didn't think so, I had seen Jace kiss plenty of girls, seeing as he has no problem with PDA, but he never seemed really into it. It was like he was doing it just to do it, because he could, not because he really wanted to. Not that I had been paying real attention or anything, its just like a train wreck, you want to look away, but you just can't.

So why did he lie about it? Was he afraid I didn't feel the same way? Do I feel the same way? If so, what exactly are we feeling? God this is so messed up. Why can't we go back to when we just hate each other? _Do you really want that?_ I didn't know anymore, I just didn't know.

I was brought out of my musing at a knock at the door. I slowly got up from where I was on my bed and made my way to the door. "Who is it?" I asked without opening it.

"It's Iz, just let me in," Izzy said impatiently from the other side.

I opened the door, "Sorry, thought you were someone else," I grumbled.

"Someone like Jace," She said stepping into my room.

"No, why would Jace be at my door?" I asked nervously.

"Oh don't give me that bull Clary. I know something has been going on between you two," She said as she laid down on my bed.

"Look, just leave it alone Iz. I don't want to talk about it," I said as I sat down on the bed next to her.

"So you admit something is going on?"

"Yes okay, why must you be so difficult?" I asked exasperated.

"It's just my way, but seriously what is going on?"

"I told you I don't really want to talk about it."

"Maybe I can help," She offered.

"I highly doubt that."

"Don't ever doubt my skills when it comes to dating."

"What are you talking about, dating?" I asked, wondering how she could have possibly picked up on anything like that.

"Oh please, it is so obvious I mean I could cut the sexual tension between you two with a Prada heel," She said.

"Sexual-what? Iz, I am completely lost now."

"You guys have been totally lusting after each other since you were, like, fourteen."

"What are you talking about! Stuff didn't start happening till just a week ago," I said getting a little confused and frustrated because of it.

"What kind of stuff," She asked hungry for the details.

"Nothing much, just, once we went on a walk. And then we kissed after my date with Sebastian," I shivered at the memory of it. "But he was a total douche bag to me after both times!"

"You guys have already kissed! Wow this escalated faster than I thought. Though it's about damn time, I might add."

"What do you mean about damn time?"

"Never mind, you need advice now."

"Is that so?" I asked getting a little irritated.

"Yes, I mean if you haven't been picking up on the signs by now, you never will."

"What signs?"

"Do you really not notice? The way he looks at you? The way his eyes are always staring at your lips whenever you talk, and when he's not looking at your lips, he's looking at you like the most fragile thing in the world, the most precious. How he gives any guy that looks at you the death glare. I mean come on! You can't tell me you at least didn't notice how he looked at you on the night of your date with Sebastian." She said in exasperation.

"Well, I guess I noticed something," I started.

"Something? Jace was pretty much debating on beating Sebastian up on the spot or taking you right then and there," This made me blush furiously.

"I-I don't know what your talking about," I said.

"Oh come on, I know you noticed it, even if you didn't know what you were noticing. It still counts all the same."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway, because I don't think he wants anything to do with me. He told me that the kiss meant nothing to him and that is fine by me."

"Not likely," She snorted in a very unladylike way but in a very Izzy-like-way. "You totally care, and I'm telling you he cares too, he's just scared."

"So what if I believe you, Izzy? What do you propose I do about it?" I asked her.

"Go after him,"

"But I have no idea where he is," I said in a voice that may or may not have been a little whiny.

"Think about it real hard, I'm sure it will come to you."

~X~X~X~

JPOV

I finally ended up on a bench in the park, the same one I had taken Clary to not a week ago. I don't know how I ended up there, I was just blindly running through the streets, and found myself here. The rain had only gotten harder, but I didn't notice it. I was completely numb at this point, and that's how I wanted it. I wanted to be numb, like the rain could wash away my feelings for Clary. For anything.

Of course that would never happen, nothing could ever wipe away what I felt for Clary. They was just there and no matter how hard I tried to rid myself of them, I never would. I accepted that now. _Just in time for her to hate me so much that there will never be a chance_, I thought bitterly.

"Jace," A small voice called out from somewhere next to me. I looked up to see fiery red hair whipped around the most beautiful face I had ever seen.

"Clary, what are you doing here?" I asked.

She laughed a little hysterically. "That seems to be the million dollar question, because I don't know. I have no idea why I came running after you, _in the rain_, after the way you treated me. But here I am plain and simple."

I didn't know what to say so I just stared at her. A billion things passed in her eyes as I watched her. Anger, confusion, sadness, concern, and maybe hope.

"Well Jace, are you going to tell me? Are you going to tell me why the hell I am out here?"

"I don't know Clary," I said dumbfounded.

"Wonderful, can you at least tell me why your out here?" She asked.

"You," I said immediately.

"Me?" She said trying to raise an eyebrow and failing miserably. I held back a laugh because I knew that would just piss her off, and I didn't want that.

"Yes you, no matter what I do Clary, it always seems to be about you. Every time I get up in the morning I wonder what you'll wear today. Whenever were in class together, I'm always staring at the back of you heading thinking to myself 'Jee I wonder what she's thinking.' Hell Clary when I'm with other girls I'm thinking of you, what it would be like if it was your lips I was pressing mine too, and not some girl I picked up at school. I know I have no right to think about it, especially when I'm kissing another girl, but I do," He got up from the bench and took a step toward me. "I can't help it. Believe me, I've tried, God how I've tried, but I can't get you out of my head."

She stared at me a long time. Probably in shock of my sudden outburst of emotion. To tell the truth I was surprised too, even more surprised to find that everything I just said was true. Finally she whispered, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you try and bury those feelings?"

"A lot of reasons. For one I thought you hated me, I made for damn sure of that."

"Yes but why, why did you want me to hate you so much?"

"Because I'm a coward, because I'm afraid that if I give myself to you, that you will take it and crush it. I'm afraid that your going to break my heart Clary."

Then she did the most outrageous thing, that I could hardly believe it. She closed the distance between us and slapped me, right across the cheek.

"If you think for one second, Jace Wayland, that I would break your heart, hurt you in any way, just to do it, then you really don't know me."

"That's not what I meant-"

"It's not just because I don't like to hurt people, it's because I don't want to hurt you Jace!"

"Why wouldn't you want to hurt me, I was a total ass to you?"

"Because Jace, I always knew, that deep down it wasn't who you really were. That you were just putting on this facade to hide from the world. What I could never figure out is why, why you were hiding yourself from us," Then very quietly. "From me."

"What if I'm no good Clary?"

"You are good Jace, I can see it. I saw it when you shared your lunch with me. I saw it when you took me for a walk through the park and let me spill my guts to you. I saw it when you saved me from Sebastian. And I saw it when you kissed me on the ride home. You may have been trying to push me away, but you did a miserable job, because I know you, the real you, better than anyone." I looked into her eyes and I could tell that she wasn't lying. I really had revealed a lot of myself to her, without even meaning to. And as I looked into her eyes I could see that she liked me, the side of me that only she got to see.

So I took the most logical next step I grabbed her face in my hands and crashed my lips onto hers. Just like in the car, only I was still holding back, if only a little, then. Now I gave all of myself to Clary in this one kiss.

CPOV

His lips connected with mine and all coherent thoughts were lost. Our lips moved together in perfect sync and I could feel everything Jace had to offer in it. I could feel the passion, the fear, the anger, the adoration, I could feel how long he had been waiting for this. Slowly I tangled my hands in his golden locks as his hands found my waste and wrapped them firmly around it.

We went on like this for a long time before I felt the tip of Jace's tongue dip out to trace my bottom lip. I gasped at the new sensation and he took full advantage of this, quickly slipping his tongue into my mouth. He felt every crevice within my mouth, exploring it, as if trying to memorize exactly where everything was.

Slowly, tentatively, I started to fight back with my own tongue and this elected a loud moan form Jace. He hitched me up so that my legs were wrapped firmly around his waist, never once breaking the kiss. We battled with our tongues for awhile, until he finally submitted to me and I explored his mouth with my own. When I flicked my tongue across the roof of his mouth, he growled and immediately took over.

Finally we had to separate for air, but that didn't keep his lips away from my skin. He moved them down my cheek, along my jaw, and down to my neck where he started to kiss the place where my neck met my collarbone. This made me shudder and I had to bite down, hard, on my bottom lip to stop myself from letting out a loud moan.

I brought his lips back up to mine and kissed them as passionately as I could taking everything he had to give me and giving him all of me in return. However this kiss was short lived because at that moment I realized that we were still at the park.

"Jace," I said, barely breathing his name.

"Mhmm," Was his only reply as his lips traced my neck and made there way up to my ear.

I stifled a moan when he nipped slightly at my lobe. "Jace we need to get back to the house,"

He didn't say anything, just brought his lips back to mine for a hungry kiss that left me breathless and begging for more. However he pulled back and sighed.

"I suppose your right," He put me down and looked at me in wonder. I stared back and this time really gave myself a chance to look at him. He was wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt with no jacket. _Must of forgot one in his rush out of the house_, I thought. That's when I noticed that since his shirt was completely soaked, it was also completely see through. And boy did I like what I saw. His t-shirt clung to his toned body and I could clearly see the planes of his chest and every muscle that tightened and contracted as me breathed. I had a sudden urge to reach out and place my hand on his chest, but this was no place to do that.

I was breathing pretty heavily at this point and really needed to get out of there. "Come on," I said. I grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him with me through the streets of New York. We would occasionally stop to give each other a heated kiss, which delayed us, so by the time we got back to the Institute, we were completely soaked. I didn't even no where we were going, because Jace was leading me, until we were in his room with the door shut.

We stared at each other for a little while, not saying a word, just watching. I loved how the water dripped off his tight curls and down his neck, which lead to his chest. No, bad thoughts Clary!

"So I guess we should get out of these wet clothes," he said, being the first one to come back to their senses.

"Yeah I guess. Do you have a towel?"

"Yeah let me just get it," He said going to the bathroom. I don't know how he ended up with a bathroom in his room and I didn't, but his didn't have a shower, which meant he still got to bug me in the mornings to get out. I looked around his room and was surprised to find his walls completely bare. In fact, his whole entire room was bare. His floor clean of any clothes or shoes, desk neatly tucked away in the corner. The only way you could tell that anyone lived here was the slept in bed.

_I wonder what it would be like to sleep in that bed. _Wait, no, bad. I should not be having those thoughts. _Still..._

"Here you go," Jace said as he walked in from the bathroom and handed me a towel.

"Thanks," I said, and then just kind of held it awkwardly.

"So, um I'll just get dressed in the bathroom and then you can get dressed in here?" He asked.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds okay."

"Great," He went over to his drawer and pulled out some clothes then went into the bathroom.

I quickly stripped out of my clothes as soon as the door was closed and toweled off. After I was sufficiently dry, I noticed that I didn't have a change of clothes. I tentatively walked over to Jace's drawer and pulled out one of his t-shits. This one was a dark blue shirt that advertised the band Linkin Park. I eyed it warily before slipping it over my head, just in time too, because at that moment Jace walked out of the bathroom wearing pajama bottoms and boxers. That was it.

His breath hitched when he saw me and I worried that he didn't like that I was wearing his shirt. "Is it okay that I borrowed one of your shirts? I didn't have any other clothes and I just thought..." I trailed off not knowing exactly what I had been thinking in the first place.

He got out in a strained voice, "No it's okay Clary, it's just a little too okay,"

"What do you mean,"

"I mean seeing you in my t-shirt makes me need a cold shower," He said bluntly.

"Oh," Was all I said as my cheeks flamed up.

"So, do you want to sit down?"

"Okay," I said. I eyed the bed warily but finally got up the courage and crawled over to the other side and plopped down.

After a few moments, Jace came over and stretched out next to me. I took this as an okay and laid all the way down. As soon as I was completely down, though, Jace pulled me over to him so that my head rested on his chest and one of my legs tangled with his.

"What if someone comes in here?" I asked, knowing we must look like we just took a tumble in the bed. _And boy would I like to take a tumble with Jace._

"Alec is at Manus', Izzy said she was going to Pandemonium, and to not wait up for her, Max is at a friend's house and Mayrse and Robert are on a business trip. I highly doubt anyone is going to come in here."

"So what your saying is, we are all alone," I said looking up at him.

His breath caught as he looked at me. "As far as I know," He whispered.

"Good to know." And then I did something that was so bold, I would have never believed I would have done it in million years. I started to kiss my way up his chest, to his neck, and finally stopped when I reached his ear. I nibbled on it a little before saying, "And what do you suppose we should do with all this alone time we've suddenly acquired?"

He squirmed beneath me, a noise leaving his mouth that I didn't even know he could make. I moved on top of him and straddled him, making him make even more delectable noises. I kissed my way back down to his neck and kissed where his neck met his shoulder, running my hands up and down his chest as I did.

He moaned even louder and flipped us over so that he was on top. I gasped at the sudden movement and he took that as encouragement. He kissed his way from my neck, up to my jaw, and then finally ending on my lips. Our lips crashed together and were stuck in a hungry, needy kiss. I moaned and arched my back up, which made my hips rub against his own. He growled into my mouth pushed his hips down trying desperately to make more friction between us. His hands slipped down my sides and slowly slipped up my shirt, his hand splayed on my stomach. Touching, feeling, sending shock waves through my body whenever his hand went a little to low or high.

All of sudden his hand was away from my skin and I whimpered at the loss. Jace hovered above me, his hands on either side of my face, supporting his weight. Finally, when his breathing had died down a little bit he said, "Clary I don't think-" He sucked in a breath as I readjusted myself beneath him, causing my chest to brush up against his own. "Clary," Moan, "I don't think we should do this," He finally got out.

He saw the rejection wash over my face and immediately backtracked, "What I mean is, I don't think we should do this now. This is still all new to me," He finished.

"You mean sex?" I asked, and then blushed at what I had just said.

"No, I mean this whole," He stopped at lost for words. "Thing, us, me, you. I've never been in a serious relationship, I've never wanted to up until now. But I don't want to screw it up because we did...certain...things to early," He said looking down at me with nothing but adoration in his eyes, like I was the most priceless piece of treasure in the world and he was afraid that he could lose it at any moment.

"So is that what were in then? A relationship?" I asked.

He laughed good at this, "That's what you get from that? I spill guts and you want to know if were in a relationship," He said smiling the perfect smile down at me.

"Yes," I whispered up at him.

He stayed quiet a long while, just looking down at me, searching my eyes for something. I guess he found it because he said, "Do you want to be in a relationship with me, because I sure as hell want to be in a relationship with you."

"Yes," I said.

"Then it's settled, you are officially Jace Wayland's girlfriend," He said with a smirk.

"I don't think so," I said and watched as his face fell, suspecting I had changed my mind. "You are now officially Clary Fray's _boyfriend_," I said with a little smirk of my own. He laughed outright at this and laid back down next to me. I started to inch forward, a little nervously, before Jace pulled me to him so that we were in our original position, my head on his chest, our legs tangling together below us. Jace pulled the blankets up and over us, and I fell asleep completely at peace with myself. No twisting or turning, no staring at the clock for hours on end, just simple, blissful sleep.

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**Fhew, alright so I really hoped you guys liked that, I wasn't sure about the kissing scenes, **

**I don't know if I wrote them quite how I wanted to, but oh well, tell me if it sucked so I can seek**

**out guidance! Also thanks guys for all the reviews, that's really cool of you guys *tears* jkjk**


	8. Chapter 8

**Alright guys I finally got Chap 8 up and I'm sorry it took so long, you know**

**I don't like to keep you guys waiting, but school's started up again so you know**

**can't be failing classes. Also finals are starting up and you all know how that**

**goes so, yeah, bare with me please. This chapter is a lot, and I mean serious hard**

**core no joke fluff. Not my fault though, were starting Romeo and Juliet in English**

**so I've been watching a lot of sappy romantic movies. Something tells me though that **

**you guys will be into that kind of thing. Also you should know that I have been reading your**

**reviews and complied with your demands. Disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been **

**Cassandra Clare and I own nothing!**

**

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**

CPOV

I woke up feeling warm and content. I smiled, not even really knowing why, until I dug my head a little further into my pillow, which turned out to be Jace's bare chest. He was so warm. Slowly I opened my eyes a little to see Jace looking down at me with a small smile on his face.

"Morning," I whisper.

"Morning," He says in the same, quiet tone.

"How long have you been up?" I asked as I moved up his chest a little to get a better look at him.

"Not long, just an hour," He says, still staring at me with this look in his eyes that makes my insides melt.

"An hour? Why didn't you get up?"

"Because then I would've had to move you, and I was perfectly content watching you sleep," He said, his smile growing.

I smiled wide and leaned up to place my lips lightly on his. It was the most sweetest, perfect kiss that we had shared, that anyone had ever shared I bet. When we pulled back we were both grinning like fools, but we didn't care. We, well at least I, have never been so happy in my life.

That is, until Izzy barges in. "Hey Jace have you seen Cl-" She stops as notices me also in the bed, wearing only his t-shirt, and in what I can only imagine is a _very _compromising position. "It would appear you've not only seen her, but seen _a lot_ of her," She says with an almost Jace worthy smirk, almost. I blushed a deep red when she said that and buried my face against Jace.

"Is there something you need terribly Iz, or can you leave me and my woman in peace?" He asked. I wouldn't normally appreciate someone calling me there's, like I was a possession, but hearing Jace calling him his _woman_ had a nice ring to it. A nice ring indeed.

"As much as I'd love to leave you two love birds to your business, Simon is down stairs waiting for Clary," At this I look up.

"Simon's downstairs?" I ask, like I may have heard her wrong.

"Yup, and I think he really wants to talk to you," Then with a pointed look at Jace, "Alone."

"Okay, I'll be down in few minutes, will you tell him that?" I ask Izzy.

"Okay," And with one last look at the both of us, she leaves and shuts the door.

I start to get up but Jace tightens his hold on me. "Do you really have to patch things up with your lap dog right now?" He asked with his best puppy dog eyes. They almost break me, but then I remember that it was his fault that Simon was mad at me in the first place.

"You brought this on yourself, if you had just let it be, Simon wouldn't have been mad at me. Which means that instead of making friends with him again, we could be doing stuff like this," I lean in and press my lips to his, in a long, lingering kiss, before pulling away abruptly. "But since you didn't, I have to go," I say with an evil smile, and bound out bed.

He groans, "Are you trying to torture me?" He says, running a hand through his hair in a very sexy way.

"Maybe," I say then pull on my wrinkled jeans from last night, that had since dried, thankfully. I look around the room for my shirt, my back turned to Jace. I'm still looking when I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I bury a shudder at the way his body feels pressed against mine.

He starts to kiss my neck from behind and gets out, "Are," Kiss. "You sure," Lick. "You want," Nibble. "To go," And with that he runs his lips up and down my neck. I can't suppress the shudder that builds this time.

Finally, though, I'm able to pull away. "Yes Jace, I really do need to go," I barely get out because his hands are running up and down my sides. He pulls back though, like the gentleman that he is.

"Alright, I suppose I did bring this on myself," He says with a sigh.

"Yes you did," I give him a small smile, and leave before he can distract me further.

I quickly run down the stairs and see Simon waiting for me in the hallway, looking at some old painting of demons and angels fighting, I know creepy right?

"Hey," I say quietly.

He turns to me and says, "Hey,"

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys, I don't know what I was thinking. You guys just looked so happy together, and I didn't want to ruin that. And I feel really bad and-"

"Clary," Simon says, cutting me off. "I know okay, it was really me fault, I overreacted. And," He stops, with a pained expression on his face. "As much as I hate, and by that I mean completely loathe, Jace, he was right, I shouldn't have kept it from you in the first place."

"No, really Simon, you guys were just trying to help me. You thought I'd be weirded out and wanted to save me from that," I say.

"Yeah, but it's obvious that your okay with it, and I should have known you'd be. I am your best friend after all, I should be able to share anything with you," He says with that goofy Simon grin that I love. I run over him and trap him in a big bear hug, and he doesn't hesitate to hug me back.

After a little bit he asks, "Whose shirt are you wearing?"

"Oh, um, yeah well seeing as were on the subject of relationships and telling your best friend about them..."

~X~X~X~

Of course I told Simon everything, well almost everything, I mean how could I not after the conversation we just had? I mean after he said he was wrong and looking sad for himself because he kept it from me, there was no way I was going to be able to keep Jace and me a secret.

He reacted in the expected fashion, lots of yelling, the words what and how and why getting thrown around like plates at a Greek wedding. One time he almost went upstairs to yell at Jace and demand him to tell him how he tricked me into thinking I liked him. Izzy, God bless her, stops him before he gets to the first step and explains that we have had pent up sexual tension for a long time. This of course made me blush, and wonder about this so called pent up sexual tension. Which makes me think of sexual tension and Jace, which makes me think of- No bad Clary, not good thoughts.

Simon finally calms down in about twenty minutes and just like that were best friends again. I didn't realize how much I had missed Simon until he was back. Jace came down and even though Simon had come to terms with my relationship with Jace, he still looked like he wanted to kill him. The feeling was mutual, apparently, because Jace had the same expression on his face. I decided that I would keep them separated for awhile.

We all decided to watch a movie, well me and Iz did, Simon didn't look like he could handle being in the same room as Jace right now and Jace just wanted to go back upstairs. But me and Iz were adamant which is how we ended up in front of the tv watching Date Night, with Tina Fey and Steve Carrell. It had just come out on dvd and was very funny, or says IMDB. So me and Jace were curled up on the love seat and Iz and Simon were sprawled out on the big couch.

The movie turned out to be really funny and by the time the credits started rolling up the screen, everyone was in a better mood. Iz and Simon decided to go out for lunch while me and Jace hung back. We got a couple of sandwiches for lunch and when we were finished we went back up stairs. Jace said he had to take a shower so I hung out in my room, waiting for him to get out, but trying to not to make it look obvious. I end up grabbing my sketch book and start drawing with my trusty number two pencil, sharpened to a point.

I look out my window from my seat just below it, and found that the mysterious figure was back, only he looked different in the golden sunlight. I could see that he was, in fact, a man like I had thought, and that he had ink black hair. The hair caught the sunlight and seemed to reflect it back, like a mirror. A deep black mirror. He was in the same slouched position, and he never looked up, but something in the way he held himself looked familiar and yet foreign at the same time.

I looked down at my sketch book and realized I had just drawn the whole scene going on beneath me. I looked back out the window and he was gone, I looked down the streets but he was nowhere to be seen. I looked back down at my sketch, something about it makes my whole body wash over in grief. The way he looks like he's in despair, like he's so close to getting something, but he can't have it. I'm so sad now that I'm on the verge of tears and that's when Jace walks in.

He has a big smile on his face and looks like he's about to say something, until he sees me. He walks straight over to me and takes me in his arms. He doesn't say anything, he just saw the tears forming in my eyes and knew he had to make them go away. I held on to him, and focused on breathing, in and out, holding back the tears that threaten to fall. I take in Jace's scent, soap and something manly that I can't quite put my finger on, but is completely intoxicating. I start to feel better and I'm finally able to look up at him.

"What happened?" He asked soothingly, like he was talking to an injured animal.

"Nothing, I just- There was this man-" I try and get it out but I can't, so instead I go over to my previous seat and grab my sketch book. I hand it to him and watch his reactions as he looks at it. First confusion, then admiration, then confusion again, and then he finally ends on recognition.

"I've seen him before, outside on a bench," He said, still looking at the picture.

"This is the second time I've seen him," I say still gouging his reaction.

"Is this why you were crying, because of him?" Jace still sounds confused, but there's a hint of anger mixed in, I could see in his eyes that he hated anyone who made me feel bad. I smiled inwardly at that.

"Sort of, I saw him, and he looked so familiar. Then when I really looked at the picture, well, he just looked so sad and all of a sudden I didn't want him to feel bad. Like his grief was my grief," Then I chuckle. "I guess that sounds a little nuts, huh?"

"No, not at all. You saw someone in pain and you felt for them. You of all people would want to take someones grief away," He says looking at me.

"Why me of all people?" I ask.

"Because your just one of those people, Clary. The kind of person that wants to make sure everyone is happy, and when someone isn't, you want to make it better. No matter who they are," He says the last one so quietly that I barely heard it.

"How would you know?"

"Know what?"

"What kind of person I am?"

"Because Clary, I've been watching you for a long time. I know I came off as an ass, I was, still am. But I was still always watching, seeing your reactions to things, looking for signs to what you might be thinking. I may have only just admitted my feelings for you, but they have always been there," He says looking into my eyes with such burning intensity that it would be impossible not to believe him.

"Your not an ass, Jace. You may act like one, but I know better. I know you," I say and reach out to brush my hand against his cheek, he immediately leaned into it, like a reflex. He put his hand over mine and twined our fingers together and wrapped his other hand around my waist, bringing me to him. He kissed me long and tenderly, but I didn't want tender, not right now. I intensified the kiss by slipping my tongue out to trace his bottom lip. He groaned and opened his mouth, I slipped inside and explored every nook and cranny. When I flicked my tongue against the roof of his mouth, which I now know makes him go crazy, he moans deep and pushes me against the wall.

He takes over, and I don't fight back. I let him roam around my mouth with his tongue, while his hands roamed around my body. Trailing lightly over my abdomen, up my sides, all the way up to my hair where he tangles his fingers into the soft curls.

Before things can go to far, he pulls back. We stand there for a moment, Jace's hands have moved to either side of my head and he's using the wall for support. Were breathing heavily and a minute passes before either of us catches our breath. Jace is first, though.

"Clary, you have really got to stop doing that,"

"Sorry," I whisper, even though I have no idea what I'm apologizing for.

He rests he forehead on mine and looks into my eyes, while I stare at his. His are so impossibly gold, almost molten. His pupils are very dilated at the moment and there's a look in them that can only be described as complete adoration. He feels that for me, I can't believe it, this absolutely perfect, wonderful, sexy man adores me. Just knowing that makes my knees weak.

"I'm going to take you on a date," He says out of nowhere.

"What?" I ask

"I, Jace Wayland, am going to take you, Clary Fray, on a date," He says with a huge smile plastered on his face.

I put on a smirk, "What if I don't want to?" I ask. For a moment his smile wavers, but only a moment before it comes back.

"Too bad."

~X~X~X~

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as Jace pulled me down the streets of New York, or so I hoped seeing as I was blindfolded.

"It's a secret, now come, no need to be dead weight," He says as he pulls me along faster.

"Well I wouldn't be if I knew where we were going," I said, even though I was suppressing a smile.

"We're almost there I promise."

"You said that five minutes ago," I mumbled. I didn't know how he expected me to do this in high heels. Oh yes, Izzy got me into those again, only these ones aren't quite as ridiculous. There black heels, less of the heel this time, with this black lace covering them. My dress is green, also covered in black lace, but with a satin, green ribbon around my mid-section. On top of the dress is a short coat, that has short sleeves and only goes down to about where the ribbon starts. My hair is down, flowing in soft curls down my back. It was a modest outfit that I actually liked this time. Iz said I was suppose to get their attention, boys I mean, but I've already got Jace's.

Jace is wearing dark blue jeans, you will never get that boy out of them, with a white t-shirt and a black blazer over top, unbuttoned. And, of course his black converse. Admittedly he looked really good, and by that I mean drop dead gorgeous. I mean seriously, sometimes I'm jealous how he can pull off anything and still look amazingly hot. He could be wearing a clown suit and girls would still swoon under his gaze.

Finally I feel him stop and I reached to take off my blindfold, but a hand stopped me. "Nuh uh, it's not time yet," He says with a mischievous note in his voice.

"Please, Jace?" I ask him in one last attempt.

"Nope," He said popping the p.

He opened a door and pulled me inside. I could here faint voices, and a low song playing in the background. It smelled amazing, so I knew we were at a restaurant. _Thank god, I'm starving._ He talks to someone, the host I assumed, he said something low, and she laughed. Then we were moving again, I could feel us swerving and turning until I was finally sat down in a chair in front of what I can only imagine to be a table. Finally my blindfold was removed and my breath stuck in my throat. We were alone in a back room of the most amazing restaurant, _The Glass City._ Properly named too, because next to our table is a floor-to-ceiling window that looks out on the most beautiful view. There was the usual New York buildings, lite up with dazzling lights, but in the background was a meadow with a river running through it.

When I was able to tear my gaze away from the view, I looked straight at Jace, who was now seated right in front of me. "Jace this is too much, this has to be really expensive. Really I would have been just as happy at Taki's,"

"It was nothing," He said.

"There is no way Mayrse and Robert know about this, so how can you afford it?" I asked.

"I've been saving up for awhile, you know doing a job here and there. And since Mayrse insist on buying everything for me, I haven't had a chance to actually use it," I remembered how Jace is always doing jobs here and there. Moving boxes, mowing lawns, even driving old ladies around.

"Jace you worked hard for that money, you shouldn't have spent it on me,"

"I couldn't think of anything better to use it on," He said, and my breath caught. I blushed, which only made his smile get wider.

After about three minutes of your typical, romance movie, gazing into each other's eyes we realized that we still needed to order something to eat. We looked at the menus and when the waitress came by Jace ordered steak, medium rare, with a Coke and I ordered grilled salmon with a glass of iced tea. Once we placed our orders we talked about everything and nothing. I realized that even though I had already told him a lot, I still didn't tell him everything. I still didn't know if I ever could.

"Enough about me, what about you. Any skeletons in the closet I should know about?" I ask with a hint of a smile.

"Yes, actually, you should know that when I'm kissing you I'm thinking about Mayrse. I have a feet fetish. Oh and I was born with a tail and the doctors won't able to completely remove it," He said with a completely serious face. I stared at him like he had suddenly developed a serious case of Lepers disease.

He broke out laughing and when he was able to get a hold on his laughter he got out, "You should," Laugh. "See the look," Wiping away a tear. "On your face,"

"That was so not funny Jace," I said in a huff.

"I'm sorry but when you asked me if there were 'Skeletons in my closet' I just couldn't resist," He said, not looking sorry at all.

"You know I'd be seriously mad right now if I didn't know, for a fact, that your just avoiding my question," I say. _What now? The tables have turned_, I think smugly to myself.

"Fine, fine, fine. What do you want to know?" He asks, getting serious again.

"I don't know, a lot, everything," I say.

"Well let's start with the basics. My favorite color is green, my favorite food is spaghetti, my favorite movie is Die Hard, because Bruce Willis is a badass," I can't help but laugh at this. "Hey don't mock the Bruce, he is a truly kick-ass," He says, and this only makes me laugh more. He keeps talking, telling me so much about him, but I can sense he's holding something back from me. At first I'm hurt that he would keep something from me, but then I realize that I haven't been completely honest about my past either. Soon our food comes, and it is delicious. I mean melt in your mouth, tasty goodness.

I feel bad because I scarf down my food in a completely unladylike manner, but it's just too good. Jace just smiles and at one point says, "You know for a girl as skinny as you, you sure know how to eat," This makes me blush, but he's still smiling, so I feel better.

When all is said and done, Jace pays for dinner, though I insist on paying the tip, and then we take our time walking back to the Institute. "Thanks Jace, I had a really good time," I say after awhile.

"I did too. I just thought that if were going out, that I should at least take you out on a proper date," He said sheepishly. Wow Jace Wayland feeling a little sheepish, this is truly monumental.

"I'm glad, this was fun," I say.

"Better than your date with Sebastian?"

"Way better, in fact this is the best date I've ever been on," I say looking away, knowing this is probably, technically only my second date.

"Give me time, I'm sure I'll be able to top this," He says looking at me with a smile that makes me want to melt right there on the spot.

"I can't wait to see you try," I say, and by then we have made it back and are standing outside the door. He doesn't say anything, just leans in and kisses me, first on the cheek, then on the lips. Afterward he brought me to him and just held me in a soft embrace. We stood there a long time until he gave me one last good squeeze before we entered the house.

Neither of us noticing the man across the street on a bench, watching the whole scene unfold before his sorrowful eyes.

* * *

**Alright guys that's it, hook, line, and sinker. I hope you guys liked it, even though it was a bit of a filler chapter.**

**If you want to see their outfits for the website, visit my profile and I will post the links. I'm not even **

**going to try and put it here because Fanfic is a bitch about links and every time it doesn't work I feel like it's **

**rejecting me, and my ego really can't take that so yeah... :)  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys, sorry it took so long, but finals are gonna be over soon and **

**we'll be back in business, so that's good. I hope you guys liked**

**the story so far, I know I have. But then again I might be a tiny bit**

**biased. Anywho in case there were any misunderstadings:**

**I am not nor have I ever been Cassadra Clare and it is with much regret that**

**I must inform you that I do not own Jace's hot body ;)**

**

* * *

**

CPOV

_"Mom?" I ask my mom around a mouthful of double mint chocolate ice-cream._

_ "Yes dear?" My mom asks wiping my face off with a napkin._

_ "When will you die?" I ask, finishing my ice-cream with a crunch._

_ "What makes you ask that dear?" She asks with a worried face._

_ "This kid at school says that all mommies and daddies die and I just wanted to know when you would," I said nervously, mommy looked really worried now. I didn't like to make mommy worried._

_ "Not for a very long time. I will always be here to protect you Clarissa, do you here me?" Her voice slowly getting more urgent with each word._

_ "Yes mommy, I here you," I say._

_ "Good, you never have to worry about me not being here for you, okay?" She asks again._

_ "Okay Mommy. Can we go to the art museum you work at? Can we mommy?" I ask, but mommy's not there anymore. No one is, the whole entire ice-cream shop is void of people. I look around frantically for my mom, but I can't find her. I slip down from my stool and it immediately vanishes. I run over to the door and my tiny six year old fingers wrap around the handle. I yank it open and run out._

_ It takes me a minute to process my surroundings. I look around with my eyes squinted and see nothing. The street is stripped of anything that could resemble civilization. Down both ways of the street is nothing but more street, the rest is just a hazy gray fog. I call out for my mother over and over again._

_ "Mommy!" I scream to the top of my tiny lungs, but my voice doesn't carry far. "Mommy!"_

_ "Clary," I hear someone whisper, I think it's my mother so I yell for her again._

_ "Mommy!"_

_ "Clary," The voice says a little more urgently then before. I can feel my world being shaken now. The ground shaking angrily below me, knocking me to my feet, trying to bring me down further._

"Clary!" I hear Jace whisper-yell. My eyes opens and I shoot up in the bed, which makes me knock heads with Jace who was hovering inches above me.

"Ow! Jace what are you doing here?" I whisper-yell back.

"I don't know if your aware of this, but you were yelling. I came in here to see what was wrong, but you were still sleeping. I figured you were having a nightmare and tried to wake you up, but every time I said your name you mumbled something at me and refused to get up," He finished, looking at me worriedly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I say.

"Hey," He says brushing his hand against my cheek and pushing a strand of unruly hair behind my ear. "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault," I know he meant me dreaming, but it made me think of my mother's death, and how I had convinced myself it was my fault. I burst out into tears and leaned against Jace's shoulder. He got up from his squatting position and sat down on the bed next to me. He pulled me onto his lap and I curled myself up against him, and let the tears flow, not even bothering to try and bury them like I always do. I needed this, this release, this flow of emotion leaking out of me through tears.

Jace didn't say anything the whole time I cried, he just held and rocked me. Finally the sobs turned to silent tears and those turned to hiccups until I had finally got it all out of my system. I could tell by the way Jace's chest moved against my head that he was sucking in a breath to say something but I cut him off.

"Please Jace, I promise I will tell you tomorrow if we can just go to sleep now," I say in a pleading whisper.

"Of course Clary, whatever you need. Say the words and I'll do anything for you," He says with so much passion and conviction that I thought my head would explode because of all the emotion I felt.

"I just need you to hold me Jace," I say, already feeling the deep blackness of unconsciousness trying to take me under.

"Okay," Jace says in a hushed tone, while pulling the cover up around us.

I settled my self against him, my head buried in the crook of his neck, my legs tangled around his. I was just falling asleep and I thought I heard Jace say something, but it was to late, I was already gone.

JPOV

She settled herself against me, and I settled myself against the bed. I closed my eyes and just listened to her breath. I didn't know what was wrong, or what she had dreamed about, all I knew is that I had her safe in my arms and that she was real.

I felt her breathing start to slow down to the steady pace of sleeping, her chest rising and falling in a lulled rhythm.

"I love you," I whisper before I am taken over by sleep.

~X~X~X~

I woke up feeling completely refreshed, and yet dead tired at the same time. I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings yet, but I could here water running and I could smell the faint scent of lavender. I slowly open my eyes and my surreal bliss is shattered as I remember the events of last night. But it's not the memories that rock my boat, it's the fact that I can't find Clary. Her warm body isn't pressed up against mine, and I don't see her rummaging around her room.

I shoot out of bed and walk out of her room and am about to go downstairs when I hear water running again and recognize it as the shower. Quickly I rush over to the bathroom and start banging on the door. There's no answer at first, but then I hear the shower turn off. I knock furiously again, hoping with the water turned off, that the person inside would be able to hear me.

Just in case though, "Clary is that you in there?" I ask a little frantically. I can't believe I'm freaking out like this. But after how terrified she looked last night, I just can't imagine letting her out of my sight.

Just then the door opens to unveil Clary, dripping wet, and wrapped in only a plush purple towel. I looked at her for a moment, not able to do anything but stare. I was transfixed by the way droplets of water made a trail starting from her hair, sliding of onto her shoulder, and rolling down her chest until it reached the towel. I was so caught up in it, that I almost didn't hear Clary when she said, "What's wrong Jace? You sound like there's a fire or something,"

I was tempted to tell her there was, just to see her run out of the house in just her towel, maybe it would fall and then-No! Those are not good thoughts to be thinking! _Of course they are._ No they're not, I won't screw things up because of stupid hormones. "No there's no fire, I just didn't no where you were. I woke up and you weren't there, so I guess I kinda freaked," I say scratching the back of my neck.

"I see, well here I am," She said looking at him curiously. Of course she's curious, I must sound like a crazy person. _Hey I know were not joined at the hip or anything, but when your not by my side I feel like I can't breath...so yeah._ Absolutely ridiculous.

"Here you are, only wearing a towel," I say, noticing with satisfaction that her face turned a pretty shade of red.

"Oh right, I better get dressed," She says starting to close the door, but I stop it with my hand.

"Don't do that on my account," I say with a suggestive smile that causes her to blush an even deeper red. God how I loved it when she blushed. I removed my hand and allowed her to close the door. Then I went to my room to get dressed really quick, just the usual pair of faded out jeans and a black tee. I went downstairs and started breakfast, ham and cheese omelets, before Clary finally emerged from the bathroom.

"Hey Reds, want an omelet?" I ask as she walks into the kitchen.

"Oh I can make breakfast," She says immediately. Of course sweet Clary doesn't want to impose.

"It's alright, I already started, so I don't really see any point in you finishing it," I tell her with a small smirk. I see her take in a sharp intake of breath, and my smirk grows. I can't help it, I love making her feel that way, all flustered and whatnot.

"Okay, but if you really-" She starts, but I cut her off.

"Seriously Clary, I got it," I say with a smile.

"Alright," And she pulls herself up so she is sitting on the counter, next to where I am cooking at the stove. We fall into a comfortable silence, I cooked and she watched seemingly fascinated. I finished up our omelets and slid them onto plates. Finally I set them on the table with two glasses, milk and orange juice and we sat down. Before I dug in, I watched Clary take a bite and saw her eyes widen in shock.

She moaned and I felt my nether regions twitch at the sound. "Wow, this is really good. I mean like the stuff I see on Rachel Ray good. I didn't know you cook," She says looking at me as she pours herself a glass of milk.

"Yeah well, what can I say? I guess I aced foods class," I say, digging into my own breakfast to distract my self from my problem down under.

"I would certainly say so," She said and then another silence falls as we eat. When we finish we put our dishes away and then kind of just stand there awkwardly. We were both still getting used to being in the same room without trying to kill each other.

"Hey where's everyone else?" She asks abruptly.

"Oh you know, out and about. I think Iz is out shopping. Alec had to take Max to soccer practice and then was going to head over to the book store," I say.

"Oh," Was all she said and then looked around the kitchen, no doubt looking for something to talk about. Since our riveting conversation had come to a stand-still I decided to take advantage and ask the question that's been on the back of my mind since last night.

"What did you dream about?" I ask warily, not wanting to come off officious or anything.

She looks at me a moment, like she's considering something. I see her come to a decision, the conviction settling into her eyes. "Come with me," She says and takes me up to her room. She sets me down on the bed and I watch as she moves over to her dresser. She takes some clothes and moves them all to one side, she messed with somethings, moving and adjusting til she found the thing she was looking for and walked back over to me. She sat down on the bed, cross-legged in front of me and handed me what was in her hands. It was a picture of a family. There was a mom on the left with crimson red hair and piercing green eyes. On the right was a man, with slightly graying deep black hair, and tight dark eyes. In front of the mom was a small girl with unruly orange curls on either side of her face, which was covered in freckles, and innocent green eyes. Next to her was a boy, he looked about four years older than her, and he had jet black hair and dark eyes. I realized that this must have been Clary's family.

"That was my family," She confirmed in a small voice. I looked at a smaller version of Clary, and believe me she was small seeing as she's only 5' right now, and a small smile became evident on my face. She looked so happy, genuinely happy. Not like now, she was happy sure, but there was always an undertone of sorrow. Sorrow from losing her family so young, I knew that sorrow.

"You look just like your mom," I say and this makes her burst out into tears. I pulled her onto my lap and started rocking her. "I'm sorry, that was stupid I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry," I say in a rush, not being able to bear the thought that I brought on those tears.

Through her sobs she said, "It's alright, your right I do look just like her. Which is why it hurts every time I look into the mirror," Another sob escapes her before she can continue. "That's what I dreamed about last night,"

"You mother?" I ask in a soothing voice.

"Yeah, it's the same every time. It's about this time we went out for ice-cream, I ask her if she will ever die, and she says that she will always be here to protect me. But when I ask her if we can go somewhere, she's not there anymore and I run out of the shop and into a deserted street. It's surrounded by this _awful_ fog that I can never see through. Then there's an earthquake and a fall through. And that's when I wake up," She finishes. God I feel so horrible how could Clary, my sweet, innocent, precious, selfless, Clary be forced to suffer like this. It's like some sick cosmic joke, only no one's laughing.

"God Clary I am so sorry," I say wiping the tears off her soft cheek with my calloused thumb.

"Don't be, it's not your fault," She laughs a humorless laugh. "I guess it's no one's fault," Then in a barely audible whisper. "I hope,"

I want to ask her what she means by that, but I think better of it. When she's ready she'll tell me. Instead I say what I hope are comforting words, "That doesn't make the pain any less worse. I know the crushing grief that takes you over every time you have to think about it. How it feels like there is absolutely now way to recover, like your world has come crashing down on you from all sides and there's nothing you can do about it. I know better than most," I say bushing her now damp hair behind her ear.

"What happened to you Jace, why are you here," She asks, straightening up in my lap to look at me better. The effort is futile, though, because I refuse to look her in the eye.

"That's for another time Clary," I say.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" She asks with this lost puppy dog look in her eyes that makes me almost give in. But, alas, I can't bring myself to tell her, tell her how weak I was, how much I screwed up.

So instead I said, "I know, and when I'm ready, I promise you'll be the first to know," I say with a smile that makes Clary smile. I'll never get over the fact that I can make her smile, just me, Jace, in all my assyness.

"Good," She says, no longer crying anymore.

CPOV

I feel my tears dry up and I'm filled with a weird sense of joy that Jace wants to come to me first. He wants to tell me, he just can't yet. I understand that, it took me forever to say anything. In fact when I finally did open up, to Izzy, I didn't even tell her the whole story. Not nearly as much as I just told Jace, I felt like I had just given him part of my soul, and I was strangely okay with that. Better than okay, even, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and transferred to him. He was helping me bear the weight of my sorrow and I just hope that one day he will allow me to return the favor.

"I suppose we should do something with our day other than wallowing in self-pity," I finally say, looking up into Jace's impossibly golden eyes.

"Is that what were doing," He says with a smirk. "Wallowing in self-pity,"

"That's exactly what were doing, and I think it's about time we move on to something else, don't you?" I ask.

"Oh I agree," He says with a mischievous look in his eyes, and then his lips touch mine and all coherent thought is poof, gone, out the window. He kisses my lips hungrily and I kiss back with as much intensity, tangling my tongue with his own. His hands traveled down my body until he reached the hem of my shirt. Slowly, tentatively, he slipped his hand underneath the thin fabric and let it roam my stomach, waist, and back.

His touches sent fire through me, rushing through my veins, igniting my very core. The feeling was too much and not enough at the same time. I trailed my hand down his chest until I reached the hem of his shirt. I tugged on it and he complied by taking his shirt off. Once the offending article was on the floor he attacked my neck, kissing and nibbling at it in a way that made me squirm beneath him.

And it was in that position, him hovering over me with his shirt off and his hand up my shirt, that Mayrse caught us. "Clary dear, were ho–" she stops mid-sentence when she sees the scene displayed before her. Her face goes from shock to anger to confusion in a matter of seconds before landing on her usual cool persona. "If you will please make yourselves decent, Robert and I would like to speak to you. Now," and with that she shut the door and all that was left was the loud click of her heels on the hard-wood floor.

~X~X~X~

We were sitting at the kitchen table, Mayrse and Robert facing us from one side, Jace and I facing them from the other. Mayrse looked cool and ready to take on anything we could throw at her. Robert however, looked like he was about to piss his pants. He kept pulling at the collar of his shirt and looking around the kitchen uncomfortably.

"So, um, Mayrse," Robert starts finally looking at us. "has told me about the rather...compromising position she found you two in and we feel that we should address it," then he looks at Mayrse expectantly.

"Yes, quite. You two have lived under the same roof for six years and we have never had any reason to be suspicious that you had romantic feelings for each other. In fact, if I recall correctly, you two rather hated each other," she paused to look at the both of us. "Has this been a facade so that we would not suspect what you two were doing?" she asked looking from me to Jace like she could glare the answers out of us.

"No, of course not. We really hated each other, I swear," I say.

"Then how long have you two...not been hating each other?" asks Robert.

"I'd say about a week, maybe a little longer," I say.

"And when did you plan on telling us about the alteration in your relationship?" Mayrse asks.

"Oh, well, um... You guys have been working a lot, so really haven't had a chance," I stutter out.

"Yes, well, we are here now and we would like to know the extent of your relationship," Mayrse says looking back and forth between me and Jace again. Like she can tell what is going on just by looking at us.

"Oh, um, we are together I guess you could say. I mean Jace is my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend, but we haven't exactly gone public," I say unsure of myself.

"And why haven't you?" asks Mayrse folding her hands on the table. _God I feel like I got sent to the principal._

"I guess we just couldn't figure out how to tell the others. I guess," I'm really treading in murky waters now.

"You guess, or you know?" asks Mayrse.

I don't know what to say, I get out a simple "I–" and then my vocal cords totally failed.

"What about you Jace? You have been uncharacteristically quiet during this whole ordeal," Mayrse says turning on Jace.

"I think...that it is none of your fucking business," he says looking her square in the eye.

"What did you just say?" asks Mayrse her eyes blazing with fury, her cool mask slowly melting.

"I said that it is–" but Mayrse cuts him off.

"I heard what you said," She said her face slowly getting red.

"Don't talk to your mother that way," Robert said speaking up for the first time in a long time.

"My mother is dead," he spit out.

"Jace," I say putting my hand on his arm. "Your overreacting, it's fine. Really."

"No, Clary, it's not fine. They're just sitting there looking all superior, asking you question after question that just make you feel bad. They have no right, like I said; It's none of their fucking business."

"The hell it isn't," Robert says finally getting a hold of his words. "You listen to me, boy, you live under my house and under my rules. And you will do as I say," He says. I'm so shocked, Robert had never talked to any of us like that, no matter what we did.

"And what do you say 'Pops'?" Jace asked putting are quotes around pops.

"I say that I don't want you two getting intimate in my house and I say that I never want to hear you talk like that to me or Mayrse again," he looked angry still, but it didn't get pass us that he called her Mayrse and not 'your mother' again.

"Fine we'll find another house to do it under," Jace said getting equally angry.

"Jace," I gasp. "why are you acting like this?"

"Because they've pretty much ignored us since we got here, always away on business trips and now they want to act like their our parents all of sudden. God I don't even know why you adopted us in the first place when you obviously don't want us here," and with that Jace jumped out of his chair, causing it to crash to the floor and walked out of the room. We heard the front door slam close and we just sat there in an awkward silence.

"Well, I think that went well," Mayrse said as sarcastically as she could manage.

"Excuse me," I say and quickly walk out of the room and toward the front door. I got out and was down the driveway in a matter of seconds, ready to run after Jace, when I heard a voice behind me.

"Sneaking off to find your boyfriend?" Jace asks from behind me. I turn around and don't see him at first until I look down and see him laying in the grass.

"I don't know, I'm not sure he's worth it at this point," I say not moving from where I stood.

"Probably not," he says. I sigh and go over to where he is laying and sit down next to him. I'm facing him and I can see the way he looks up at the stars, with longing.

"Why did you blow up like that Jace?" I ask quietly.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he says and pauses for a second before moving on. "I could just see the way they were making you feel bad and I hated how they thought they could just step in and out of our lives at their convenience. I couldn't bear it."

"Jace, you know as well as I do that they do a lot for us. They gave us a room over our heads, fed us. Jace they gave us a family," I say brushing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes.

"I suppose your right. Why am I not surprised?" he says never once opening his eyes.

"Because I'm always right," I say with a small smile.

At that he does open his eyes and leans up so that he's sitting up too. "Is that so?"

"Of course and the sooner you learn that the smoother this will all go."

"Well I don't think I can argue with that," he said before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine in a short, sweet kiss. I pull back and lay down on the grass, and he does the same. He's so close that I can feel his arm brushing up against mine. Then again, I would probably feel his breath on my cheek a mile away, that's how hyper-aware I was of him.

I look up at the stars and immediately feel a pang of guilt. A sigh escapes my lips as I look at the dwindling twinkles above me. "What's wrong?" Jace asks me.

"Don't you ever look up at the stars and feel guilty that we have polluted our beautiful skies so much that we can barely even see the stars," I ask.

"All the time," he says surprising me, I didn't know that he cared about the environment, or anything other than himself.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. I may not be an artist like you Clary, but I can still appreciate beauty," He says, no longer looking at the sky. I smile at him and look him in the eyes. They were brighter than the stars and always flaming with passion. As I looked into his eyes all saw everything he felt for me, the admiration, joy, longing, hope, and...love. I saw love in his eyes. _That can't be right though, Jace doesn't love me._ But that's the only word I could come up with to describe the look in his eyes.

"Come on," he said breaking me out of my reverie. "We better get inside."

I let it go for the time being, but I would ask him about it later. "Okay."

~X~X~X~

Needless to say Mayrse and Robert were still furious and Jace tried to patch up things as best as he could, but he had screwed up. Bad. Finally though, they allowed us to go to bed. I walked slowly up the steps and gave Jace a quick goodnight kiss before entering my room. I laid down on my bed and tried to fall asleep, but I just couldn't. So instead I retreated to my only solace, drawing. I walked over to where I had left by sketchbook by the window and sat down on the window seat.

I looked down and found that same figure sitting on the bench. It was so weird that how he was always there. He looked different today, though. His shoulders were still slumped, but only slightly and of course he looked sad, but there was conviction in the way he held himself. Suddenly he sat up and started to walk in the direction of the Institute, but stopped halfway here. He looked longingly at the building then shook his head and walked away.

I felt the same grief start to wash over me that always came when he was around as he walked away. Like I was saying goodbye to someone for the second time. Next time I saw him, I would go find out who he was.

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**So that's that i guess, tell me if you liked it our not. **

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	10. Chapter 10

**Okay guys sorry it took so long to post this but finals are over so**

** you once again have my full and undivided attention. Yay! **

**Thanks a million guys for being awesome fans and btw I own nothing!**

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CPOV

The next morning Maryse informed us that we were grounded until further notice and Robert informed us that we were grounded for the rest of our natural lives. So I'm assuming that they'll notify us when our natural lives end.

It's been about a week since then and what a horrible week it has been. We couldn't use ours phones or computers and we were not allowed to leave the house unless it was to go to school. We had to come home right after and on top of all of that me and Jace are no longer allowed in the same room alone.

Needless to say that, that has caused some frustration. The only time we were ever really together was at school and even then we only got in a couple chaste kisses. It's absolutely horrible, I mean we've barely been together a couple of week and already we barely get to see each other. And we live in the same house!

Luckily, though, I had a project in History and Simon was my partner. That means that I got to go to Simon's house today and work on it. I'd rather be with Jace, but it's nice to get out of the house. Plus me and Simon haven't spent a lot of time together lately and I was begging to miss him.

I walked down the stairs with my bag hanging off my shoulder and almost ran into Mayrse. "And where do you think you are going missy?" She asked in a very clipped tone.

"T-to Simon's remember? W-we have a project for H-history," I stuttered out. Mayrse was still very scary when she was pissed and she has been pissed all week.

"Ah, I remember. Well I expect you back in exactly two hours and if you aren't I'm calling the police. Are we clear?" she asked her cold eyes piercing into me making me want to whimper out of fear.

"Yes Ma'am," I choked out.

"Very well, you may go," and she stepped out of my way. I quickly walked away from her and towards the door, but not before running into Jace.

I was about to tell him to get out of there before Mayrse caught us in the same room, when he put a single finger up to his lips. Gesturing for me to keep quiet. With a smile he slipped a piece of folded up paper in my jacket pocket and left the room. I contemplated reading it now, but thought better of it because Robert or Maryse could catch me.

I left the house and walked a block in the direction of Simon's house––yes I know I'm paranoid––before I took the note out of my pocket. I slowly unfolded it and smoothed out the creases. Meet me in Bennett park at midnight – J I smiled down at the note and folded it back up and slipped it into my pocket. I don't know how Jace expected either of us to get out of the house, but when there's a will, there's a way and I guess Jace had a way. I wondered why he chose Bennett park, it was further away and almost nobody used it anymore.

In a matter of minutes I was bounding up the steps to Simon's front door. I rang the doorbell and waited for Mrs. Lewis to open the front door.

"Why hello Clary," she said when she saw me. "We haven't seen you here in awhile, where have you been?" she asked with a bright smile.

"Oh you know, busy, busy, busy," _with being grounded_, I added internally.

"Well come on in, Simon is upstairs in his room," she opened the door wider so I could get through and thanked her. I leaped up the stairs and found Simon in his room with headphones on and playing some game on his computer.

"Simon," he didn't even flinch. "Simon," I said a bit louder this time. Still nothing. I walked over to where he was sitting and pulled one of the ear buds out and yelled, "Simon!" he all but fell out of his chair.

"Jesus Clary! Was yelling really necessary?" he asked incredulously while he exited out of Starcraft.

"Well yeah, I called your name and you didn't even flinch so I felt yelling was the only solution," I said simply.

"Well some of us would beg to differ," he said moving from his computer desk to his bed. He patted the spot next to him and I made my way over to him.

"So hows it been going on this neck of the woods?" I asked.

"Oh you know, nothing much. School, homework, flying monkeys."

"So the usual?"

"Yup, yup," I couldn't help but laugh at our conservation, Simon had a quirky sense of humor and that's why I loved him.

"What about you? Haven't seen you in awhile."

"I got grounded," I mumbled.

"What is this I hear. Sweet and innocent Clary was grounded? Whatever for, pray tell?" he said in the worst, and I mean _worst, _British accent I have ever heard.

"Um, well, yeah, about that..." I trailed off unsure how to finish the sentence.

"Would it be because you and Jace were caught getting hot and heavy by Mayrse?" he asked.

"What? How did you know?"

"Dude, I'm dating your step-sister, you didn't think that she might have told me?" he asked.

"Dammit. You know I love Izzy but that girl has got one big mouth," I said scowling at the air.

"Hey now, that's my girlfriend your talking about," he said with mock hurt.

"She was my step-sister before she was your girlfriend so I can say whatever I want about her," I said defiantly.

"Touche."

"So I guess we should get started on that history project huh?" I asked reluctantly. I had forgotten how much fun it was to just hang with Simon and I didn't want to have to get down to business already. But if we didn't do it now, it would never get done.

"Ah, but mom, do we have to?" he asked in his most whiny voice. I only laughed at him, though.

"Yes, otherwise we'll fail and your real mom would ground you. Then we'd both be grounded and that wouldn't do me any good because then I wouldn't be able to live my life vigorously through yours," I said getting up from the bed to retrieve my bag.

"Wow, I think living my life is more punishment then being grounded."

"You have no idea," I said bringing the bag back to the bed. I grabbed my History binder and pulled out the instructions. "It says we can either do it on the rise and fall of the Roman Empire," I pause and look at Simon whose face is scrunched up like a French Bulldog's. "Okay I'll take that as a no. We could do it on the Mayan civilization," I said but he still looked skeptical so I moved on. "Or, last but not least, we could do it on the Medieval period," at this his face did light up. "Before you ask though, that does not mean we can do our report on Dungeons and Dragons."

"Must you assume that I am the biggest nerd in the world?" He asked feigning hurt.

"Yes, but never forget, your _my_ nerd," I say.

"And for that I am eternally grateful. But seriously I think it would be cool to do it on the Dark Ages. You know with nights and kings and battles. Oh and there's even princess' for you so you can't complain," he said already staring off into space with a look in his eyes that looked like a kid's who was dreaming of being an astronaut.

"Must _you _assume that I am the biggest girl in the world?" I asked directing his previous question back to him.

"Yes, yes I must," he said coming back to the reality.

"So it's decided then," I said.

"I would say so."

We worked on our project for the next hour. It was a big one so we were only able to get some research done. Plus me and Simon kept getting sidetracked. Finally though it was time to go and I said my goodbyes to Simon and his mother. I made the long walk back to my house listening to Linkin Park on my Mp3. Jace had recently turned my on to the band when I noticed that was the icon on his shirt that I was wearing not to long ago. The thought made me blush and reminded me of the note Jace had given me. I was suppose to meet him at the park at midnight only I didn't know how I was going to do it. How either of us was going to do it.

He probably expected me to sneak out of the house, only trouble is I've never done that before. Never had to up until now, but I guess there's a first for everything.

~X~X~X~

The clock said 11:45pm and I knew that I needed to sneak out soon, otherwise I'd never make it. My veins were pumping with adrenalin and yes I know it's stupid that I'm this worked up about sneaking out, but what can I say? I slipped my converse on and slowly tiptoed down the stairs, cringing every time they creaked. I made it into the hallway and very carefully made my way towards the door.

I reached it and put my hand on the handle and stopped. I don't know if I can do this, maybe I shouldn't, maybe I should––

"Going out for a midnight stroll?" I heard a familiar voice coo out behind me.

JPOV

I made it to the park around 11:45pm and I hoped that Clary didn't follow habit and show up early. I started setting up what I had planned and smiled at the thought of what Clary's face would look like when she saw what I had planned. _God I am so whipped_, I thought to myself and couldn't help but cringe before shaking the feeling off. It took some getting used to, knowing that I was in a serious relationship with someone. Especially since that someone was Clary.

It was weird knowing that someone else depended on me, needed me, _wanted me_. All my life I was told I was useless, that I wasn't worth it. Even when Mayrse and Robert adopted me I still felt like I was a burden to them somehow. Clary made that feeling go away, she made me feel wanted.

I finished setting up and sat down on the blanket I had just put down. My plan was to have a sort of midnight picnic. I had packed a couple of sandwiches, lemonade, and of course apples and peanut-butter. I had become keen on this particular snack since Clary had introduced it to me. I had also set up a boombox with a CD with commonly romantic songs including ––these were recommended by Izzy just for the record–– I'm Yours by Jason Mraz and You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift. _More evidence that I am totally whiped_.

"Jace?" a voice that I knew all to well called out behind me. I slowly turned and saw Clary standing before me in _very_ tight fitting jeans and a deep emerald shirt that matched her eyes and dipped just enough to get a peak. I groaned internally at the sight and swore. _I swear this woman is trying to kill me_. Though I do think it should go as a testament to my self-control that I didn't just rip her clothes off then and there. But I suppose that wouldn't be the gentlemanly thing to do, now would it?

"Hello Clary," I said.

"Jace what's going on, why did you ask me to come out here?" she asked.

"I thought it was obvious. I can't take you out on a proper date during the day, so I had to settle for night," I slowly stepped out of her line of view so she could see the picnic that I had sat up. I heard her take in a breath as I turned to play the music. When I turned around Clary was looking at me with tears in her eyes. I rushed over to her and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Hey, why are you crying?" I asked soothingly, this is not how it played out in my head.

"I'm not I just– Thank you Jace, I can't believe you set this up," she said and put her arms around my neck. I put mine around her waist and buried my face in her hair. It smelled just like strawberries.

"Come on," I finally said. "we have a picnic to eat and I'd like to get to it before the ants do."

She laughed and followed me to the blanket where we sat down and I handed her, her sandwich. I got my own out and we ate in a comfortable silence, both of us sneaking glances at each other. When we finished the sandwiches I got out the apples and peanut-butter and lemonade. I saw her eyes light up at her favored snack.

"Thanks Jace, this is perfect," she said.

"It's no problem," I tried to say around the peanut-butter, but it just came out in a jumbled mess. Clary laughed and leaned over to wipe some peanut-butter off the corner of my mouth. And then, _oh God_, she did this most evil, delectable thing. She brought the finger with the creamy brown substance on it to her lips and licked it off. I couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips. She cocked her head and looked at me with a curious look. She figured out what had just happened and her face lit up with embarrassment.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"It's no problem," I said still staring at her lips. I shook my head, tonight was about her and her needs. I needed to stay strong but hell if she wasn't trying to completely crumble my self-control. We finished the rest of our snack and lemonade.

"That was delicious Jace. Thanks."

I chuckled a little. "You keep thanking me and you haven't even seen the best part yet." she gave me a questioning look and I just laid back with a smirk.

She followed suit and I could tell when she looked up at the sky because I heard her breath catch. I looked up at the beautiful sky displayed before us. The stars shone bright and seemed to light up the whole sky. This is why I chose Bennett park, because it was the furthest from the city that was in a reasonable distance. The smog was less heavy the further away you got from the city and out here the sky was more clear. More beautiful.

"Jace, it's amazing," she said like I had personally cleaned up the sky. I looked over to her and she looked up at the sky with a childlike innocence in her eyes, like she was seeing it for the first time. I saw her hand twitch and it brought a small smile to my face.

"You want to draw it," I guessed.

"Sometimes I think you know me too well."

"If you think I know you too much now then your going to be knocked out the park by this, no pun intended," I said and turned to the opposite side and grabbed the last items out of the picnic basket and handed them to her.

"My sketch book!" she exclaimed and my smile broadened. _Oh yeah, I'm good_. She turned to me. "Thank you, but Jace I don't want to draw if your just going to sit there, you'll get bored," she said looking concerned. Of course I do something for her and she's worried about how its affecting me. Typical.

"Trust me, watching you draw is enough to keep me preoccupied," I said and she blushed. I will never be over how beautiful she looked when she blushed.

She sat up and balanced the book on her knees and got to work with her number two pencil. I watched her face change from lightness to concentration. I watched as her deft hand brushed strokes across the page, slowly taking in the scene before her and transferring it to the crisp page. She looked absolutely radiant while she drew, like she was at total peace. I liked seeing that look on her face, completely dearth of her usual sadness.

I smiled while I watched her and didn't once look away. We sat like that for at least fifteen minutes before she looked up from her sketch book and scrutinized me, drinking in every detail. Then her head dipped back to her sketch. This went on for a little while longer, I wasn't sure what she was doing but I had a hunch that she was drawing me so I stayed completely still. Finally she put the pencil down and looked at the picture before her, she made a couple change here and there until she felt it was perfect.

"Okay, I think I'm done," she said in a soft voice.

"Can I see it?" I inquired.

She looked skeptical for a moment, but she passed it over to me and I looked down at the artwork. It was amazing, she truly was a great artist. The picture showed a beautiful night washed across the page in dips and swirls. The sketch was more radiant then the actual sky. And in the bottom right-hand corner was a picture of me. I'd say it looked exactly like me except the eyes, which were warm and soft. I don't think my eyes would ever be capable of looking that way.

I looked up and saw Clary was fidgeting with her thumbs, like she was scared I might not think it was good. "I had no idea I was sharing a house the most talented artist of her time," I said. Of course she blushed but a smile still broke out on her face.

"It's not that good, really it's just a sketch," she said modestly.

"If this is only a sketch I bet your real work would put Van Gogh to shame," at this she blushed again and really I would keep saying things like this just to get her to blush.

"Did you get out of the house okay?" I asked just out of curiosity, but she blushed.

"Oh, um, yeah. I mean I guess so," she said still blushing furiously.

"Is there something you want to tell me Clary," a hint of amusement in my voice.

"Oh well nothing really just," she paused and looked at me like she was deciding whether or not she could get away with lying. Apparently she decided she wasn't because next she blurted out, "I ran into Izzy."

"Well that's not too bad," I said, but she snorted.

"Oh I beg to differ."

"Is that so, what happened?" I asked, my curiosity spiking. If I thought I had seen her blush before she was the color of a firetruck now.

"Well, we, um, talked and, um, yeah," she said trying to leave it at that.

"What about?"

"Oh you know just girl stuff."

"Well seeing as I'm not a girl, no, no I don't know. Please, do tell."

"Let's see, she asked where I was going and I told her–– I didn't see any reason to lie–– and she just...gave me some sisterly advice." she said picking her words carefully.

"And that sisterly advice would be along the lines of..."

"You are nosy, you know that?" she said, but I was not going to let her put this off.

"Uh, uh no stalling. Come on Clary you can tell me anything. I mean really how bad can it––"

"She gave me a condom!" she yelled out abruptly. I stared at her for about half a second before bursting out into laughter. And I'm talking bust a gut, laugh my ass off, tears in my eyes laughing. "Why are you laughing? This is _so_ not funny Jace," she said pushing me lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said between heaves of laughter. "It's just so _Izzy_. And with you being so, so...innocent. I mean you have got to see the comedy in all of this," I said but my smile left my face as soon as I saw hers. _Obviously not_. "Or maybe not."

"Of course not, I mean does that mean she thinks were doing it and does she really think we would do it without protection. I mean when we do, do it you'd think she's assume that we were responsible..." she trailed off after seeing the look in my eyes. "What?"

"You said 'when we do it'" I said.

"What? No I didn't, I said if."

"No you said when."

"Oh."

I took in a shaky breath before asking my next question. "Do you want to?"

"I-I don't know. I mean we've only been going out for a couple weeks Jace, but..."

"But what?"

"I just- I just feel like it's been longer, you know? I mean I know for the longest time we hated each other but now...now I can't imagine life not being with you." she finished.

"I know what you mean," and boy did I. I wanted so badly to tell her that I loved her just then. I mean I know I already did, but she was asleep. What if she doesn't love me back. _Oh don't be stupid look at her, of course she loves you._ I looked into her eyes and I saw a mixture of emotions, confusion, vulnerability, and yes, I think I saw love. But what if I'm wrong. _Do you think Romeo ever stopped to wonder if he was wrong about Juliet?_ Yeah, but he was in love with Rosalie at the beginning and he was wrong about that. _That's not the point!_

Suddenly I was brought out of my inner monologue by Clary saying something, "Jace?"

"What?" I asked.

"I asked you what you wanted to do," she said in a small voice.

"It's not about what I want to do, if your not ready then I'm not ready. End of story," I said in a voice that made it clear she would not change my mind on the matter.

"Thank you, Jace. That really means a lot to me."

"It really is no problem Clary. I will wait for you as long as you need, for the rest of my life even," then I sucked in a breath and jumped over the deep end, the point of no return. "I love you Clary."

Her eyes widened in shock and she just sat there, still as a statue, just staring at me. Then she caught me off guard by throwing herself on me and crashing her lips on mine. The kiss was fierce and passionate, my arms tightly wound around her waist, her hands tangled in my hair. We explored each other and the feeling of her warm muscle moving against my own sent chill down my spine, right down to my toes.

When we finally came up for air we stared at each other a long time. Finally we caught our breath and Clary spoke up. "Jace I can say, with absolute certainty, that you are the _best_ thing that has ever happened to me. You make me feel so alive and just...happy, like the world isn't as bad as it seems. You make me fill strong and confident and beautiful. No one has ever made me feel that way. So if you couldn't already tell by the way I just kissed you, I want you to know that I love you too. With all my heart and soul Jace, I love you."

I was stunned by her words and it took me a second to process it all. When if finally hit me a big goofy grin spread across my face and I almost laughed with how happy I was. She loves me, just me, not my looks and not because she thinks I'm some lost soul that she can save, she just loves me.

I leaned up and gave her the most soft and gentle kiss that I could manage, trying to convey all of my emotions into this one kiss. She responded gratefully and with just as much emotion. I wanted to live in this moment forever, it was so perfect...

Beep, beep, beep, beep. We broke apart abruptly and I looked down at my wrist. It was my watch going off saying it was two pm and time to go. I told Clary this and we quickly cleaned up the picnic and made our way back to the Institute. All the while we had big smiles on our faces and we occasionally stopped to share a sweet or heated kiss.

We made it to the door and were just about to go in when a voice called out from behind us. "Clary?"

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**Whuh oh someone did a cliffy! Sorry guys but I just had to do it, there was no avoiding it.**

**Also in case any of you actually live in New York all I know is that Bennett park is a real park there. **

**I don't know it's actual location so bare with me aight. You guys are awesome and don't forget to REVIEW!  
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	11. Chapter 11

**'Kay guys I'm so super duper sorry that I haven't updated recently, but**

**as you can see this was a long-ass chapter. And now, with swim team**

**starting up, it's just been hectic. Now a lot of you have requested that **

**update once a week and I promise I will try, but it's hard. I hope you**

**guys like this chapter, I'm definitely going to throw you guy off your rockers**

**from now on.  
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**Disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been Cassandra Clare and own nothing.**

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CPOV

"No!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, practically shrieked. People in the registrant looked over at us, but I didn't care.

"Clary– "

"No, no you can't make me."

"Clary it's not that simple."

"Yes it is, you want to take me away from here, from my family!" my anger growing by the second.

"They're not your family Clarrisa!"

"And neither are you, not anymore," ever since he showed up here my life has been crumbling around me and I was tired of it. He made his choice a long time ago and now I'm making mine. I got up from the table and walked out the door. I didn't look back.

I quickly walked through the streets heading toward the institute. I pushed past people and barely registered that they were yelling at me, but I didn't care. I just needed to get back home, get back to my family, get back to _Jace_. I wanted to get back to the familiar feel of Jace's arms around me, his scent encompassing me, his warmth. I wanted it all, I knew I was being selfish, but that didn't matter.

I crashed through the door and ran up the stairs and toward Jace's room. I walked the familiar halls of the institute, my hands trailing against the sandy wallpaper. Finally I reached his door. I didn't bother with knocking. When the door was open I rushed in and saw Jace sitting on the edge of his bed with his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. At the noise I made coming in he looked up and I saw something that I had never seen before. Jace was crying.

"Clary?" he asked like he wasn't sure if I was real.

"Jace," I said and rushed over to him and threw myself into him. He tentatively wrapped his arms around me, like he still wasn't sure I was real. "It's me Jace. I'm really here."

"Are you?" he asked, childlike wonder in his voice.

I let out a humorless laugh, "Yes."

"I thought– I thought that you would have wanted to go with him-"

"Jace how could I go with him after all of this. I told you before and I'll tell you again; the only place I want to be is with you and if he wasn't okay with that, then I don't want anything to do with him," I said with finality.

He pulled back a little to look at me, but never once letting go. "Clary I don't want you to give up your family for me."

"I'm not, God Jace are you really that thick-headed? You, Izzy, Alec, Max, Mayrse, Robert. You guys are my family, not him," he looked down at me, staring into my eyes like he was looking for something. He found it I suppose because a minute later his eyes lite up and a big smile grew on his face.

"I love you, you know that right?" he asked that beautiful smile never once leaving his face.

"I know, I love you too." we stood like that a long time, me in his arms, him with his head buried in my hair. Finally Jace suggested we go to bed and what with everything that had went on lately, we figured it would be okay to sleep in the same bed. And if it wasn't...well we'd cross that road when we had to.

We slipped under the covers and we got comfortable. I snuggled up against Jace and he put his arms around me. As we laid there, trying to slip into sleep I thought about everything that had, had happened in the last three days.

~X~X~X~

_Day 1_

"Clary?" I heard a man ask behind me. I slowly turned away from the front door and toward the voice. I gasped in shock as I saw him standing before me. The boy that had raised me after my mother died and my dad walked out. After I was forced into a foster home. I stared at the boy who had gone to juvie and never bothered to find me afterward. _Jonathan_.

"Jon?" I asked tentatively, not sure if I had made a mistake or not.

"It's me Clary, you brother," he stared at me with the same wonder that I was sure was on my face.

"But how–" I started but was cut off.

"Please Clary I'll explain everything but first, can we go inside?" he asked like he wasn't sure I'd say yes.

"Sure, of course," we all piled inside and I walked in a daze over to the kitchen table.

"Clary!" I was greeted by Maryse pacing by the table. "Jace! Where have you two been, I thought I made it very clear that– Who is this?" she asked gesturing toward Jon.

"Mayrse I'd like you to meet Jonathan, my brother," she gasped and looked at him in shock.

"I thought you said he was in jail," she said once she got her bearings.

"I did, and he was, but he got out," I said mostly in a daze.

"I'm sorry to intrude," I heard Jon say, it was still so weird to hear his voice after all these years. It was the same, yet different. He still had that way of blocking his words, like he was always afraid he wasn't being clear enough, but his voice had gotten deeper. _He's a man now_, I realized. He was twenty-one to my sixteen. "but I would really like to speak to my sister. Alone if you don't mind," he added after he saw no one make a move to leave.

"Oh, um, why yes. Of course you would. We'll be in the living room if you need anything," Mayrse said a little flustered. Wow props to Jon, Mayrse never gets flustered. Mayrse left and I turned to see Jace still standing in the doorway. He stared right into my eyes, giving me a look that asked; _Do you want me to stay? _I gave him a look back that I hoped he would interpret as; _I'm fine._ After a few seconds Jace gave the slightest nod and left. I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding and turned to Jonathan. That breath was sucked right back in at the sight of him.

We stared at each other, both surveying the other. So much was the same, and yet so much was different. He still had that shocking black hair, but as a teenager it had always been in disarray. Now that he was older he kept it slicked back and away from his face. His face looked exactly the same just a little thinner and filled out. He seemed to be keeping better care of himself, like he maintained a healthy diet and worked out on a daily basis. He had definitely shot up a foot or two. Of course he was always taller than me, but now he seemed to tower over me.

I was just wondering what he was seeing when he looked at me when he finally spoke up, "Do you want sit down, we have a lot to talk about."

"I'd say," I sat down at the kitchen table across from Jon. Back when we were kids I would have been attached to his hip, but now things were different. I hadn't seen him in six years. "So..."

"I know this is awkward, and we haven't seen each other in awhile and I understand if you feel a little uncomfortable. Still, I want you to know that I still love you Clary, you'll always be my little sister. I will always look out for you."

Suddenly I was filled with anger. "Really, you'll always look out for me, huh? Well that's funny because I seem to remember hearing you say that six years ago when they took us away, and I believed you. I guess I was just stupid and naïve because you didn't look out for me, Jon. You left me in that home scared and alone!" I was gradually getting louder and by the end of it I was yelling at him.

"I know and I'm sorry, but it wasn't my fault–" he started but I cut him off.

"Oh don't give me that crap about it not being your fault. You left me and you know it."

"Clary," he said incredulously. "They sent me to jail, what was I suppose to do?"

"It was your fault you went there in the first place, Jon. If you hadn't picked a fight with every other kid in the foster home, this wouldn't have happened. And even if that wouldn't have helped, if you would have still gone to Juvie, it doesn't change the fact that you didn't come back for me when you got out," I said demanding an answers from him.

"I did come back for you!" he yelled and suddenly stood up from where he was sitting. "I asked them where they had taken you and they told me right here," he pointed down to the table as if it represented the whole house. "and I came to come take you away from here," he settled down, his voice now a barely audible whisper. "But when I got here you were so happy. For the first time in months, years even, I saw you really smiling. I couldn't take you away from that, not when I couldn't provide for you and make you happy like they seemed to."

I stared at my brother, but not really seeing him. I tried to process what he had just told me. _He came back for me._ Over and over in my head I said that little mantra like it was a prayer. _He came back, he came back, he came back._

I didn't even notice that Jon had come over to me until I felt his hand brush away the tears that had started to leak. "Please don't cry Clary, I didn't come all this way to see you cry."

I tried to stop the tears, but I couldn't. I was just too overwhelmed with emotion and finally Jon pulled me into a hug. We stood like that for what seemed like hours, but only turned out to be a few minutes because Mayrse reentered the kitchen.

"I didn't mean to intrude, I just noticed the talking had stopped and wondered if everything was okay," she said looking genuinely concerned.

"Everything's fine Mayrse," I said in a hoarse voice from crying. "Just a little overwhelming is all."

"I would expect so. Why don't you go upstairs and wash your face off and I'll make us all some tea?" she asked in a soothing voice that calmed me down like my real mother's used to.

"Okay," I said and slowly ascended up the stairs. I made it as far as the bathroom door before I felt a warm, familiar hand being laid on my shoulder.

"Are you sure your okay?" Jace asked. "You don't have to pretend with me, it's okay."

I turned to him and slowly walked into his waiting arms. I snuggled in close to his chest before saying, "Everything's fine, really. I just...wasn't expecting it to say the least."

He pulled back a little and put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up to look at him. He stared intently into my eyes before placing a small kiss on my lips. "I believe you."

I give him a small smile, "Good."

_Day 2_

I woke up in a daze. My head, feet, legs, hands, they all felt heavy. I slowly dragged myself out of bed and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like shit, in a nutshell. My hair was a rats nest and my face was still tears stained. I was surprisingly relieved by my appearance though, because it was evidence that yesterday really had happened. That it wasn't some crazy dream just there to open old wounds. Jonathan really was back and I was hoping instead of opening them, he could heal those wounds he left behind so long ago.

I didn't bother getting dressed yet, I wanted to take the day slowly. I didn't know what to expect but I'd rather be in my comfy pajamas and suffer through endless questions rather than just suffer. I made my way downstairs and everyone was sat at the table eating breakfast. When they noticed I had walked in there was dead silence, all of them just stared at me with this confused look, like they weren't sure how to act around me now. Except Jace who just gave me a knowing look and pulled out the chair next to him for me to sit in.

I made my way sheepishly over to the offered seat and sat down. Jace started piling food onto my plate, but I barely noticed. Why are they acting so weird? I mean I know my long lost brother(as cliché as that sounds) showed up yesterday, but that doesn't change anything, right? There not going to want to stop being my family just because my old family showed up. _They still love me, right?_

Suddenly I started to panic, I didn't want to be rejected by them. Jon may be my blood relative, but they were my family. Izzy was my crazy, awesome sister. Alec was my shy, gay brother. Max was my adorable, funny little brother. Mayrse and Robert were my loving, but strict, parents. And Jace, Jace was my everything. I loved all of them and I wasn't going to give them up just because Jon strolled into town. I just hope they feel the same for me.

"Are you going to leave us, Clary?" I heard Max squeak out from the other side of the table. I looked over at him and he looked close to tears. It broke my heart.

"Of course not honey, why would you think that?" I asked, though I knew what the answer would be.

"Because now that your brother's here, I thought you would want to go live with him. Because he's your real family."

At that moment I made a decision, and the next thing I said wasn't just directed at Max, it was directed at everyone. "Now you listen, and you listen good, I have never had a more real family then the one sitting in front of me. All of you have been here to love and support me and I would never give that up for anything or anyone. You understand?"

Max was smiling now and it brought a smile to my own face. "I understand, I love you too Clary."

"We all love you," Mayrse said, looking me straight in the eye. Her look was so motherly and protective at that moment that for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I had two mom's. I had a mom and I loved her very much, but she died in a car accident. I'm sure that she would want me to be happy and having Mayrse for my mother made me happy.

But of course our happy go lucky family time was cut short by a ring at the door. "I'll get it," I said automatically, having a good hunch who it was. I got up from the table and made my way toward the door, my feet getting heavier by the step. I didn't now if I could do this.

I opened the door, but I couldn't immediately see who it was because the light was too bright. My eyes didn't get a chance to adjust though, because something crashed into me.

"Clary!" I heard Simon gasp as he trapped me in the most tight bear hug he could manage. Which was very tight surprisingly.

"Simon! What are you doing here?" I was able to squeeze out of my airway.

"Izzy told me what had happened, but she told me at like ten pm, so I couldn't come over til now. And she said texting you about it would be a bad idea so I didn't, and now here I am. Are you okay?" he got out in one long breath. I was surprised he hadn't passed out from lack of oxygen. _I'm surprised I haven't passed out from this hug_, I thought to myself.

"I know it's easy for you to forget," I start. "but some of us have to breath," he immediately loosened his hold on me, but kept his hands on my shoulders. He bent to look me in the eyes. "And to answer your question I'm okay, just a little rattled is all."

"Rattled? Rattled! How can you just be rattled? Your brother, who you haven't seen for like a decade, all of a sudden shows up and all you can say is that your rattled? What the hell?" Simon said, starting to really freak out.

"Simon! Calm down!" finally he got his breathing under control and he looked at me. "It's okay, I mean it's really weird and confusing but I'm fine, alright? Just chill for a second. And it's only been six years."

"Same-diff," he said but he seemed to have calmed down.

"Whatever," I said backing away from him a little to survey him. He obviously came here in a rush. His hair was disheveled and he looked like he picked up whatever clothes happened to be on the floor and threw them on. Even his glasses were a little crooked. "Look, everyone is in the kitchen having breakfast, why don't you go get some?"

He gave me a hesitant look, but then his stomach growled and he couldn't deny the offer. "Yeah, okay."

We walked in and sat down, me in my original spot next to Jace and Simon seated next to Izzy. I had just started to dig into my food when the doorbell rang again.

I sighed but knew I had to be the one to answer it. "I'll get it."

Once again I got up from my seat and made my way toward the door. "Hello, Clary," Jon said once I opened the door.

"H-hi Jon," I said sheepishly. It was still weird to see him in the flesh right in front of me. I wonder if it will ever be like old times. When I would see him and it just felt normal, like he belonged here.

"May I come in?" he asked after a short while of me staring at him.

"Oh, um, yeah. Of course you can come in," I stepped aside to let him through.

"Thanks," he said as he crossed the threshold. "So I was wondering if you wanted to spend the day together. You know, so we can catch up."

"Uh, yeah. I mean I guess so," I finally spit out. _God why can't I formulate a sentence without stuttering?_

"Great, I'll wait for you to get ready."

"You mean you want to go now?"

"Well, yeah. I haven't seen you in so long Clary and I thought we would need the whole day to get to know each other again. I'm sure you've changed since I last saw you and _I know_ I've changed."

"Okay...then I guess I'll just go get ready," I said and then spun on my heel, headed for the kitchen. When I got in there everyone had stopped eating and I could tell that they had been eavesdropping on our conversation. "Jon wants to spend the day together. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Mayrse piped in.

"O-okay, then. I guess I'll just go get ready." the last statement sounded more like a question.

"Yes dear, you go get ready and we'll entertain your brother," I knew by entertain she meant interrogate. I was actually grateful that she seemed so protective of me, it made me feel like I was still part of the family. _Which I am._

I went upstairs and quickly ran a brush through my hair(I figured Jon wouldn't want to wait for me to take an actual shower) and threw on some jeans and a t-shit. I put on my favorite pair of high-tops and made my way back down the stairs.

I found everyone in the living room, Jon on one end and the rest of my family on the other. Everyone talked to him very curtly and it gave me the impression that they didn't welcome his presence. Why didn't they like Jon? Did they feel like he was intruding? Did he say something to upset them?

"You have no right to– " Mayrse was cut short when she saw that I had entered the room. I wasn't sure what they had been talking about, but she did not sound happy at where the conversation had turned to. "Clary, I see your ready. Well I suppose you two best be off," she said and then she did something that completely dumbfounded me. She got up from her seat, walked over to me and hugged me. A real, non-professional, warm hug. I hugged her back and she gave me one last squeeze before letting go.

Then the rest of the family got up and followed suit. Even Alec gave me a brotherly hug. Izzy trapped me in the tightest bear-hug of my life and I couldn't be sure, but I thought I felt something wet hit my shoulder. _Why would Izzy be crying?_ Max gave me a hug and put something in my back pocket, but he told me not to check it until I left.

Last there was Jace. He looked at me with such longing and hope and...sorrow. Why was everyone so sad? He pulled me into his embrace and I melted into his arms. His familiar feel and scent reassured me. He made me feel like no matter what happened we would get out of this alright. I liked the reassurance, the one constant in my crazy life. He pulled back a little and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, but I could still feel every emotion he was trying to convey. That one kiss felt like he was trying to let me go and hold on to me at the same time.

"I love you" he whispered so only my ears could here.

"I love you, too" I said in the same whisper. We broke apart and as I left I felt like it was final, like I had just said goodbye to my family for the last time. _But that's ridiculous, right? I'll be back, won't I?_

~X~X~X~

Me and Jon spent the day together and it was fun. I had checked my pocket once we had left and found that Max had given me his favorite comic book. It brought tears to my eyes that he would give me something like that. I would of course give it back, but still.

Me and Jon did all kinds of sight seeing, even though we lived here. Went out to lunch to a place we used to go to as kids. Everything was perfect till we were on our way home.

"You know it could be like this all the time," he started out, but I wasn't sure what he meant.

"What do you mean?" I asked, voicing my question.

"I mean we could spend all our time like this. Like old times, you and me against the world," he said with a small smile that I didn't return.

"We don't have to be against the world, Jon. We can be apart of it, it's not going to hurt us. Not anymore."

"I know, Clary. I guess I didn't word that right," he was quiet for a second, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. "Look, I'm 21 now, a full grown adult. I have a job and an apartment and money. Clary I can take care of you now," I didn't like where this was going. "Clary I'm asking if you'll come live with me. Be my baby sister again.

My breath caught in my throat and the interior of the cab we were in started to spin. I wanted Jon to be apart of my life, yeah, but...Did I want to live with him? It would be nice, always having him around. What would I have to give up, though? Surely he'd still let me see my family. I wouldn't see them as much though. We wouldn't be going to the same school, live in the same house. And what about Jace, I just got him and I didn't want to give him up. _You just got Jon back, too. _Was it the same, though?

"I don't know, Jon" I finally spit out.

"What do you mean? I thought you'd be happy."

"I am happy but, I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"I promise I won't leave you again," he said staring at me with desperation.

"I know and I'll always be your baby sister and you'll always be my big brother. No matter where I live. I just– I just need to think about it first okay?" Just then we pulled up to my house.

He looked at me for a long time before answering, reluctantly, "Okay." and then he was off.

_Day 3_

I looked out on the light green meadow that was dotted with specks of colors; flowers. The grass tickled my feet where they peeked out of my sundress. There was a cool breeze and the sun was shining down on me like a blessing. The sky was crystal blue and there were only a few puffy, white clouds that reminded me of cotton candy.

A few yards away there were two butterflies, brilliant in color, and they were both sitting upon the same bright blue flower. I crossed my arms and laid my elbows on my knees, my head on my arms and watched the two butterflies flutter their wings. There was a rustling behind me and the two butterflies flew toward the noise. I watched them fly until their shapes crossed a face.

I smiled up at the person standing before me. They smiled back and sat down next to me. We watched the meadow, occasionally seeing a white rabbit pop it's head out of a hole or a bird swoop down into a tree. It was so peaceful here, I never wanted to leave.

"Do you remember when things were simpler?" I asked in a quiet voice, trying not to disturb nature.

"Things were never simple darling," my mother said still looking at the gentle meadow.

"Why?"

"Life isn't simple. Even when you were a child we struggled," she paused and took in a deep breath. "But I don't want to spoil the good memories you have from when you were young. When you still thought the world _was_ simple."

I didn't say anything, I just looked out on the meadow. Something was nagging at the back of my head, but I didn't want to find out what it was. I knew whatever it was would shatter my peace. "I miss it."

"We all do, honey. It seems all we do in life is try and grow up and when we do, all we want is to be young again. We don't listen to our parents or our grandparents when they tell us to enjoy our youth. We think we'll be young forever, but we won't. Eventually we all grow up, we all have face the real world, make tough decisions."

That was all I needed for that memory that had been nagging at the back of my head to surface. _Make tough decisions_. "Jon wants me to live with him," I said.

"I know."

"But I'm not sure if I want to go. I missed him, a lot but..."

My mother looked at me and placed a hand on my cheek. "I know sweetie, you don't have to tell me. I know."

"Then how can I choose. How do I chose between the brother I love and the man I'm in love with?" I asked. I wanted so badly for my mother to tell me the answer. That it would all be alright and that it would work itself out, but of course she didn't. She couldn't.

"Clary I want you to listen to me. Your all I've wanted and more in a daughter and I've always been proud of you. I know whatever decision you make it will be the right one, as long as you follow your heart."

I smiled up at my mother. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, now I have to go now sweetie. And you have to wake up."

"Huh?"

"Calm on, wake up," my mother's voice slowly morphed and became distorted. "Wake up. Wake up. Wake u–"

My eyes fluttered open and I saw a blurry figure standing over me. I blinked my eyes a couple of times until a figure came into focus. "Jace?"

"This is the second time I had to pull teeth just to wake you up. You really are one heavy sleeper, aren't you?" he asked and a smile touched his lips. I could only stare up at him, trying to process what had just happened. It was only a dream. I felt crushed and happy all at once. Happy that I got to see my mother again, but crushed because I had the feeling of losing her all over again. "What's wrong?" Jace asked.

"I had a dream," I said and when he looked confused I elaborated. "About my mother."

"Oh. Do you want to talk about?" he asked stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Not yet," I said because if I did, I'd have to tell him about the decision I had to make.

"Okay, you just tell me when your ready and I'll listen."

"I know," and then a question dawned on me. "Why did you wake me up? What time is it?"

"It's about ten in the morning and I woke you up because we have the whole house to ourselves and I didn't want to waist it," he said with a mischievous smile playing at his lips.

"But I thought we weren't allowed to even be in the same room together let alone have the whole house to ourselves," I said.

"Well in light of recent events the family thought it would be best to give us some alone time together. Mostly it was Izzy's idea, so she convinced Mayrse to take everyone to the zoo or something."

"I highly doubt Izzy would willfully go to a zoo," I pointed out.

"Whatever, the point is that we have the house to ourselves. What do you want to do first?" a thought occurred to me at that moment, a Delicious, evil thought.

"Oh I don't know, I was thinking about taking a shower," I start and see his face drop a little. "I love the way the water feels flowing down my naked body. The foamy soap sliding around my figure, making it slick and smooth," I gave a moan of content and saw Jace was swallowing deeply. His breath was getting shorter, shallower and there was a hungry look in his eyes that made me want to moan again. I leaned up so that our lips were a centimeter away, almost brushing against each other and said, "Want to join me?"

His lips crashed onto my own and I was engulfed by Jace. His lips pressed against my own, his hands on my hips holding me tightly to him. We were so close that I could feel his heart beating in his chest against my own. He pushed me back down on the bed and covered my body with his. I didn't object.

He deepened the kiss and soon we were moaning into each others mouths. My hands roamed up and down his body and suddenly it wasn't enough. I needed more, more of Jace. I tugged at his shirt and he lifted it over his head. I felt his washboard abs and perfectly planed chest beneath my hands. It still wasn't enough though, I wanted to feel my skin against his, flesh on flesh. I reached down between us and slowly started to pull my shirt up and over my stomach. Jace's hands stop my own and he looked down at me, eyes torn between stopping me and helping me.

"Clary," he says in a shaky breath. "are you sure?"

I look up at him, see the love and adoration clear in his features. "There's no one else I'd rather do this with," I say. He relents and slowly pulls my shirt over my head. Since I was still in my pajamas I didn't have a bra. So there I was, completely exposed to Jace in a way I had never been exposed before to anyone.

He stared down at me and I started to squirm against his gaze. _Does he not like what he sees? Am I not enough?_ I'm not exactly what you would call big and I'm sure I'm not what Jace is used to.

"Beautiful," Jace whispers, mostly to himself. All the same I feel a rush of relief pass through me. He leaned back down and kissed me softly on the lips, then harder. Slowly his hand starts to trace a line, starting with my jaw. He moved down my face, tracing the line of my ear and then moving his hand down my neck. He ended just above my chest, hesitated, then diped lower. He brushed over my breast and I gasped in pleasure.

He started to massage my left breast while kissing me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, holding him to me. His mouth moved from my lips to my neck and the feeling of his lips on my neck and his hand on my breast was almost too much to handle.

All of a sudden a moan/gasp riped through me when he pinched my nipple. He stopped and pulled back. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" he asked, fear in his eyes.

"No, Jace" I have to catch my breath. "P-please don't stop," he smiled evilly down at me and then went back to work. Rushes of pleasure run through me like shock waves. I never wanted it to end.

His hand moved away from my breast and I whine in protest. I feel him smile against my skin as his lips dip further and further until...

"Mhmmm," I moaned in ecstasy as his mouth wraped around my left nipple. "Jaaaace," I moaned out. My hands tangled in his hair, holding him against my chest. This went on for a long time, but then I felt his hand trail down to the waistband of my pants. He stopped there and I knew what he was silently asking. _But am I ready? I love him don't I? But I don't even know if I'm staying._

And suddenly I knew the answer. "Wait, Jace," is all I had to say and he took his hand away. I didn't want to do it if I had to question it. When the time comes, I don't want to have a any second thoughts. "Jace I don't think–" but he cut me off.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to explain, I understand.," I smiled up at him.

"I love you," I whisper to him.

"I love you, too. More than you know. Now I think breakfast is in order, don't you?"

"Sounds perfect," I say.

We put our clothes on and went downstairs. We had a simple breakfast, cereal and toast. Everything was perfect...until I got a text message from Jonathan. I gave him my number on our last outing so he would be able to get a hold of me without showing up at my house.

**Meet me Taki's 6:30 4 dinner—Jon**

I texted back saying I would be there and relayed the message to Jace. His feature tightened up noticeably. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said.

"Don't lie to me, Jace. Come on what's up?"

"Really, it's nothing. Just...I don't think your brother likes me very much."

"Why," I asked, stunned.

"When we met yesterday, I don't know he just seemed a little put off. Like he already decided that he didn't like me," he said.

"Maybe he's just looking out for his little sis. He did see us kiss," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was after we met."

I had to think about it a second. Honestly I see no reason why Jon wouldn't like him. He only just met him and unless Jace went into to total-douche-mode there's no reason for him to hate Jace. "I don't know Jace. Maybe you misunderstood him," I suggested.

"Maybe," he said, but he didn't sound very convinced. "Hey," he said his voice lightening up. "Why don't we go watch a movie. I rented **EASY A**."

"Sounds like a plan," We watched the movie and spent the rest of the day lazing around, just enjoying each others company. Of course there was lots of kissing and snuggling and it was wonderful till 5:30 rolled around.

"So I suppose you have to get ready now?" he asked sounding very displeased.

"I would suppose so," I answered back. He didn't say anything so I got up from the couch we were snuggled up in and went upstairs. By the time I had finished my shower and got dressed it was 6:15. I went back downstairs and found Jace watching tv. Though it didn't look like he was actually paying attention. It looked more like he was lost in thought. I sat down next to him, he didn't say anything, but he did take my hand in his own. This gesture told me everything I needed to know.

"You know I am coming back," I said.

"Mhmm?" he half questioned half mumbled.

"I mean your making me feel like this is our last goodbye or something. It felt like that yesterday too," I stated.

"I don't mean to make you feel bad," he said, but there was something else behind those words.

"Jace what's up? Ever since my brother showed up you've been acting pretty wacky."

"Well your brother, who was suppose to have disappeared on you, did all of a sudden show up. How the hell did you expect me to act?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't know, supportive I guess."

"Supportive a what, you leaving me?" he asked, angry now.

"What the hell are you talking about, Jace?" now I was starting to get mad.

"Oh don't play dumb Clary. Your brother already told us of his _intentions_. Did you really think that I wouldn't think he would tell you?"

"I'm sure have no idea what you are talking about," I insisted angrily.

"Of course you don't, so let me ask you this; Did he or did he not ask you to go live with him?"

I felt my world shattering around me. _This is why I didn't want him to know, because I knew this would happen_. "I–" was all I could stutter out.

"Did he?" Jace asked again.

"He did, but Jace–"

"Are you going to go with him?" he asked, cutting me off.

"I don–"

"Because if you are I have a right to know," he kept going on.

"Jace!" I yelled at him and this time he paused. "I don't know, okay?"

He turned to me with pleading eyes. Those molten golden eyes that draw me to him like a magnet. "Don't leave me Clary. I've only just got you, I can't lose you."

"Jace I–" _Ding Dong_. A heavy silence hung in the air and neither of us moved. We just stared at each other like scared animals. _Ding Dong!_ I was the first to come to my senses. "I'd better go get that," I got up without waiting for a reply and went to the door. "Hi Jon, how are you?" I asked when I saw him on the other side of the door.

"Oh fine I guess," he replied. Just then I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist protectively. "Jace," was all Jon said to acknowledge Jace's existence.

"Jonathan," Jace said back.

"Okay," I said to cut the awkward conversation short. "I guess we'd better get going."

"Yeah, if we don't leave now we'll miss our reservations," he said while keeping his eyes on Jace. I started to untangle myself from Jace, but he pulled me back and gave me one last kiss.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," I whispered back and then we were on our way.

~X~X~X~

The dinner started off innocent enough. We picked at bread sticks and talked about our day. We were still trying to catch up on all that we had missed in the last few years. For example, Jon now works as a manager of the baseball department at Scheel's. He said that it paid well enough and that he was able to afford a nice apartment. Nothing fancy, "but big enough for two," he made a point of saying.

I told him about some of the electives I was taking in high school and about the family and friends. He seemed pleased with the way my life had been going so far and I felt oddly comforted by that. After all these years I thought I wouldn't care what he thought, but I guess old habits die hard.

We had finished our meals, I had a lobster tail with vegies, and were on our after dinner drinks when he finally brought up the subject that I had been so desperately tip-toeing around.

"So have you come to a decision?" he asked.

"About what?" though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"About coming to stay with me. Letting me be your big brother again," he said carefully. Choosing the exact words that he knew would guilt trip me.

"Jon I– I want to, but at the same time...I just feel I can't," I started. "I mean whether you like it or not you've been absent from my life for six years. I have a new family now. I love you Jon, you know that, but I can't leave them," _can't leave Jace._ "But that doesn't mean we won't see each other," I reached my hand across the table and covered his with my own.

He looked down for a long moment before meeting my eyes. "I had really hoped," he began. "that you would have chosen to come with me willingly."

"I'm sorry Jon, I just can't."

"That's the thing Clary, _you can._ In fact," he paused and took in a deep breath. "you have to."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Clary I'm the only family you have left. And now that I'm twenty-one, legally I should be your guardian until your eighteen," he stated in a very business-like tone that was totally unlike him.

"But...I already have a guardian. Two in fact, Mayrse and Robert," I said flustered.

"Yes but they're considered stand-ins 'til I could take over. And now...well now I can take over."

"You can't make me," I said in a low voice.

"I don't want to Clary, but actually I can," he said like he regretted having to force me to do it.

"No," I said.

"I'm sorry, really I am–"

"No," I said again, my voice getting higher.

"But you have to understand–"

"No!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, practically shrieked. People in the registrant looked over at us, but I didn't care.

"Clary– "

"No, no you can't make me."

"Clary it's not that simple."

"Yes it is, you want to take me away from here, from my family!" my anger growing by the second.

"They're not your family Clarrisa!"

"And neither are you, not anymore," ever since he showed up here my life has been crumbling around me and I was tired of it. He made his choice a long time ago and now I'm making mine. I got up from the table and walked out the door. I didn't look back.

I quickly walked through the streets heading toward the institute. I pushed past people and barely registered that they were yelling at me, but I didn't care. I just needed to get back home, get back to my family, get back to _Jace_. I wanted to get back to the familiar feel of Jace's arms around me, his scent encompassing me, his warmth. I wanted it all, I knew I was being selfish, but that didn't matter.

I crashed through the door and ran up the stairs and toward Jace's room. I walked the familiar halls of the institute, my hands trailing against the sandy wallpaper. Finally I reached his door and I didn't bother with knocking. When the door was open I rushed in and saw Jace sitting on the edge of his bed with his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. At the noise I made coming in he looked up and I saw something that I had never seen before. Jace was crying.

"Clary?" he asked like he wasn't sure if I was real.

"Jace," I said and rushed over to him and threw myself into him. He tentatively wrapped his arms around me, like he still wasn't sure I was real. "It's me Jace. I'm really here."

"Are you?" he asked, childlike wonder in his voice.

I let out a humorless laugh, "Yes."

"I thought– I thought that you would have wanted to go with him-"

"Jace how could I go with him after all of this. I told you before and I'll tell you again; the only place I want to be is with you and if he wasn't okay with that, then I don't want anything to do with him," I said with finality.

He pulled back a little to look at me, but never once letting go. "Clary I don't want you to give up your family for me."

"I'm not, God Jace are you really that thick-headed? You, Izzy, Alec, Max, Mayrse, Robert. You guys are my family, not him," he looked down at me, staring into my eyes like he was looking for something. He found it I suppose, because a minute later his eyes lit up and a big smile grew on his face.

"I love you, you know that right?" he asked that beautiful smile never once leaving his face.

"I know, I love you too." we stood like that a long time, me in his arms, him with his head buried in my hair. Finally Jace suggested we go to bed and what with everything that had went on lately, we figured it would be okay to sleep in the same bed. And if it wasn't...well we'd cross that road when we had to.

We slipped under the covers and we got comfortable. I snuggled up against Jace and he put his arms around me. As we laid there, trying to slip into sleep I thought about everything that had, had happened in the last three days.

This wasn't over, I knew it, Jace knew, Jon knew it. This was going to be on long and bumpy course and it was going to push so close to the edge I don't know if I'll be able to stop from falling over. But for right now, I didn't want to dwell on that. Because right now, I was wrapped safely in Jace's arms and just knowing that he was here was all the strength I would ever need to get through this.

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**Hey sorry if you freaked out for a sec because I deleted this chap. **

**But I had too because something was really messed up in it. Thank you anonymous **

**person, your right, they did have two breakfasts...guess I was hungry.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Omg guys I am like sssooo sorry. Like no joke I had no idea**

**it had been this long since I updated. Oops...**

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CPOV

I woke up the next morning still wrapped comfortably in Jace's arms. I didn't want to get up yet so I buried my face deeper into his chest. I took in a deep breath and let his scent course through me. I felt him adjust beneath me before I felt his hand slowly stroke my hair. I sighed in content, never feeling so calm in my life.

"Good morning," Jace whispered to me before placing a small kiss on the top of my head.

"Mhmmm, good morning," I mumbled into his chest with a smile.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"You have no idea," I finally raised my head to look at him. The morning sunlight was creeping in through the shades and the light reflected off his hair, making it look the perfect shade of gold. A smile was touching his lips and his eyes looked lazy and content. I smiled at the sight of him, feeling a warm sensation pool in the pit of my stomach. Jace made me feel warm, content...safe. "Can we stay here?" I asked.

"What do you mean," he asked slightly confused.

"Here, in this bed, together. Can we stay in this moment for the rest of our lives?" I asked almost desperately.

"I wish I could say yes, I wish I could tell you everything was going to be fine. But I can't, because honestly I don't know. Ask me anything else, anything else in the world and I'll give it to you. But I can't lie to you tell you everything is going to turn out okay" he said. I thought about what he said, the truth to what he said. We really didn't know how this was going to turn out.

"Anything?" I asked finally.

"Anything," he whispered.

"Tell me you love me."

"Everyday," he said and kissed me on the tip of the nose. "I love you," he moved to my left cheek. "I love you," Right cheek. "I love you," finally to my lips. "I love y–" but I cut him off before he could finish by pulling our lips together in a soft kiss.

I finally pulled back and rested my forehead against his. "I love you, too," I whispered.

He chuckled under his breath a little. "I figured," and this brought a giggle to my own lips. I laid back down on his chest and he held me there for a long time. We didn't exchange words because we didn't need to, we knew exactly how the other felt.

This sweet serenity couldn't last forever though, because finally we heard a knock at the door followed by Izzy entering the room. "You know," she starts. "every time I come in here I see you two in bed together and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but some people might get the wrong idea. I'm just saying is all," she finished with a little smirk on her face.

"That would be a problem Izzy," Jace said. "if I thought a lot of people were going to come tramping through my room all the time. However since you seem to be the only person that feels the need to knock on my door and then burst in, I'm thinking it's safe to say that no one will be getting the wrong idea about what's going on here," he finished.

"Don't blame me 'cause you can't keep it in your pants," Izzy said after a short pause.

"Izzy!" I yelled out.

"Alright, alright," she relinquished. "I really didn't come in here to intrude–"

"Then you won't mind leaving," Jace butted in.

Izzy went on as if she hadn't heard him, but I saw her narrow her eyes at him. "But, you are needed downstairs and unfortunately it is not for a good reason," suddenly I saw her face drop considerably.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think it's better you here from mom and dad," Izzy said and then promptly left the room and shut the door.

"Wonderful! Just perfect!" I huffed and rolled off Jace. "Why can't we ever catch a break?" I wondered aloud as I searched the room for my clothes. "Why can't we have one nice morning where we can wake up and know that we can do whatever we want with our day. How come we can't be like normal people and get up and have pancakes in the morning with hot syrup and an ice cold glass of milk? But nnnooo, we don't get that! We get up and find out we have to be delivered 'the bad news'," I said putting air quotes around 'the bad news.' "And you know it's about Jon! God forbid he leave me the hell alone!" By the time I had finished my rant I had gathered all of my clothes and threw them on. Jace remained on the bed and just stared at me the whole time.

When he was confident I had finished he stood up from the bed and walked over to me. I closed my eyes and felt him wrap his arms around me. I leaned into him instinctually and rested my arms on top of his. "I know, Clary. I wish every day that we could have a normal life, that _you _could have a normal life," he paused and sucked in a breath. "But these were the cards we were dealt and we are just gonna have to deal until things start to look up."

"When Jace? When are things going to look up?" I asked.

"I don't know, but I can tell you this. They will, eventually they will."

~X~X~X~

We went downstairs and saw everyone, minus max, sitting in the living room. They all looked anxious, which immediately made me anxious.

"Have a seat Clary," Mayrse said when she saw me and Jace. We sat down on one of the love seats and I scooted closer to Jace. He took my hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Wh–" I stopped and cleared my throat. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well dear," she paused and looked as if she was trying to pick her words carefully. "It seems that your brother, Jonathan, has decided to sue us for custody of you."

It took me a second to process what she had just said. "But– He can't do that, can he?"

"Well I didn't think he could however, we received a letter in the mail this morning calling us to court next Monday pertaining to your current living situation," she paused and leaned over to grab my other hand and give it a squeeze. "I'm so sorry, I know this must be hard for you. It's hard for all of us because we don't want to lose you. But I promise we are going to do everything we can to keep you."

Robert cleared his throat. "That's right. I've already hired the best lawyer money can buy and he's working hard on the case as we speak."

"I don't want you to spend a lot of money on a fancy lawyer," I started but was cut off.

"Nonsense," Mayrse said. "Your part of this family and we will protect you at any cost." I felt tears spring to my eyes at her kind words, but quickly pushed them back.

"Thank you Mayrse. All of you," I added.

"Really it's no problem, we would have done the same thing for Max or Jace," she stated.

I felt Jace squeeze my hand I looked at him, but saw that he was looking at Mayrse. His eyes showed that he really appreciated being considered part of the family like that. I squeezed back.

"So what's going to happen exactly?" I asked after a short while.

"Well we'll meet with our lawyer and you'll talk to him. He will explain to us the best way to go about this and then...we'll go to court on Monday," she finished. Mayrse sounded confident, but her eyes told a different story.

"Yes, in fact I have set up a lunch date with your lawyer today. We're going to meet him at one at _Luke's Bistro_," he stopped and looked down at his watch. "It's about 11:30 right now so we should start getting ready now so we can be ready to leave by 12:30."

"Um, okay," I said feeling more than a little uneasy about all of this.

Mayrse and Robert got up and walked in the direction of their room. I let out a huff of breath and leaned back into the couch. Isabelle got up from where she had been sitting and sat down on the armrest next to me. She threw an arm around me and gave a tight squeeze.

"It'll be okay, Clary. I promise," she said.

"Of course it will," Jace said.

"Yeah, think of it this way; if you don't win in court Iz can always go over there and beat the crap out of him anyway," Alec piped in. I looked over at him and burst out laughing. Not because the joke was that funny, but because _Alec_ had just tried to tell a _joke._ That was priceless.

"Thanks guys," I said.

"No problemo chickadee," Izzy said.

"Remind me to never get help from you in Spanish," I said.

~X~X~X~

An hour later we were prepped and ready to got meet my lawyer, Mr. Starkweather. Only Mayrse, Robert and me were going. I was a little anxious because Jace wouldn't be there with me, but Robert said it was important for me to have some one-on-one time with my lawyer. Frankly I don't see how it's considered one-on-one time when you have your parental units with you, but whatever.

We arrived at _Luke's Bistro_ at about 12:55 and asked the hostess what table Mr. Starkweather was seated at. She escorted us to our table and we found our lawyer seated opposite of us sipping at a coke and looking through a manilla folder.

When we got close enough he looked up from the folder and gave us a warm smile. "Ah you must be the Lightwoods," he said.

"Yes, I am Robert, this is my wife Mayrse and this," Robert paused to make a less-than-subtle gesture toward me. "is Clary."

"Why hello Clary," Mr. Starkweather said and put his hand out for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and he gave mine a nice, firm shake. "Now," he gestured to the table. "why don't we all take a sit and order some drinks."

"I think that's a good idea," Robert said and waved a waitress over.

She walked over to our table and pulled a pad and pen. "Hello, my name is Maia and I'll be your server today. Would like something to drink?" she asked in a very comfortable tone. Nothing like the tight, overly-polite waitresses you usually get.

"I'll have a diet coke please," Robert said.

"I'll have some water," Mayrse answered.

"I think I'll just have an iced tea," I said when she looked at me. She wrote our orders down with deft hands and walked off to get our drinks.

"So, let's get down to business," Robert said rubbing his hands together like he was about to do manual labor.

"Right," Mr. Starkweather said. "I have already gone over your case and I think we can win, though there are somethings that concern me."

"Oh?" Mayrse asked.

"Well on the one hand," my lawyer started. "we have some leverage because he's been in a state penitentiary. On the other hand he's going to get one hell of a sob story from it. Losing his sister at such a young age and being given the chance to reconnect to her and what-not. As much as I might think judges are unfeeling dogs, they do tend to sway toward the touching stories. Add on top of that the Judge we have, Judge Amatis, has a real soft spot for the reformed," he paused and saw the Robert and Mayrse were starting to look worried. "Don't worry too much though. I think we'll be able to win her over."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Mayrse asked incredulously.

"If Clary goes up on the stand and explains how much she loves living with you and how your her family, etcetera, etcetera, then I think the judge will lean more toward our side."

I took a big gulp of air. "I, uh, don't know. I'm not very good talking in front of people."

"That's quite alright dear. The only people in the room are your family, me, the judge, and your brother and his lawyer. Juries aren't called in for these kinds of cases."

"Still, I get nervous doing any kind of public speaking," I insisted.

"I'll coach you. Trust me, by Monday you'll be a regular J.F.K." he said and chuckled at his own joke.

"I don't know..." I trailed off.

"If your really uncomfortable getting up there, I'll try and keep it to a minimum. However you have to get up there no matter what. The judge is going to want to hear what you have to say and I think it would be better if I was able to coach you first."

"I suppose," I said through pursed lips.

"Wonderful," he exclaimed. Just then Maia came back with our drinks. I took mine gratefully and used it as an excuse not to have to talk anymore. See if I keep sipping on my drink, Mr. Starkweather is less likely to ask me questions.

The rest of the lunch date pretty much went like that. We ordered our food and again I used it as an excuse not to talk. Mayrse and Robert talked with Mr. Starkweather, Hodge as he insisted we call him, about my case. I didn't like them calling it that, _my case_. This wasn't just some case, this was my life. I can't just do 100 hours of community service and be done with it. I could be moved out of my house, taken away from my family and friends, taken away from _Jace_.

Eventually we finished and left. I would have to meet Mr. Starkweather-Hodge- tomorrow so he could start coaching me on how to talk in front of the judge. The whole thing made me feel queasy and I just wanted to get home and into Jace's arms.

~X~X~X~

Which is exactly what I did. Me and Jace went up to his room again, no no one questioned it anymore. Jace laid back against his headboard and spread his legs so I could snuggle up between them. I could feel his steady heartbeat thump against me back and it was very reassuring. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer against him, if that was even possible.

"How'd it go?" he breathed into my ear.

"Fine I guess," I said.

"Only fine?"

"Yeah. I have to make a big speech in front of the judge and I'm not exactly looking forward to it," I said and laid my head back against his shoulder so I could look up at him.

"You'll do great," he said and leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Mhmmm," I hummed in content. This is why I kept fighting, so I could keep having these stolen moments with Jace.

"Are we going to tell Max what's going on?" I asked.

"I suppose were going to have to," he said.

My face lowered. "I wish he didn't have to deal with this,"

"You and me both."

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**And there we are, sorry again for the HUGE delay!**

**I promise it won't happen again.**

**I think ;)**

**Oh and you may have noticed i deleted this chap and then reposted it and that's because there was a slight plot error**

**Thanks **JaceLover4eva **I totally forgot! I guess that's why I'm the blond one! XD**


	13. Chapter 13

**Alright so I haven't had a lot of inspiration to write lately and I'm**

**Sorry for that, but trust me you'd rather have an inspiration**

**filled story that takes a little longer to update than one that I**

**just paste up there just so I can get something out there. I hope**

**you guys enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments series, but seriously who is going to sue a fanfiction site?**

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CPOV

"Okay that was better, but this time try to be louder," Hodge said after my eighth attempt at my big, touching speech. We had been going at it for what seemed like forever and I just couldn't seem to get it.

I sucked in a deep breath. "My time spent with the Lightwoods has been the best of my life. I was orphaned at such a young age and I didn't have anyone but Jonathan. But Jon left me to fend for myself and it was devastating. Then the Mayrse and Robert walk into my life and things start to get better. I start to heal and eventually I began to grow. I grew up with these people, they are my family. Please don't take me away from my family."

Hodge let out an exasperated breath. "Okay, that was louder, good. But I need you to put some emotion in it. You could be taken away from your family, I need you to cry, wail, scream, sob anything! Just make me believe you mean it," he said, getting a little frustrated. I don't blame him, I was horrible.

"I do mean it, I don't want to be taken away from my home. I just- These words just don't...feel right. I would never put it this way," I said trying to say what I was feeling.

"Look," he said. "I know this is tough for you but if you can't do this we could lose. And neither you nor I want that to happen."

"Fine I'll try again," deep breath. "My time spent with the Lightwoods has been–"

"Okay, okay," Hodge interrupted me. "I think that's it for today. Go home, rest up and maybe we can do better tomorrow. Alright?" he asked.

"Sounds good to me," I said and got up from my seat in his office and headed for the door.

I walked back home slowly. Taking in all of my surroundings while Pink's _Perfect_ blasted in my ears(clean version of course). It was nice out. The sun was beaming down but it wasn't extremely hot. I looked at the people I was passing. Some kids running around in the park. An old married couple sitting on a park bench. A bird watcher staring enthusiastically at the jogging lady through his binoculars. Everyone seemed perfectly content, happy even. Except me, because unlike them I was fighting for my life.

Okay, maybe not actual _life_, but life as I knew it. I was fighting to keep everything I cherished in this world. My school, friends, Max, _ Jace_. God I had, had barely anytime with him lately. It made me feel lonely. Like I was missing a part of me, and an important part to boot!

When I got home I would make sure I spent some time with Jace.

~X~X~X~

And I did just that. I looked out of Jace's window onto the quiet street below, or as quiet as it could be in New York. It had been a long time since I had drawn this scene. All the other times I had drawn it, there had been a man sitting on a bench looking lonely and lost.

Now that I know that man is my brother and wants to take me from my family, I was almost too disgusted to look at the bench. Looking on it now though, I don't see a horrible fate of being ripped from my life here. I see just a bench that is placed under a streetlamp. I wasn't going to let Jon ruin my happy memories, even if they are only of drawing that bench.

"I would have never guessed," Jace whispered quietly.

"Mhmmm?" I hummed/asked.

"That the person on the bench was your brother. Not even in a million years with a million tries. And yet here we are," he said thoughtfully.

"Yeah well, life isn't exactly predictable," I said and then sighed.

"Obviously not," he said and then motioned for me to join him on the bed. He scooted over a bit and I snuggled up against his side. Jace used the tip of his finger to trace a line from the top of my shoulder down to my elbow and up again. All the while we sighed in content at the simplicity of the moment.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, so, so much," he said like he was pleading with me to believe him. Which was ridiculous because why would I not believe him? Boys are complicated.

We stayed like that for quite a while before Jace said something completely unexpected. "I was nine."

I lifted my head from his shoulder. "What?" I asked.

"When my parents died," he stated plainly, though I could tell he was struggling.

"Jace, you don't have to tell me-" but I was cut off.

"Your right, I don't. But I want to." He sat up a little straighter so that his back was against the backboard of the bed. I moved up with him and settled comfortably beside him. I would have snuggled closer, but this was important and I knew I needed to look him in the eyes when he told me.

Jace was quiet for a bit so I tried to coax him into speaking, "So you were nine," I said.

"Yeah, when they died. But that wasn't when my life starting going down the shitter. I was about four when my dad had his first outburst. It was short, but I remember it the most out of all of them. He told me some...things about life that kind of stuck in my head. At least for a while," he added in a slightly amused whisper. "He didn't hit me then, no that didn't start til later. However the emotional shock was still a lot to bare for a four year old. Especially since instead of hitting me, he hit my mother. He never hit her in front of me, though," he stopped and chuckled humorlessly. "he thought it wasn't _appropriate _to hit her in front of me. I think it was his way of convincing himself that what he was doing was okay. That he wasn't the monster he was.

"But even though I never saw him hit her, I could here it. The yelling, the hard smack of his hand connecting with her cheek, the crack of his foot slamming against her knees. She would make the most horrible sounds of pain and they would haunt my dreams at night. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get the sound of my mother screaming out of my head," he paused and squeezed his eyes shut and took in an unsteady breath. No doubt reliving his horrible past. I took his hand in my own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I didn't say anything because nothing I could say would make it better. Nothing I could say can change his painful past.

Finally he reopened his eyes, but refused to meet my own. Instead he resigned himself to staring at the wall on the opposite end of the bed. "Then when I was six my dad sat me down before my first day of school. He told me that if I told anyone what he did to my mother that he would have no choice but to punish me...and then he hit me. For the first time in my life my dad punched me as hard as he could, in the stomach of course so no one could see the mark. He told me that, that was a warning and that if I ever blabbed that I would get much worse. Naturally I never told anyone. That didn't stop my dad from hitting me over the most senseless things. But I knew that I would get far worse if I ever told anyone what life at home was like. So I suffered through it as long as I could. My mother stayed the same kind, gentle woman she had always been. But somehow it seemed...forced. I could tell she wasn't happy and if I wasn't in the picture she would have left my dad a long time ago. But my dad told her that if she ever left, he would track us down and kill us.

"So my mom went on with her facade. She met up with her friends, showed up to PTA meetings, volunteered at the homeless shelter. No one would have ever guessed the hell that she went through every night. She was a strong woman and no matter what happened she was always there for me and I knew she loved me.

"This went on until I was nine. That was when my dad finally snapped. Truly and completely went off the deep end. He came home in a destructive rage. He trashed the whole house and threw me around like a rag doll. My mom tried to stop him but he would have none of it. He dragged my mom upstairs and I ran after them. I pulled on my dad's pants and sleeves to try and stop him, but it was no use. He threw my mom on their bed and pulled something black and shiny out of the back of his pants. It was his gun.

"It all happened so fast I didn't even know what was happening til it was over. My dad pointed the gun at my mom and then there was a bullet in her chest and a red stain started to well up on her chest. Then without a moments hesitation he brought the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger. And just like that my parents were gone.

"Afterward, after the police showed up and after they asked me a million questions I wasn't ready to answer, I felt guilty. Not because I thought their death was my fault, but because I only mourned over one of their deaths. I tried so, so hard, but I just couldn't feel bad that my dad was dead. I knew I should have felt something, he was my father after all, but really all I felt was relieved. I felt relieved that my dad couldn't hurt me anymore," he stopped and finally met my eyes for the first time since he started the story.

"Don't be ashamed Jace. Your father beat you and your mother for five years, of course you would be relieved that he wasn't able to hurt you anymore," I said trying to console him.

"Relieved that he couldn't hurt us anymore, yes. But you have to understand that I was on the verge of being absolutely thrilled that he was dead. Which just added to the guilt because I really shouldn't be thrilled about anything because my mother was dead," he paused and and begged me with his eyes to tell him different, to tell him he is wrong and that he should have felt that way. And for once, I could give him that.

I reached my hand out and placed it on his cheek and felt him lean into it. "Jace, I promise you, that anyone in that same situation would have felt the same way. In fact I'd be a little worried if you didn't because, trust me; you may think that being glad your dad is dead is bad, but it would be worse if you thought what he was doing to you and your mother was okay."

He sucked in a shaky breath and leaned in and kissed me so softly on the lips that I barely even felt it. And it was still one of the best kisses we've had yet. "Thank you, so much. I feel like you've- like you've taken a big burden off of my shoulders. I feel...lighter, happier and just...thank you," he concluded.

I gave him a small smile, "Anytime."

~X~X~X~

"Let's go everyone! We need to leave in five minutes if we don't want to waltz into the courtroom late!" I heard Mayrse yell from downstairs. The past week had passed in a blur and it was finally time. The trial that could determine the rest of my life was to be held today in about an hour.

Truly I was already ready to go, I just wasn't _ready _to go. I knew it was inevitable, but I still wanted to put it off for as long as I could. Which is why I am sitting on the toilet seat with the door locked to the bathroom and staring at the door with a certain amount of disdain. I wanted to be strong, to be courageous, to be everything that I wasn't at the moment because right now I felt small and weak. All the training sessions with Hodge and pep talks from Iz could not prepare me for what I was about to face.

_Then I guess there is no sense in putting it off,_ I finally told myself. I got up from my position on the the seat of the toilet and walked out of the bathroom. I made the long trek down the stairs and into the living room.

The place was in chaos; Izzy was trying to fix her eye make-up in the reflection on the clock, Mayrse was wrestling Max into a tie, Alec was trying to figure out how to actually tie his tie and Jace and Robert in the corner discussing something heatedly. When I finally walked fully into the living room everything went still. Not a muscle twitched, not an eye flickered, not a breath made. _You could hear a pin drop _didn't even cover it. All eyes were on me, staring. As if I was some animal that they were afraid to scare if they moved to quickly.

I took another tentative step into the living room and just like that everything was back in motion. Izzy's eyes looked impeccable, Max's tie was finally firmly placed around his neck, Alec finally figured out the proper knot to use and Jace's and Robert's conversation had come to a conclusion.

"Alright," Mayrse said, looking a little flustered. "Is everyone ready to go?" she asked mostly to me.

"As ready as we'll ever be I suppose," I said.

~X~X~X~

We arrived at the courthouse at eight am sharp. The trial didn't start til eight-thirty but Hodge wanted me to come early so I could "mentally prepare" myself. Which basically meant that he didn't want me to break under the pressure, but honestly, at this point, I wasn't making any promises.

Our courtroom was just like any other one you see on tv. It was small, with only three rows of benches to sit on and the ceiling was very high up. The walls were a gross pea green and the Judge's seat was about eight feet from the defendants table. There was no place for a jury since this wasn't a jury kind of case. Juries were reserved for murders and burglaries, not custody disputes. I was sort of relieved by this fact because the less people I had to talk in front of, the better. The judge hadn't arrived yet and neither had my brother and his lawyer.

Hodge led me over to the defendant's table and sat me down to the left of him. My family sat right behind me on one of the benches. They gave me reassuring smiles and comforting pats on the back but I could tell in their eyes that they were just as scared as I was.

"Don't worry," Hodge said. "We have this in the bag. We just need to get through this trial without too many mess-ups and we'll be fine," he said lightheartedly. Obviously he was underestimating my ability to _mess up_.

"Yeah," Izzy said. "Nothing to be afraid of, Clary. We won't let him take you away from us," she said with a too-happy smile.

"Yeah but the judge can," I said and that shut everyone up real quick. I didn't mean to be a downer but we needed to face the fact that my future was being placed in that hands of a random stranger. For all I know they could be an old grouchy person who didn't really care, then where would we be?

"I know this judge," Hodge said. "Judge Marie Taylor. I've done a couple of cases with her and she is very empathetic. As long as you make her feel bad for you, your golden," he said smoothly. I was beginning to resent how sure of himself Hodge was. If he thought this was going to be a breeze then he wasn't going to try as hard as he should and then I'm going to be screwed, blued and tattooed.

Just then I felt a draft and I looked toward the door of the courtroom. It was open and stepping through it was Jon and his lawyer. His lawyer was a tall man with sandy-brown hair and looked like he was in his thirties, not exactly hard to look at but nothing special either.

Jon on the other hand, had certainly dressed up for the occasion. His dark hair was slicked back with gel and he was wearing a deep blue suit with a gray tie. His shoes looked newly shined and unscathed by the normal wear and tear of everyday shoes. When my eyes finally made it up to his face I could see his eyes sparkling with an evil kind of mischief and a characteristic smirk on his face.

While I had been staring I didn't notice that they had slowly been moving closer to us and was surprised when I saw them pushing through the small wooden gate that separated the spectators from the actual court.

"Why hello Clarissa," my brother said when he reached the defendant's table.

Hodge leaned toward me. "Don't say anything," he whispered in my ear.

"Now, now," he tsked at me. "that would be rude wouldn't it. I simply wanted to have a civil conversation with _my_ sister," he said and gave me a smile that unsettled my stomach. This was wrong. This wasn't my brother, my brother was a kind and caring and loved me unconditionally. It was as if somebody had possessed the empty shell of my brother that he left behind when our mother died.

Hodge spoke up at this time. "I will request you don't affiliate with my client at this point in time," he said in a voice that suggested he wasn't _requesting_ anything.

Jon turned toward him, "That's quite alright. We'll have plenty of time to, how did you put it, affiliate?" he paused and looked at Hodge expectantly. Hodge didn't budge. "All in do time," he said and with that he turned and walked, no slithered, over to the plaintiff's table.

Tears started to well up in my eyes. Somewhere along this crazy roller coaster they call life I had lost my brother. I missed the old Jon dearly but I knew I would never get him back. So, I pushed the tears back and sat down in my seat. Hodge put a hand over my own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I looked at him and for a moment, just for a moment, he reminded my of a grandfather. One that loved and cared for you and told you stories from his past and let you stay up late and eat ice cream. _Maybe it's not so bad having him for my defense, _I thought to myself.

Just then a door opened to the left and behind the Judge's chair and a woman walked out of it. She looked extremely tidy and her pale blonde hair was tied up in a tight bun on the back of her head. In fact her whole face looked tight and her lips were pursed in a very disapproving way. _And this was suppose to be my empathetic judge?_

Hodge's hand left mine and he rose from his seat before the judge could make it to her seat. "Excuse me I was told that Judge Marie Taylor would be overseeing this case," he said.

The judge turned her eyes toward Hodge. They were a striking gray that seemed to pierce your soul. I internally shivered. "Yes well," she started. "Judge Marie Taylor has come down with a bad case of the flu, so I will be overseeing this case. Now please sit down until you are asked to arise," she finished in a voice that could freeze hell over. She spun on her heel and walked briskly to the bench where she sat down her chair.

Then a man, the bailiff, came in front, "All rise for the respectful Judge Imogen Herondale presiding," he said in a booming voice.

We all stood and I heard Hodge mutter "Oh no," under his breath. _Great!_

"Oh no? Don't say oh no, I hate it when people say oh no," I whispered to him.

"Sit," Judge Herondale snapped.

"Oh no," I said and promptly took my seat.

~X~X~X~

"Alright," Judge Herondale started. "I don't really want to be here right now so were going to try and get through this as quickly as possible, understood? Good," she said without waiting for a response. "Alright let's get the brother up here first," she said and then looked down at her desk and started to shuffle papers.

I saw Jon's lawyer stand up and turn on what a person would call "a winning smile". "Actually Judge we wanted to–"

He was cut off by the Judge in question. "I don't very well care what you _want_," she said in a sour tone. "This is my courtroom and you will act accordingly, meaning we will do what _I _want. What _I_ want is for the brother to come up here and give his testimony. Now if you have any further objections, you can keep them to yourself because I don't care. Now, Jonathan, please take the witness stand."

And without any further argument from either parties Jon slowly rose from his seat and walked deliberately toward the witness stand. Jon's lawyer got up and followed suit.

"Alright will you please state your name for the record," his lawyer asked.

"Of course," Jon said. "My name is Jonathan Valentine Morgenstern," I internally cringed at the use of our father's surname.

"Alright Jonathan let's start with the simple questions. How old are you?" He asked.

"Twenty-one."

His lawyer stopped and pivoted to the left a little. "Let the record show that the plaintiff is twenty-one and therefore of legal age to be–" he was cut off once again by the Judge.

"The record will show whatever is being said in this courtroom, so you do not need to ensure that it will do so. As for him being the legal age I am quite aware of how the law works, I've been a judge for fifteen years now, and I would appreciate if you did not insult me by giving me lessons in my own courtroom," she finished snidely.

The lawyer seemed unfazed by her interruption, but conceded. "Of course, I'm sorry your honor," he turned back to Jon. "What do you do for a living Jon?" This question spiked my interest. Jon had mentioned he had a job but he didn't say what it was.

"I'm a journalist," he said.

"What newspaper do you work for?" his lawyer asked.

"Well, I don't actually work for a certain paper. I'm more of a free-lance journalist," Jon said.

"Free-lance?" his lawyer asked.

"Yes well I write different stories for different papers at different times. I just go where the work takes me," Jon said with a small smile, like he was sharing some inside joke with someone not in the room.

"Would you say that yours is a stable job?" his lawyer finally asked, getting to the point.

"Well unless all of the newspapers in the area suddenly run out of business, I'll always have work. So, yes, I would say I have a pretty stable job."

"What about your home?" his lawyer asked.

"Sir?" Jon asked.

"Where do you live?"

"I live in an apartment on the upper-east side."

"Upper-east side," his lawyer commented. "Must be nice. How are you on rent?"

"I've paid for the next three months in advance," Jon said with a smirk on his face.

"Really?" his lawyer said loudly. "So you can afford to pay for the next three months in rent and still have enough money to eat, put clothes on your back, and pay all of your bills. Sounds to me like you would have no problem taking care of a sixteen year old girl, would you?"

"I don't think so, sir," Jon said.

"Well, it seems we have established that you are quite capable of taking care of Clary," I winced at hearing my name coming from him. "But what I would like to know is why. Why are you so interested in taking care of her?" his lawyer asked.

"Well, sir, she's my sister. We were separated while we were still young and I want a chance to reconnect with my sister," Jon said in the most touching, phony way possible.

"Can't you reconnect with her and still allow her to live with her _adoptive_ family," I didn't like the way he said _adoptive family_ and I could tell that Hodge didn't either by the way he tensed up.

"Well yes but I–" he stopped and actually choked up. "You see sir I made a promise to my father a long time ago that if anything happened to him that I would be there to take care of Clary. Well I wasn't able to before, but I am now. I'd like to keep that promise," an actual tear slid down the side of his cheek. I felt my chest constrict. I know that he was suppose to be the bad guy in all of this, but that doesn't mean he hasn't suffered his share of hardship. I know I need to focus on winning this case but I suddenly felt a sharp pang of grief and sympathy for my brother.

I looked at him, really looked and he noticed. He caught my stare with his own and then slowly his left eye slid closed and his lips turned up in just the slightest way that if your weren't looking close enough, you wouldn't know it was there. The bastard was winking and smirking at me! _And there goes the sympathy_.

He started talking again,but his gaze never left mine. "I love my sister dearly and I just want to see her happy and I know I can make that happen," finally he broke his gaze from mine and turned toward his lawyer and gave him a small, sad smile.

"Thank you," then his lawyer turned toward the judge. "No further questions your honor."

"Very well," Judge Herondale said tersely. "Does the defense have any questions?"

Hodge looked at the judge. "Yes your honor," he gave me a pat on the hand before getting up and walking over to the witness stand. He looked my brother squarely in the eye. "Hello Jon, how are you today?" Hodge asked in a pleasant tone.

"Can't complain I suppose," he said in a tone...less than pleasant.

"Good to here...Now I as I understand it; you have an expensive apartment, have paid for the next three months of rent, and have enough money left over to take care of a sixteen year old girl, all on a salary of a _free-lance_ journalist. Is that true?" Hodge asked Jon.

"Yes that would be correct," he said in a voice that said he was trying to find out what game Hodge was playing.

"Interesting how much do you usually get paid for your stories?" Hodge asked.

"We it varies from newspaper to newspaper and depends on story length, but on average I'd say...$625 per story," he said, though he sounded a little unsure of himself.

"Really? What are they, paying a quarter per word? Because last time I checked most get paid at a nickel a word, which would make an average story $125. Are you telling me that your such a great journalist that they feel they need to pay you five-times what they normally pay?"

"I wouldn't say that–" Jon started but was quickly cut off by Hodge.

"So what would you say? Do they just take pity on you? Do you sell them that little sob story about your dad and sister that you just try to sell us in this courtroom. Do you just bat those precious puppy dog eyes and get what ever you want?"

"Objection," Jon's lawyer exclaimed. "Your honor Mr. Hodge is badgering my client."

"Sustained," Judge Herondale said and then turned toward Hodge. "Mr. Hodge I will have order in my courtroom or I will hold you in contempt, understand?" she said in a tone that said she meant business.

"Yes your honor," Hodge said. "My apologies," he said with a slight bow of the head. He turned back to Jon, who by now was sweating a little in his expensive suit. "I'm sorry for, what was it? Badgering you, I'm simply inquiring how you can make so much money as a free-lance journalist."

"That's quite alright," Jon said a little nervously.

"Good, so how is it you come into so much money?" Hodge asked calmly.

"I got lucky I guess," he said tentatively.

"Luck doesn't more than triple your salary, now I'm going to ask again where do you get all this money from?" Hodge said it pleasantly enough, but his eyes were locked with Jon's in a very intense glare.

"Well I..." Jon trailed off when he knew he had nothing useful to say.

"Could it be that it's not just your stories your selling?" Hodge asked.

Jon's lawyer actually rose from his seat. "Objection, your honor speculation," he said outraged.

"Sustained," Judge Herondale said."Mr. Hodge if I have to ask you one more time, I'll have the bailiff escort you out of here on very bad terms, understood? Good" she said once again not waiting for an answer.

"Alright, I see money is a touchy subject today, so I think we'll move on. Now you said that you made a promise to your father to take care of your baby sister is that right?"

"This seemed to get Jon's interest because he sat up straighter in his seat before he answered. "Yes, he just couldn't bare the thought that Clary would be left to fend for herself, and frankly neither could I," he said. _Oh very touching you worthless piece of-_

"I see and this would be the same father who walked out on you and left you both for dead, true?"

"Objection your honor," Jon's lawyer stood up again.

"On what grounds?" the judge asked incredulously.

"He's being...mean to my client," he said, sputtering a little at the end.

"He's a big boy, he can handle it, that is the case your trying to make isn't it?" she asked snidely.

Jon's lawyer didn't say anything but his cheeks did color with embarrassment. "Proceed Mr. Hodge," Judge Herondale said.

"Thank you, your honor. Now back to my question...would that be the same father?" Hodge asked Jon.

"It would," he said.

"Seems a little weird that you feel so strongly about keeping a promise to a man that neglected you and walked out on you. Left you two kids to fend for yourselves, with no money, no food, and no way to protect yourselves."

"Well it's not necessarily the person I promised it too, rather the promise itself," Jon said.

"That's not what you made it out to be a couple minutes before. A minute ago you were giving a very touching speech about the promise you made to your father and how you_ just couldn't let him down_. What makes you so eager to keep a promise to that man?"

"Well I–"

"Objection!" two guesses who said that.

"On what grounds!" Judge Herondale asked more than a little more annoyed by this point.

"I-he-" he grasped for words.

"Sit down until you have something useful to say," Hodge said.

"Now wait just a minute-" Jon's lawyer was getting riled up now.

"No I don't think I will, you are a pathetic excuse for a lawyer!"

"Oh I'm pathetic? What about you? You-" Both lawyers were cut off by a slam of a gavel against wood.

"That is enough! Counselors approach the bench!" she demanded.

Hodge and Jon's lawyer walked toward the Judge but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I put my head in my hands and started to rub my scalp. All of this was just so stressful and I just wanted it to be over.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around to see Jace sitting right behind me. He gave me a loving smile and leaned closer toward me. "Your doing great," he softly intoned. "Your stronger than even I could ask for," I gave him a genuine smile, a small one but still. I grasped that hand that was on my shoulder and wound fingers through his and squeezed.

"I love you," I said.

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my palm lightly. "I love you too," there was a rustling behind us and I let go of his hand and faced forward once more. Hodge and Jon's lawyer left the judge's bench and walked back to their desks.

Hodge gave me a meaningful look that meant that it was finally my time. _Alright, just breath, all you have to do is breath and everything will be fine. _"The defense calls Clary to the stand," Hodge's voice rang out.

* * *

**Well...That's that I suppose. I tried not to leave you with too much of a cliffy because I know I made you guys wait so long**

**Thanks a gazillion to all my fans and constructive responsers people thingys**

**And ya...  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**I know it has been forever and I am truly sorry.**

**I just haven't had any inspiration to write lately but I'm back**

**on track now. So I hope you enjoy this chapter, that is if your**

**still reading ;)**

**I would like to thank my wonderful beta **Snad **for helping me get back on track and making this chapter perfect!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments!**

* * *

JPOV

_I swear to God I'm going to kill him!_ Clary's brother had been taunting her throughout the whole trial; winking at her, smirking, just all around acting like a pompous ass. _He reminds me too much of myself._ No, no that was before; your better now. For Clary, because of her.

"The defense calls Clary to the stand," Hodge's rugged voice echoed in the courtroom. I looked a the back of Clary's head. I saw her took in a breath before placing her hands on the table in front of her and heaving herself up. She walked slowly over to the witness stand. She walked deliberately toward the stand, but never once did she flinch or hesitate, not even when she walked by her brother's table. _That's my girl!_

I watched as Hodge pulled some papers out of a file and briought them with him to the stand. "I have in my hand your file since you were put in the adoptive care system, may I give it a peek?" Hodge was really asking if it was okay if he could share its contents with the courtroom, but Clary got the message.

"Of course, it's not as if you haven't seen them before," _Translation: Not like _everyone_ here hasn't seen it_.

"Great," Hodge said and looked down at the papers in his hands. "Let's see...it says here that you were put into the system at the age of nine, is that correct?" he asked.

"Yes," Clary said in a sad voice. I could tell that this whole ordeal was bringing up bad memories for her and it made me sick. Sick to my stomach knowing that she's already gone through so much and now she's being forced to relive all of it.

"You were also in foster care for a year before the Lightwoods found you?" Hodge asked in a kind voice.

"Yes, they adopted me when I was ten," Clary answered with appreciation.

"I see...Clary can you tell me what it was like being in foster care?" Hodge asked softly.

"Well...it wasn't totally horrible. I wasn't in a home where the guardians were mean or abusing or anything like that, its just... There were so many kids there and I felt so trapped, I guess. Then my brother left and I felt trapped _and_ lonely," I could see tears forming in Clary's eyes and I was taken over by the sudden urge to sweep her into my arms and take her somewhere safe. Somewhere where she would never cry again.

"I'm sorry I have to bring up such sad memories for you Clary," Hodge said sincerely.

"It's alright," Clary said in a soft, but strong voice.

"How did you feel when the Lightwoods came to adopt you?"

"At first I was scared. I was so sure my brother was going to come back for me and I didn't want to be gone when he showed up," Clary started with a dazed look in her eyes like she was actually reliving it. "But then I met with them, Izzy and Alec were there and I just fell in love with them from the start. Mayrse and Robert were better than any parents I could ask for. And I guess they felt the same way about me because I soon found myself at their house with a room of my own," Clary finally finished with a smile while a tear escaped one of her eyes.

Hodge pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket it and handed it to her. Clary thanked him and used it to dab at her eyes. She started to give it back to him but Hodge put up a hand to stop her. She whispered another thank you. "No problem. How long have you been with the Lightwoods?"

"Six years," Clary said.

"And have they treated you well those six years?"

"More than well."

"Please elaborate," Hodge requested.

"Well, when I first went home, I felt slightly out of place. I feared that they would treat me differently because I wasn't their biological daughter. But then I met Jace," at this Clary looked directly at me, tears pooling in her eyes, but these weren't tears of sorrow. "he was also adopted by Mayrse and Robert. And I saw how much they loved him, not just _like_ he was their real son, but because he _is_ their real son," she gave me a smile and hard look, daring me to contradict her. The thing is though, the thought to argue that didn't even cross my mind. Which brought a smile to my own face.

Finally Clary looked back at Hodge. "As I am their real daughter."

You know they say there's a calm before a storm, but there certainly wasn't before this storm. In fact there was barely a millisecond before a chair screeched backwards and Jonathan was on his feet. "How dare you!" he exclaimed. "Do you really think so little of Mom and Dad that you would renounce them in place of _those people_!" he said with a particular look of disgust on his face when he said 'those people'.

"And how dare _you_?" Clary exclaimed, her eyes gleaming dangerously in a way I had never seen before. "How dare you come in here and tell me I'm the one renouncing our parents when you are going against anything they ever would have wanted for us. Do you think Mom would have wanted us to be fighting like this? To be together only by force on _your_ part?" she asked.

"Dad would have wanted us to be together no matter what! Force or otherwise," Jon spat.

"Dad also wanted to leave us for dead after Mom died!" Clary yelled and that brought Jonathan up short.

Just in time too, as a gavel chose that moment to crack loudly against hard wood. "That is _enough_." Judge Herondale pronounced. "I have heard quite enough. Mr. Fray–"

"Morgenstern, I took my father's name," Jon said with steel in his voice.

"Mr. Morgenstern then, sit down. And Ms. Lightwood you may step down from the stand," the Judge said with a sour look on her face, most likely induced by being interrupted. At first I didn't know who she was talking to but realized since Clary was formally adopted by Mayrse and Robert the justice system would recognize he as a Lightwood. And with that realization, I realized that I too would be a Lightwood. I guess we got so caught up in using each other's surnames, that we didn't realize that they weren't actually our surnames anymore.

"But I haven't finished questioning-" Hodge started, but was cut off by the impatient Judge.

"I am well aware of where your line of questioning was going, Mr. Hodge. Now if you don't mind, I will be retiring to my quarters for a some reflection," She stood and all of us followed suit. "Court will adjourn for a ten minute recess and will reconvene at the specified time," with that she was off to God knows where.

Everyone stared after her helplessly, as if we couldn't believe that just happened. But it did, just like the rest of this crazy mess I wish we could just wake up from.

CPOV

_At least I didn't have to do my little speech, _I thought to myself as I slowly stepped down from the stand and made my way back toward the table.

"Well that could have gone worse," Hodge said sarcastically as soon as I made it.

"What are you saying? That we've lost?" Mayrse asked.

"No, I'm saying I don't know. Which can sometimes be worse," Hodge said resignedly.

Mayrse opened and closed her mouth quite a few times, like she wanted to say something but at the same time, didn't. I looked over at Robert who looked deep in thought with his and on his chin. Izzy and Alec were whispering to each other and Max was behind them trying to not-so-subtly eavesdropping. Everyone seemed involved with something. I didn't dare look at the plaintiff's table because I was afraid of the emotions that would bubble if I met eyes with my brother right now. So instead I rested my eyes on Jace. He was patiently watching me, trying to gouge my reaction to everything and at the same time convey love and support.

"I think I'm going to go outside for a little bit," I announced.

"I'll come with you," Jace said without hesitation and stood up.

"Make sure you're back in here in five minutes," Hodge said as we walked down the aisle and toward the double-doors leading to the exit.

Jace opened the door for me and we stepped out into the hallway. It was a neutral beige color and was bare for the most part. There were a few doors to the left and right of us and there was a couple talking in the far corner, probably about something dull seeing as they were both wearing gray suits with coffee in their hands.

I looked back at Jace. His golden hair was glowing in the dull light and his eyes looked like melted honey. He gave me a small smile and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered on my cheek and he slowly rubbed circles along the length of my jaw. I reveled in the feeling and allowed my body to relax under his touch.

"How are you?" he asked, finally cutting through the silence.

I didn't answer; I just through my arms around him and buried my face in the nape of his neck. I held on to him as tight as I could and Jace hugged me back with equal force. "I just want it to be over, Jace," I said into his chest.

"I know, I know," he said into my hair. "I wish I could take you away Clary. We could just leave and never look back. I wish I could make it so that you would never cry again, that you would only ever be happy. I love you," He whispered. He kept whispering sweet nothings in my ear and the hum of his voice so soothing and loving I couldn't help want to stay like this forever.

We stayed there for what seemed like hours but what was in actuality only a couple minutes. I pulled back from Jace's warm embrace and looked up at him. "We need to go back in," I whispered, still feeling like if I spoke to loud it would shatter the small bubble peace we managed to create.

"I know," he whispered back, equally soft.

I placed my hand in his and pushed the door open and we entered the courtroom once more. We walked down the aisle and when we reached the end I let go of Jace's hand and let him sit down on the bench as I went to go sit down at the table. Not a second after I sat down, Judge Herondale reentered the room and we all had to rise again.

"You may be seated," she said. We sat down and stared up at her, anxiously waiting for her to pass judgment on us. "I have taken my time to reflect on the situation and each involved parties point-of-view on the matter. I must admit it was a harder decision to make than I originally thought it would be," she took a short pause and pierced her eyes on everyone in the room. "But I have made a decision none the less and I will take no objections to my ruling and that is final. Now..." the whole entire room took a collective breath, as the speech wore all of us out. "Ms. Fray, I understand that you are very happy in your home right now and I can see why you would be reluctant to leave," hope filled me at that the sound of those words. "But," and just like that it was gone. "I feel that in order for you to make a proper decision on where you would be most happy, you must have the experience of both. So, I have decided that Mr. Morgenstern will be given _temporary_ custody of Ms. Fray for the time span of three weeks. In which time Mr. Morgenstern is to prove to this court that he is capable of taking care of Ms. Fray. Also, Ms. Fray should do her best to adjust to the situation and _keep an open mind, _so that she may make a more educated decision on where she would like to keep a permanent residence until the age of eighteen. Ms. Fray will have twenty-four hours to pack items she chooses to take with her and will be officially be put in the custody of Mr. Morgenstern at twelve o' clock noon tomorrow. We will reconvene in court on three weeks from now at nine pm in order to settle Ms. Fray's permanent residence. Court adjourned," and just like that my whole entire life was shattered into a million pieces.

_This doesn't make any sense; this was never supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to real, there wasn't supposed to be any actual chance of losing. It wasn't an option because if we lost..._

"Clary," I heard a voice say, I looked up to see the one person I actually _loathe_ in the world right now.

"Jonathan," I said with disdain clear in my voice.

"Look, I know you're upset, but please try to give me a chance. I just want to reconnect with my baby sister," he said with smile as fake as Big Foot.

"I am not your baby sister."

Suddenly Jon's eyes hardened. "Think what you'd like, but you are my sister and this lowly excuse you have for a family can't change that," he spat at me. He turned to walk away but then hesitated. "You'd better be ready tomorrow, I won't wait for you to make sorry goodbyes to them," with that he was off.

I was suddenly furious._ Where does he get off calling_ my _family lowly. They never left me because they couldn't handle a death. They never left me because they couldn't get a hold of their temper. And they_ especially _never spoke to me like that!_

I turned to look at everyone and realized that while I was having my inner hate monologue, the people around me were set in motion. Izzy was trying to explain to Max what had just happened, Mayrse had started crying, no _sobbing,_ on Robert's shoulder (who looked none the better, mind you) and Jace was kind of just staring of into space while Alec awkwardly patted him on the back.

Mayrse finally managed to calm down enough to lift her head off Robert's shoulder and take a step away. She walked up to me and gave me a hug. "It'll be alright sweety. It's only going to be for three weeks and I know you're strong enough to get through it.," she said. I hugged her back fiercely.

I took a step back when I just couldn't bear it anymore and looked over at Robert. He smiled at me affectionately and ruffled my hair. "You'll be okay, kiddo, I have confidence in you," he said. I know it doesn't sound like much but if you knew Robert the way I do, you'd know how much it meant.

"We'd best be on our way," Mayrse said.

I gathered my things and stepped into the aisle. Mayrse and Robert lead the pack in the front. Then came Izzy holding Max with Alec closely following. Hodge had long since left so that just left me and Jace bringing up the rear. I slipped my hand is in his and he gave me a reassuring squeeze, he didn't say anything because, in the end, what was there to say? But once again his presence was more than enough.

~X~X~X~

When we got home, Simon was waiting for us on the porch. Before he even knew the verdict he pulled me in for a lung-crushing hug. "I'm sorry Clary. But I had to go with my mom to visit my aunt. I'm sorry I wasn't there," he kept apologizing no matter how many times I reassured him and told him that _I_ was the one who told him to go. That I would be alright.

"So," Simon started. "What's the verdict?" he asked tentatively.

"A bad one," I said and recounted the events in that damned courtroom.

He pulled me in for yet another hug. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe they did this to you. It's not right, it's not fair," Simon kept rambling on but I tuned him out and let myself listen to the hum in his voice. Surely Jon would still let me see Simon. _Right?_

I pulled away from Simon and took a deep breath. "Come on, Simon. Let's go inside," I said.

When we entered the house Mayrse and Robert were nowhere to be found. Alec was in the kitchen making something for Max to eat. I could hear Jace and Izzy upstairs arguing and decided I should probably go up there and diffuse the situation. "I'm going to go upstairs and see what Iz and Jace are doing," I said to Simon.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked .

"No that's alright. Go see if Alec needs help. He may not be as bad as Iz but he's still not nimble in a kitchen," I said with a small smile and made my way toward the stairs.

I climbed the stairs slowly so Jace and Iz wouldn't hear me coming up. I wanted to know what they were fighting about before I tried to stop them. I made it to the top and deduced that they were in Jace's room because that's where the noise was coming from. I slowly crept toward the door and listened.

_"-nly three weeks Jace,"_ I heard Iz say.

_"And do you know what he could do to her in that time span?"_ he asked incredulously.

_"He's her _brother_ not a terrorist."_

Suddenly Jace yelled. _"He might as well be! He definitely has Clary scared!"_

_ "I don't like it any more than you do, Jace," _Izzy said so quietly I had to strain to hear. _"But you can't just-"_ her voice got quiet to the point I couldn't hear anything more. I decided that this was as good as any time then to walk in.

The door creaked open and I saw Izzy and Jace hunched over whispering to each other feverishly. They both looked up when they heard me come in and they immediately straightened up.

"Clary," Jace started but I cut him off.

"I don't know what you fighting about, but whatever it is," I paused and took a breath. "_Get over it_! We have bigger problems at this point. I don't mean to sound selfish but I'd like my last day in this house for three weeks to be pleasant and I can't have that if you fighting the whole time."

"Of course," Iz said. "Your right, I'm sorry. I promise the topic won't be up for discussion _ever again_," Izzy gave a pointed look to Jace. "I'm hungry. I'm going to go see what Alec is making," and she promptly left.

Jace looked at me with sad, but determined eyes. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. "It's going to be okay," I told him and then a placed my lips on his. It started off sweet and soft but became increasingly passionate. Jace kissed me like this was the last time he would ever get the chance. Soon I tasted salty tears mingle with our kiss and I couldn't tell if they were mine or his. When I broke for a breath, I realized that they were both our tears. "Why are you crying?" I asked smiling.

Jace gave a chuckle through the tears. "I could ask you the same thing," he said and then used his thumb to wipe away my tears.

"I don't want to leave Jace," I said, though it sounded more like plea.

"I know and I don't want you to leave any more than you do. You bring me so much happiness, happiness I haven't felt in a long time and now I'm losing you to some egotistic megalomaniac," Jace's tears ceased and anger started to win out.

I lightly elbowed him in the stomach. "Using big words now, I see," I said jokingly.

"Well I have been known to have sudden burst on intelligence," he said.

"Known by who? I certainly never saw them,"

"Hey now, that wasn't very nice," he put a hand on my arm and rubbed it. "God I'm gonna miss you."

"I know, I'm gonna miss you too. But it's only three weeks, I'm sure I can handle it," I said, trying to convince myself more than him.

"It doesn't stop me from worrying."

"Well don't."

We stood there for a while just basking in each others' presence before I finally had to break the silence. "I should probably go pack," I said.

"Do you want some help?" Jace asked earnestly.

"Later I will, but I think I just need a moment to...soak it in, I guess," I said.

"Alright, call me when you need me," he said with one last hug.

"I will," I promise, and gave him when last squeeze before making my way to say goodbye to the place I called home for ten years now.

* * *

**Hope you guys are still reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright I know this chapter is a little shorter**

**than the rest, but it came out faster so I think**

**it was a good trade-off :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments or anything associated with it.**

**Special thanks to my Beta, Snad.**

* * *

CPOV

I stood in the middle of my room and looking around, trying to take in what was my life up until this point. Some people's rooms are bare and show no inkling to the person's personality who lives there, like Jace's. Others express everything about themselves and their life in the one room, like me. _I bared my soul to this room._ I spun around in a slow circle. Pictures of my family and friends could be found everywhere. Pictures of me and Izzy at her eleventh birthday party. Pictures of me and Simon at my thirteenth birthday party. I went over to my dresser and opened the top drawer and took out the pictures from before. There were pictures of me and Jonathan looking like an average pair of siblings, smiling and laughing. There were pictures of me and my mom, looking almost identical. A picture of my mom, Jon, and I at the zoo. There was only one picture with dad in the picture with us. It was a family portrait, my parents behind me and Jon. My father and Jon looked like they were right out of one of those old portraits, where no one was smiling because it took too long to take the picture. But my mom and me, we looked so animated and just..._happy_.

Before I knew it, tears were dropping onto the photos and leaking from my eyes without fail. Silently I wept silently for the family I lost so many years ago, and for the family I was about to lose. I fell down to my knees and hugged the pictures close to my chest. Allowing myself the emotional release I had been holding back all day, all week. I didn't make a noise. I didn't sob or cry out in anger; I just let the tears slide down my cheeks like water drops down a rose peddle.

"Knock, knock," I heard Jace say softly from my doorway. I quickly got to my feet and rubbed at my eyes.

"Sorry," I croaked. "I didn't mean to break down like that. At least not yet anyway."

Jace crossed the room to stand a yard away from me. "Don't be," he whispered.

"I haven't even put anything in my bag yet and I'm tearing up. I just need to get it done and over with," I said determinedly. I put the pictures down on the top of the dresser and grabbed a random handful of clothes and brought them over to where my bag was sitting on my bed. I started to stuff the clothes in the bag, but hands covered mine and stopped me.

"Do you even know what you're putting in there?" Jace asked from behind me. I turned around in his arms so I was facing him.

"No," I answered truthfully.

"I know you just want this over and done with. But you'll be a lot happier if you pack things that you really want," Jace pointed-out.

"But I'm not allowed to pack the only thing I really want," I say with a cheeky smile.

Jace pulled me against him and wrapped his arms comfortably around my petite body. "I love you and all your corny sentiments."

I smiled against his chest, "I didn't think it was _that_ corny."

"Of course you didn't. Just goes to show how much better I am at the wooing game," I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"I don't know," I say offhandedly. "Sure took you long enough to snag me," I pulled away slightly to look up at his face.

"That's because you are infinitely more stubborn than every other girl on the planet."

"Stubborn?" I ask with fake shock. "Just because I didn't fall into your arms every time you called me a _freckled-face booger-eater_ does not make me stubborn."

"True, but my good looks should have sufficed," he said haughtily.

I laughed and lightly hit him on the shoulder. "You wish. Now come on, I need to pack," I moved away from Jace and pulled the mess of clothes out of my bag. I went through the shirts and started to refold the ones I wanted to bring. Jace stayed by my side as a quiet, reassuring presence. I kept going about packing my belongings until there was nothing left to pack. I did one last sweep of the room. I didn't pack a lot so there wasn't much a difference, but I could tell. I could see the missing pictures and art utensils that use to litter the room. I felt a deep seated sadness work its way into my bones, making my entire body, mind, and soul feel weaker.

"You alright?" Jace inquired softly.

"No," I answered honestly. "But...I will be."

He gave me a slight smile. "I really am sorry about all this."

"It's not your fault, Jace. There's nothing you could have done and there's nothing you can do now except wait it out like the rest of us."

"I wouldn't say there's _nothing_ I can do..."

"Jace," I cut in sternly. "I don't know what you're planning but whatever it is, it's a bad idea!"

Jace put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I promise not to do anything stupid."

I smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck. "Promise?" I ask.

"Promise," he placed a soft peck on my lips.

~X~X~X~

Dinner was awkward and quiet. Everyone was at the table that night, even Simon stayed for dinner. We had chicken Alfredo with broccoli which is usually one of my favorites, but tonight it tasted bland. The noodles felt like rubber in mouth slipping and sliding in my mouth. The chicken felt like cardboard and was so dry it stuck to the roof of my mouth.

I started to resent my dinner and the plates they were one and the cups we were drinking out of and the _table it all sat on_. The sounds of forks scraping against the plates sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Every time someone took a sip from their glass it sounded like huge, disgusting slurps. The only time something broke through the uncomfortable not-so-silence was when Simon tried to make some dumb joke that no one would laugh at. Only Izzy would try to crack a smile at him and even then it seemed broken.

Finally I slammed my fork and knife down on the table. "You know I think the people on death row have better 'last meals' then I am right now," I said. I didn't mean to get angry, not at them at least. But I just couldn't stand the fact that I was leaving tomorrow and everyone was acting like I was going to war or something.

"I'm sorry honey," Mayrse said and reached across the table to put her hand on mine. "But it''s just been very hard on all of us," she starts in a soothing tone.

"Hard on all of us?" I asked incredulously. "I am sorry Mayrse. You know I am grateful for everything you and Robert have done for me. And I love you guys to death but you can't sit there tell me how hard it is on you. You know before you guys picked me up my home was constantly changing and when I got here...that was supposed to change. It _did_ change, but now I'm just going back to the way things used to be. Being ripped out of the place I learned to call home. So yeah, it has been hard on you guys. But it is nothing compared to what I am going through," I paused and took a breath. "Now if you'll excuse me I think I'd like to go to bed now, so goodnight."

I pushed away from the table and walked out of the kitchen. I wasn't sure if what I said in there was right or wrong, but it sure as hell felt good. _Which probably means it was wrong. _I rolled my eyes at that.

I made my way up the stairs and back into my room, where I plopped down on the bed and let out a huff of air. I just felt so _tired_ but at the same time I didn't want to go to sleep, because I knew what the morning held in stock for me. Tomorrow I would have to wake up and say goodbye to my family, my home, _my life_. To go live with a brother that I lost a long time ago.

My head was swimming and I just wanted to go to sleep, so I got up and put on my favorite pair of pajamas. I slipped under the covers and snuggled into my bed. I reached over to my nightstand to turn of the lamp when I heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I asked for fear it was Mayrse coming up here to try and apologize.

"It's me," I heard a small voice say from the other side of the door.

"Max?" Suddenly the door creaked open and a nervous Max shuffled into my room. "Max? What's wrong?" I ask when he doesn't come any closer.

He just shook his head and jamed his hands into his eyes, rubbing furiously. I gestured for him to come closer and he rushed over to the bed and threw his thin arms around me. I immediately hugged him back and rubbed my hand up and down his back. I felt something wet slowly soak my shirt where Max had his face buried in my shoulder. I move the hand that had been rubbing his back and moved it up to his hair, and ran my fingers through it.

Finally Max's sobs seemed to slow down I heard him give a slight hiccup. I pulled him back slightly so I could look him properly in the face. "Whats wrong?" I asked again, even though I knew the answer.

"I'm sorry!" Max exclaimed. "I'm so sorry Clary."

"What? What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry we made your dinner so bad. Please don't leave! I promise we'll do better, we'll make the best dinners ever and we'll talk and laugh and anything you want! Just don't leave!" a fresh flow of tears started to run down his face and I felt my own eyes prickle with unshed tears.

"Oh Max," I rub my thumb against his cheek. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault, do you hear me? I don't want to leave either," I paused and took in a shuddering breath. "But it's only for three weeks. And I promise that I will come back as soon as I can and in the mean time I'll come visit you. Okay? So just don't cry, Max" _because I don't know how much longer I can hold back my own tears_.

"Okay," Max whispered. I pull him in for another hug and squeeze him as hard as I could. Max squeezed back just as hard and I heard him sniffle. "Come on now, buck up. Otherwise I'll have to cheer you up the old fashioned way."

"What's the old fashioned way?" Max asks curiously.

"Well..." I started to tickle him in all the spots I knew would make him laugh the most. His high-pitched sequels reverberate off the walls and soon I was laughing just as hard as he is.

"Please!" giggle. "Stop, I can't–" More giggles. "–take it anymore."

My hands stop their vicious tickling. "Okay, okay. Are you all cheered up now?" I asked.

"Yup," Max answers.

"Good. Now go on and get ready for bed," I said, urging him off the bed.

"Okay," he said and scurried out of the room. I watched him leave the room and saw that Jace had been watching from the doorway. As soon as Max was out of the door way Jace stepped into the room and closed the door.

"How's he holding up?" Jace asked.

"He could be better, but I think he'll be alright," I replied.

"I don't think he quite understands what's going on yet," he walked farther into my room until he stood next to the bed.

"I think he understands more than you think."

He chuckles, "Probably. Scoot over," I smiled and did just that.

He slides under the covers and settles down next to me. He props elbow down on the bed and rests his head on his hand. I mimicked his position so that we were staring at each other.

"So..." I say. "How 'bout them Mets?"

Jace laughed at that. A genuine, free laugh that soon had me laughing just the same. Soon we came down from our laugh induced high and Jace reached a hand out and laid it on my cheek. He leaned forward and gave me a sweet kiss. I kissed him back slowly, soaking in the feeling of having him just _so damn close_ to me. Soon the kiss became urgent and I started to lose myself in the heat of it.

But something kept nagging at the back of mind even as Jace ran his hands through my hair. This kiss didn't feel like any other kisses we had shared. This one felt bitter-sweet and I realized why. I quickly pulled back and looked Jace in the eyes and my fears were confirmed.

"What's wrong?" he inquires cocking his slightly to the side.

"Don't you dare do this to me Jace," I threatened.

"What?" I could tell Jace was starting to get worried.

"Don't you kiss me like that! I won't let you," I asserted.

"I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"You're giving up! That kiss was your goodbye, but I won't let you say goodbye. Because if you do that, than we're giving up all hope. If you do that then it really is goodbye, don't you get it? So don't say goodbye, promise me that we'll stay together no matter what," I was pleading with him at this point.

Jace searches my eyes, probably making sure I haden't gone insane. Finally though, he answered me, "Okay Clary."

"Okay," I sigh, relieved.

"So tomorrow is D-day, huh?" Jace asks lightly.

"You act as if I'm going to war," I scoffed.

"Might as well be."

"You are difficult, you know that?"

"Well if I didn't before, I won't forget it now that you constantly remind me."

"I do not _constantly_ remind you," I said indignantly. Jace just give me a look that says 'oh come on'. "Okay maybe I do it a lot, but I wouldn't have to if you weren't–"

"So difficult," Jace finished. "Trust me, I know."

I smile at him and grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. We were stayed like that forever, on our sides facing each other. Nothing touching but our linked hands, a life line that kept me rooted to earth.

Eventually we fell asleep.

* * *

**And there you have it, Clary will be leaving and going to her Bro's house in the next chapter!**

**I know it is sad, but very necessary, trust me.**

** Also me and my friend have a bet about this fic. I say that there are absolutely no guys that would read this**

**she disagrees. So if there are any guys reading leave a review! **

**Thanks guys!**


	16. Chapter 16

If anyone wants to pick this story up message me. I already know the way I want the story to end so all that I ask is that you follow that storyline. Other than that its up to you. Otherwise there is still gonna be these huge gaps in between chapters. I just don't have my heart in it anymore. Sorry it took so long guys. The other option is that I can just post the way it ends if no one wants to pick it up and it takes me to long to update. This is totally unbetad and unedited. Wanted to get it to you guys as soon as possible.

CPOV

The next day went by in a numbing blur. Everyone hustled and bustled like any other day, trying to work under an illusion of normalcy. Izzy burnt some toast; Alec brooded; Mayrse stared in disdain at a stain on one of the curtains that had been there since I moved and apparently was un-cleanable. Robert tried to convince Max that cereal would not taste better with mountain dew instead of milk; and Jace offered sarcastic responses to every sentence spoken throughout the course of the morning. Just another morning in the Lightwood household.

Except for the unwavering black cloud that had taken a permanent residence over the kitchen. Things may have seemed normal, but there was a noticeable sag in everyone's movements. It was as if everyone was being forcibly dragged through their morning routine. I suppose if I could have felt anything at this point, the scene would have made me depressed. However, all I could do was try and take shelter against the pending hurricane that was approaching in the form of Jonathan.

I slowly made my way through the kitchen on autopilot. I tried to block out everything happening around me, which wasn't very hard at this point because let's face it: it is _way_ easier to act as if all was well and habitual. Sometimes it feels as though my entire life is just me trying to act as though everything is fine. So I took a piece of Isabelle's burnt toast; I let Alec brood in peace; I asked Mayrse why she doesn't just get a new curtain if she hates that stain so much. I explained to Max that we can't put soda in our cereal because that's what the evil aliens do and were not evil aliens, are we? And of course I informed Jace that his sarcastic comments were making him _difficult_ to deal with.

I had just finished pulling my blackened wheat toast into a pile of pitiful crumbs that I would definitely not be ingesting, when the door bell rang.

I couldn't breath. My brain short-circuited, I was frozen in place; my lungs stopped expanding and constricting to transport oxygen into my blood, my heart stopped pumping the deprived haematocytes. I felt dizzy as my eyes began to fail me until all I could see was the ever creeping darkness which was closing in around my vision, when suddenly the door creaked open.

"Is Clary here?"

Everything snapped back. My lungs expanded with air, my heart began to pump my replenished blood supply, my vision quickly cleared the fog.

"Come on in Simon," I realized that it was Robert who had opened the door. "She hasn't left yet."

I heard them both walk into the kitchen and looked up to see Simon. _My Simon_. My best friend who had stuck with me through thick and thin. In retrospect Jace and I haven't been together for very long so when I think of the person who always been there for me no matter what, it's always Simon. When I was depressed because of my past or felt alone and isolated it was always Simon who was there to stay there and hold me and comfort me. He wouldn't have to say anything, all he would have to do is show me that he would always stand by me and that was enough.

But today I wasn't sure if that was going to be enough. Frankly I didn't know if anything would ever be enough to help me cope with the next three weeks.

"Hey, there Clare-Bear," Simon said with a sad smile on his face. He hadn't called me that since we were a lot smaller than we were now.

I let the tiniest inkling of a smile grace my lips, "Good morning, Simon."

"I'm up and dressed before ten, I wouldn't necessarily call that a good morning," he replied with that stupid smile he gets on his face when he thinks he's being funny that I love.

"Have you ever considered not staying up all night playing Dungeons and Dragons?"

"I don't understand the question therefore I will not respond to it," he replied indignantly while trying to hide a smile.

"Your hopeless," I said through an exasperated laugh.

"Don't I know it."

"Well come on into the kitchen," Mayrse said suddenly. "I assume you haven't eaten yet."

"You assume correctly, Mrs. L," Simon answered as he followed her into the kitchen.

"You know Izzy," Mayrse started. "You've been on your feet all morning. Why don't you sit down and I'll finish up here?" which we all know is just a polite euphemism for 'please stop cooking before you set the house on fire.' Izzy knows this but still sits down with as much dignity and regal grace as any empress.

Mayrse gets to quick work beginning to make toast for Simon and once again the kitchen settles in to a familiar scene.

"Have you packed everything?" Simon asks me while he waits for his breakfast. There is a shuffle under the table and he suddenly exclaims in pain. "Ow, Isabelle! What was that for?"

Iz just rolls her eyes and continues to glare at him.

"It's fine," I say to Isabelle. And then to simon, "Yeah I have already packed. Though one thing I noticed while I was collecting some reading was that some of my comic books are still missing. Ones I know for a fact that I let you borrow."

Simon looked rightfully guilty. "Well you see, the thing about that is – well what it is, is... You know I think Max stole them from me."

"I did not!" came the indignant protest from Max. I simply raised my eyebrow at Simon and he looked away as he always does when he knows I've caught him with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

"No matter," I reply. "It just gives me an excuse to go visit you and leave Jonathan's. If he even let's me leave."

"Now don't be ridiculous," Robert quipped. "He doesn't exactly seem like a pleasant fellow, but I don't believe he's going to detain you under house arrest. He has to allow you to go to school after all."

"Thanks, that's a lot of comfort," but you know, it kind of was. No matter what happens he can't stop me from going to school otherwise he'll be deemed unfit. Of course this just makes me hope he _does_ keep at home so the court will take me out of their as quick as they put me in it.

_Ding-dong_

Now this was it, all of us were here now which meant there could only be one person who pressed that doorbell.

_Ding-dong_. Came the doorbell again. Now it was definitely sure, no other person on this planet could be that annoyingly insistent. Well except maybe Jace, but I'd really rather not compare my brother to Jace.

Mayrse was the first to jump into action, standing to go answer the door. Though once she was in motion everyone else began to move. Simon finished the rest of his toast and put the plate in the sink. Robert stood to go meet Jonathan at the door. Max slurped the rest of his milk from the bowl and stood to go put his bowl with Simon's plate. Izzy grabbed my bags and began to carry them to the door and Jace...actually now that I thought about it I hadn't seen Jace for awhile. He must have disappeared at some point during breakfast and never returned. This is what finally prompted me to get up and move. I heard the muffled conversation between Robert, Mayrse and Jonathan and figured I had a couple minutes while they spoke to find Jace.

I made my way upstairs and tried to listen for him. I didn't hear anything in the bathroom so I headed straight for his room. I knocked on the door and at first there was no answer. I was actually just about to abandon the door when I heard Jace beckon me inside.

I opened the door and found him sitting on the bed, his face turned downward and slightly away from me. His hair covered most of his face so I couldn't see what he was trying to hide from me, which I suppose was by design.

"Jace," I said after what felt like an eternity of silence. He finally scrubbed at his face and looked up at me.

Now when most people have been crying there are some universal tell-tale signs which give them away; red eyes, tear tracts, stuffy nose, etc. However when Jace has been crying its a completely different story and that's because he doesn't actually cry. So instead of blood shot eyes and a running nose, one can tell if Jace has been crying because all of the tears will have gathered on his eyelashes. Like morning dew on grass.

And that is what I saw on his face when he finally looked at me. Every part of me wanted to rush toward him and gather him in my arms but I knew that was not the way to handle Jace. So instead I approached him like an injured lion, slowly and cautiously. It was pain-staking process but I finally found myself beside him on the bed. I didn't say anything, I just let my hand cover his and squeezed.

He chuckled breathlessly. "How do you always know exactly what to do?"

"Oh please," I laugh off. "If that's what you think then you obviously have not been watching closely."

"No, really," He looks up and smiles at me. "I have seen you tread through piles of crap and always come out on top. Always with the utmost grace and beauty. I have no idea how you do it because right now I feel like I'm gonna fall apart." I'm about to protest but he catches himself and quickly adds, "See even now I'm doing the wrong thing. I shouldn't be telling you this. I should be acting strong, like everything is okay. I should be acting strong for you but instead I'm falling apart and the worst part is that I'm telling you about it."

This time I am able to cut him off. "Alright first off, I absolutely do not make it through life with the 'utmost grace and beauty' I stumble through it at best. And second it is more than okay that you are telling me how you are feeling. Because I hate to break it to you, you could have acted like the biggest, toughest knight in shining armor and I still would have seen right through you. I would have known you weren't okay because I'm not okay. With any of this, and you know what? That's alright. It's normal not to be okay with this and its normal to start to fall apart. _It's okay to not be _okay. The important thing is that we are here to help pick each other up when all of this is over."

Jace suddenly jerked up and put his hands on my shoulders. "You're right," he says and this surprises me because even though the nature of our relationship has changed, we still tend to disagree on a lot of things. "It is okay. Because I'm going to make it okay," Jace sounds desperate at this point and it's honestly starting to scare me.

"Jace, what are you talking about?" I asked tentatively.

He suddenly snapped out of his craze. "Nothing. I'm just saying you're right. We are going to be okay."

"Well, good," I said not totally convinced.

"Clary!" I hear Mayrse call from downstairs.

I look at Jace and he slowly gets up, pulling me with him. "Come on," he says. "If I don't let you go now I never will and something tells me that Judge lady would be none too happy about that," He gave me one of his perfect grins which made me smile in return.

We made ourselves downstairs where I found everyone waiting for us.

I hugged everyone individually. Robert first, we aren't exactly close but he's really proven how much he cares throughout this entire his endeavor and I hug him hard. Next is Mayrse, I try to keep it brief because I know she's on the verge of tears and she doesn't like to cry but she doesn't release me for a very long time. "I love you," she whispers to me.

"I love you too."

Next is Alec. Honestly, I expect a really awkward hand shake but much to my surprise he pulls me in for a hug. Now admittedly it _was_ still kind of awkward but also really nice. He doesn't say anything but that embrace was enough.

Now comes Izzy, she forces me into a fierce hug and honestly I think she's going to force the air from my lungs. "You're my sister no matter what he says, don't forge that. I love you and I slipped some pepper spray in your bag in case that sceaze tries anything."

I laugh a little at that and squeeze her one last time before releasing, "I love you too."

I turn around and scoop Max up into my arms and spin him around. He giggles slightly but quickly suppresses it. "I'm going to miss you Clary," he says in a small voice that reminds me of the sound of a baby's first cry. When they have been forced out of their mother's warm and loving womb and out into the cold blast of air from the world outside.

"I'll miss you to maxy," I whisper, burying my face in his hair. In some ways I will miss Max the most because he has the infallible ability to brighten my day.

"Eh hem," I hear Jonathan clear his throat, signaling that he is ready to go. My face hardens and just to upset him I put Max down real slow and don't even look at Jonathan. Instead I turn on my heal to Jace.

I walk into his arms feel his warmth wash over my body. The only thing he whispers into my ear is, "Not goodbye, remember?"

I nod into his chest and pull away. He smiles at me, though it is tainted by sorrow. I smile back and suspect mine is also plagued by sadness.

And now, last but not least. Simon. "I almost thought you were going to forget me," he said with the right side of his lips turned upward.

"Never," I said. I grabbed on to Simon and pulled him as close to me as was humanely possible, which probably looked funny because he's so much bigger than me know. Simon never became built but puberty had gave him about six inches on me. It didn't matter though because he was still the same old, scrawny kid that I've always known.

"Alright Clarissa," Jonathan's voice cuts in and reminds me why I was holding onto Simon in the first place. "It's time to go. The long one already put your bags in the car. There's nothing holding you here, come on we need to go."

"Hey the 'long one's' name is Isabelle," Iz cut in with a look that would stop any other person in their tracks. But not Jonathan of course.

"Bye guys," I say. "I'll see you in three weeks," and with that I walked out the door.

I walked to the car and was stopped by the extravagance of it. Now, I don't pretend to know a lot about cars; I don't pretend to know anything actually. But I do know enough that it is a really nice, _really expensive_ car.

"You like?" Jonathan asked. "It's a the latest model Chevy Impala, just bought it in march."

"It's fine I guess," I somewhat unwillingly praise. I slip into the car, Jonathan asks why I don't sit up front but he knows I just want to be as far away from him as possible. As we drive away, away from my home, away from my family, away from my best friend, away from Jace, I think to myself, _everything is holding me here._

~X~X~X~

"And here we are," Jonathan says when we finally arrive at his apartment. "Home sweet home."

"Home, right," I reply quietly.

"Oh come on Clary. You can't spend all your time brooding around, whether you like it or not you are going to be here for the next three weeks so you might as well try and make the most of it."

"Thank you but I'm perfectly happy to brood."

"Well while you're pouting, at least let me show you around and where you will be sleeping."

He took through the apartment room by room. When you first walk through the door there is an open foyer with dark hard wood floors; from here if you go to the left there is a fully equipped, granite covered kitchen and located to the right is a furnished living room. The couch was an electric blue which held great aesthetic value but looked extremely uncomfortable to sit on. In front of this couch was a glass coffee table and in front of that was an absurdly large flat screen television complete with I could only assume to be absurdly loud surround sound. Despite the flashy nature of the actual objects which filled the apartment everything was organized in a distinctly linear pattern. No hint of randomness or disarray or any actual sense that a person _really _lived here. It was picturesque, but in the way that pictures of apartments in magazines look perfect. Everything is on display and not a single lamp is out of place but it looks completely barren, _empty_.

If you go into further to the right, through the living room there is a hallway which contains and bathroom on the right, a single bedroom on the left and a large master bedroom at the end. At least, that's what Jonathan told me, he wouldn't actually let me see the master bedroom. I guess the need to keep baby sister out of his room still held true after all this time.

The single bedroom, the room I would be sleeping in, was set up much like the rest of the apartment. It was completely done up in green and looked like a page in a JCPenny catalog.

"I hope you like it," Jon said from behind me as surveyed the room.

"It's fine."

"Just fine? You know I worked really hard to get all of this and despite your less than enthusiastic reaction I happen to know this is a very desirable living space."

"Well if you think its so amazing why do you need to here me say it?"

"Because the sooner you start admitting this isn't so bad, that I'm not so bad. The easier this is gonna be," It was obvious that Jonathan was not going to let off on this whole deal.

"Fine. Well if you want me to like it so much then why don't you give me some time to break it in."

"Okay," Jon deadpanned.

There was an awkward, pregnant silence while Jonathan continued to stand in the doorway until I finally said, "Alone."

"Right. Of Course," he smiled at me like he had some juicy secret just begging to escape his lips. But if there was a secret it remained hidden because he slipped out and shut the door with a soft click.

And once again I was alone. In the last years that I had been with the Lightwoods I had become accustomed to the ever-present noises which would occupy the household. Whether it be Isabelle's blow dryer, Jace downstairs getting a midnight snack, or Max watching TV just a bit too loudly. It seemed no matter what I was always comforted by the presence of others; regardless of whether or not I was directly interacting with them it always put my mind at ease knowing that they were there if I needed them.

Now I was filled with anything but comfort. Instead an aching silence has replaced my consoling cacophony of sounds and has left me vulnerable to the wounds which only loneliness can produce.

I put off unpacking so I could deny my situation a little longer and instead decided to inspect my room. I jumped onto the bed and found that it was actually very soft and comfortable. The bed spread was satiny and it made me feel like a water droplet gliding along a the pedal of a flourish flower. I peeled myself off of the bed and approached the drawers. They were on the opposite wall and pushed to the left, away from the door. They were made from luminescent Ash wood and were perfectly polished. Opening them I found that they were completely bare, as I had expected. The closet was made of the same wood and was a bare as the drawers. Next to my bed I had a nightstand also made from Ash wood (obviously Jon had a thing for constancy) on top of which sat a fuzzy green lamp which looked like it belonged in the room of a nine year old. I half expected to find a bible in the small stand because this entire place felt as fake and superficial as a hotel room.

At this point I had scoured the entire bedroom and found myself nervously wringing my hands, trying to think of something to do. In the end I found my way back to the bed and pulled my cell phone out my suitcase. I normally didn't use it very often because the only people I call either live at my house, or is Simon who basically lives at my house anyway.

I opened my contacts and felt my fingers hovering over the different numbers. I wasn't sure who to talk to first. Isabelle would ask a lot of questions, Mrs. Lightwood would be terse, Mr. Lightwood would be too formal, Alec would be awkward, and Jace would threaten to come storming to the house to kill Jonathan.

In the end I opened a text message to Simon, I didn't dare call because I know my voice would crack.

Clary: Hey Simon.

Simon: Clary! Glad to hear from u. Y r u txting?

Clary: I didn't want Jonathan to know I was talking to you guys in case he tried to stop me. And stop texting like that!

Simon: Wat a dick. Nd like wat?

Clary: Use actual words!

Simon: Fine. I will conform to your ideas of proper English. So how are things there? Does he have you locked in a dungeon with chains on the wall?

Clary: Not exactly. Everything is very JC Penny catalog style.

Simon: Mhmmm. Is there food?

Clary: Right because the first thing I looked for was the fridge.

Simon: Would have been the first thing I did.

Clary: I'm sure haha. Honestly I'm just tired. I think I'm going to take a nap.

Simon: Are you sure you feel comfortable falling asleep while he's in the house?

Clary: Well I don't exactly have a choice.

Simon: Yeah, I suppose you're right. But you're okay right?

Clary: I'm fine. I'll survive.

Simon: Ok. Ill talk to you later.

Clary: Ttyl.

Simon: Now look whose using text-talk

Clary: Whatever. Bye Simon.

Simon: Bye Clary. Sleep tight.


End file.
